Tear has not healed - GP says I might need vaginal reconstruction

[natalieimbruglia]

Changed my name to avoid making this obviously searchable!

Gave birth two months ago and was torn (was not stitched). Went for six-week check this week (is 10 weeks post-birth) and GP did a thorough exam (at my request) but when he put the speculum in I thought he'd done something wrong and started screaming to get it out. He said that's not very good. He reckons that it hasn't healed very well but he can't see what the damage is, nothing obvious.

I've not done The Deed since giving birth so I don't know how functional things are in my lady's grotto. However the GP said that it looks likely that I will need reconstruction.

Has anyone had this done? It sounds awful. I think I'd rather just never have sex again. Advice would be welcomed.

I had a nightmare re healing, I had an epiositimy (sp) and stitches and didn't heal well and got an infection, I had to have antibiotics but did heal eventually.

Don't worry about doing the deed - my dd was nearly 4 months and I needed a lot of wine and lubricant to 'get through it' but was fine.

Perhaps, give it a little more time to heal and if not O.K then get a referral.

I have no experience of reconstruction or know anyone that has (admitted to I suppose) but look at it positively you could become 'tighter' without doing all the pelvic floor exercises etc.

I did have one small 'area' which needed 'repair' after dd but by the time the appointment came through the pain had completely stopped so I opted not to have the (v minor) surgery. Hope this is the case with you and that time will heal better than surgery.

I had some work done after my episiotomy broke down, and recovering from the op was pretty rough, but now it is healed things are fine. Was all a bit tight and uncomfortable at first but after about 6 months or so back to normal. I would advise having someone else look at it first before you decide - it sounds normal to me for it to be painful and tender at this point.

However if there are improvements to be made just grit your teeth and do it. My own gp said she was denied this op for 10 years (25 years ago, they said "wait until you've finished having children") and couldn't have sex in all that time

It's only two months. These things take time, and if the GP says nothing is obvious then that is a good sign - though why does he then think you will need reconstruction?

I have had tears with two births. The first one (possibly stitched badly) took some time to heal, and surgery was considered... but like the other mumsnetter, things got better.

Get yourself a referral to a specialist or your local perineal clinic if there is one. There is specialist help and even physio you can have.

After my second tear I got referred to a fantastic new clinic, and oestrogen cream helped solve the problems.

If you do need surgery in the end, then good luck.

I know three people who've had this done and all have said it's made an overwhelming difference to them. Good luck with it.

Hi I posted on here about an episiotomy that didn't heal after DD was born. Surgery was mentioned and I was really upset because I didn't want anything to get in the way of breastfeeding (I had a general anaesthetic while DS was feeding and it was a bit stressful). Anyway after numerous visits to GP and hospital the episiotomy actually finally healed ok without the need for surgery when DD was about 5 months. Looking back I don't think that the unrealistic time scales given to me by doctors really helped the situation. I've since talked to 2 other people who took that long to heal. If you can, give it a little more time to heal before you make any decisions. I know this may be easier said than done ( I couldn't wee without been in pain for the full 5 months!!)

hi there
my sister had this done a few years ago (she was restitched) and she found the experience overwhelmingly positive. I'll ask her the details when I see her and see if I can post it then.
try not to worry about it - but be assertive and get yourself as much help as you need.