Diagnose me? Oweee!

[Ambrosius]

Three times today I have had an immense stabbing pain in my bottom it goes on for 30 seconds to a minute and my lower back aches for a while afterwards. The stabbing pain is sort of halfway down my bum crack on one side.
It hurtsssssss! :(

Sounds a little like sciatica to me.

I sometimes get an achey pain (intensely uncomfortable) in my bum muscle and lower back that I need to take diclofenac for but nothing like this before, its a real call out and gasp for breath type pain.

Sorry I meant to say that I thought the achey uncomfortableness was related to my Sciatic nerve.