Is this a grasshopper?

[Dilbertian]

It's not making any noise.

Yes.
They only make noise when you're not looking.

No, not a grasshopper, it’s a green bush cricket (a grasshopper relative). I sometimes find them indoors this time of year.

They only tend to make a noise when the air temperature is high enough, strangely.

My DH found a massive grasshopper in our bathroom last week - no idea how it got upstairs, unless it had a particularly high jump and came in through the window

@verypeckish, it might have been a Roesel’s bush cricket, I had one indoors a few years ago - looks like a large grasshopper.