Donating a kidney

[PotteringAlong]

My dad needs a kidney transplant. Due to my siblings own kidney issues I'm the only one who can be tested to donate. Does anyone have any experience? I don't know what to think (and it's Christmas and I've drunk half a bottle of champagne which isn't helping )

Do you have specific questions or after stories? I have no personal experience but through work have met many people who have donated a kidney/ part of their liver to a family member.
Testing for suitability is an in depth process and you should have a transplant coordinator to be able to assist you in any questions you may have. I'm sorry your dad is poorly and wish you both luck whether you decide to go down the route of a living donor or not.

To be honest I'm torn between the feeling that I should do it and the fear that I will die and my DS's will be left without me and I can't risk it. The NHS quote a risk of 1 in
3000 of death but I have no idea whether that's high or not.

If I'm honest, I'm not sure what I'm looking for. It only came up as a possibility this week and I know it's something I need to think about properly in the new year but it keeps pervading my thoughts!

It's not something that I would do for a parent. What if one of your children needed one on the future?

I would do this for my father in a heartbeat but OP, we are all different. You may not be compatible, think carefully about being tested because if you are compatible the expectations will be high.

It's a tough one, what are his chances of getting a cadaveric donor?

I don't think I would be able to do this for one of my parents either. I would for DDs though. It wouldn't be the acute side effects of the procedure that deterred me, but instead the fact that I would be dependant on one kidney.

It's a very big decision and I wish you luck in coming to the right one for you.

I have donated a kidney to a family member so have been through the whole process.

Have you actually discussed the donation with your dad? He may refuse you giving the kidney which resolves the issue. What is his blood type? If it's fairly common type and he is of good health ( barring the failing kidney/dialysis) then has he spoken about receiving a cadaver kidney?

You do realise that not being compatible isn't an issue any more? I donated to a family member who had a different blood group and who had no similar 'markers' to myself. It's called an ABO incompatible transplant.

Also, how old are your children? They won't let you start the process until your youngest child is 1 and even then they will be hesitant to allow donation if you want further children.

If you want to PM any questions or chat further go ahead, I've documented the transplant on here before and am happy to answer any questions you have. I also probably experienced any fears you may have as I also have young children, which was a massive consideration when donating.

reindeer thank you for the lovely post - I haven't sat down and spoken properly with my mum and dad yet, it was a "let's deal with it after Christmas" type thing that I was trying to think through before I had that conversation! My youngest child is only 14 weeks old though which may prevent any further discussion. I didn't know that about incompatible donors; my mum is willing to donate if possible so again it may be a bridge I don't have to cross.

I may pm you in a few weeks though if that's ok?