Can anyone talk me down <scared>

[FrighteningPuffin]

I feel ridiculous even posting this as it's a non issue at the moment.

I saw another thread a few days ago about nipple discharge and the OP was advised to go to the doctors.

I have had discharge for a long time (2 years ish) however I have had some other concerns lately so inspired by the thread I made a doctors appointment.

Doctor was lovely and listened to my concerns, one of which was my nipple 'being weird' (I actually said that!) I hadn't felt any lumps though.

She examined me thoroughly and concluded she wasn't worried about the discharge but felt that the breast was lumpy which combined with nipple change was a concern and was referring me urgently to the breast clinic. This was a couple of days ago.

I googled breast cancer signs and the 'weird nipple thing' is called dimpling. I have also had (a few weeks ago) an abbess on the other breast (not breast feeding) and chest pains which have been diagnosed as muscle strain.

I'm now falling to fucking pieces. I never fall apart.

I can't freak out outwardly and I need to calm the fuck down. Please can you all come and call me a twat and give me tips to not explode.

Hi Puffin,
Sorry to hear you are having to live with such uncertainty at the moment.
It's really distressing when we don't know what is happening to us and if you are anything like me it is always worst case senario that gets jumped to first ;-)

For now step away from Dr Google and leave it to the experts.
Just remember however you emotionally spend the next few days will not affect the outcome of your appointment so if you can try and adopt the "I'll deal with it if it happens" approach. Almost impossible I know.

Alternatively just give in to feeling awful, maybe these are some emotions you have been hiding away and actually need to feel before they will leave you.

However you cope with what you are going through, you will cope. And it sounds like even though you are in distress you are coping at the moment.

I hope all goes well,

N x

Puffin Firstly, here's a hug. You sound like you need it. (( ))

I can understand why you are so worried and you've definitely done the right thing. For the moment now all you an do is wait so please don't Google anything else. All it is is a sure fire way to torture yourself.

The chances are you will get the all clear and this will be a distant worry soon but in the mean time, keep busy and keep talking to your loved ones or us if it helps.

There is also nothing wrong with just having a good old cry and there is no right or wrong way to deal with the worry.

Take care and remember that we are all here to listen. Its easier to talk to people you don't "Know" sometimes.

Thanks ninjacat your name makes me smile as I have recently got a kitten that thinks she's a ninja

I agree I need to step back a bit and am staying away from the bastard google!

xx

Thanks to you as well Felix

It is easier to 'get it out my system' here as I really can't start flipping out at home (not in a martyrish way). I feel loads better for just getting my thoughts down.

for you both

Sorry you are going through this. I can completely empathise with the panic and the googling. I have a genetic mutation that gives me a high risk of breast and ovarian cancer and have had a few scares necessitating trips to the breast clinic in the last couple of years.

Firstly I would say that (good) GPs will always refer urgently if a lump or anything suspicious is found - most recently I saw my GP on a Tuesday morning with a lump and was at the breast clinic the next day. This is partly because of my mutation but also is also best practice more generally. The lump turned out to be a cyst and was diagnosed there and then after aspiration.

Secondly, breast cancer in both breasts is pretty rare, so I think you can probably discount the abscess and pains as being connected to the lumpiness. I do know how the anxiety escalates and every little thing becomes further confirmation of your worst case scenario.

The below cbt type technique has helped me rein in the terror a little bit and stop my imagination running away with itself.

Event: Found a lump/worrying breast change
Reaction: Oh my god, what if it's cancer?!
Emotion: Fear. Anxiety. Resignation to my fate.
A more rational reaction/emotion: My risk factors for breast cancer are fairly slim, so it's mostly likely not serious. If it is serious, we couldn't have caught it any earlier than we did. There's nothing I can do to get my result sooner. I'll make an extra effort to concentrate on my everyday tasks and responsibilities to keep the worry at bay.

Hope that helps a little bit. I do understand what you're going through and the strength it takes to get through the waiting for tests/results. I hope the next few days pass quickly - I will be thinking of you.

That helps loads uwaga

You are totally right about me connecting everything together and letting that feed my fears.

I'm so glad that I posted, I felt really awful this morning, talking it out here has bought me back to earth. I'm going to try and stay calm and not borrow trouble.

Arse! I mean

Hugs from me too. No point telling you not to be scared, but 9 out of 10 referrals to Breast Clinics turn out to be nothing, so maybe try and fix on that for now.