Argh! BigBird crap everywhere...

[LupusinaLlamasuit]

No. Not that BigBird

Just some fecking albatrosses or summat set up shop in my trees. Giant splashy white stuff ALL over the kids' toys all the bleeding time. And lumps, LUMPS I tell you, bloody great black and green and sticky golfball sized lumps all over the lawn.

What do I do?

a. not worry about the kids getting it all over themselves, in the toddler's gob

b. clean it off

c. camp out and hunt the buggers down with a blunderbuss

cant think of how to help you, sorry. i have afew large trees in my garden and we get the occasional splat, i clean it off the kids toys, as sure there must be something they can catch off it
maybe get a cat

it must be nesting in your tree. hopefully eggs should be hatching anytime now and it will bugger off. sorry, not much help

Yes. Thanks. Will they all be buggering off soon then?

If you put some old cd's outside, dangling on some string it might get them to piss off. It looks pretty anyway.