Would dp's body make good fertiliser?

[Turnipsandsproutswithtinselon]

Because he has just ripped up all my lovingly nutured celeriac in search of parsnips.

I think he would. If you like an overgrown garden.

Next door was really overgrown, I assume it must have been well fertilized. The body had been there since just after the war, though, so I guess the effect of that initial fertilizer boost was long gone.

Yes, just don't wrap his body in plastic. That's where the Jordaches went wrong in Brookside.

Yes, the body next door had been wrapped in jute bags.

I could chop him up maybe to ensure even coverage?

Seriously, Quint?

a good punishment for TurnipH would be to have to use the compost bin for having a wee, even in the middle of the night, for a whole month (sentence suspended until January)

Yes seriously. New owners of the house backing on to ours. They got garden clearance in, and started digging to make foundations for a new shed. It was a very shallow grave....

I want to know too Quint!

As below.

Wow

I think the pertinent question here is; how easily would you get away with it?
That question saved my ex on a couple of occasions.

Dried blood = good, bonemeal = good. Hoof and horn = lets not go there...

I'm sorry for posting on an almost zombie thread.. But this has made me laugh so much. I think ex do would make some good fertilizer :)
My dad decided he would helpfully put some weed killer down in my garden.. All over my strawberry rhubarbs is been nurturing and waiting to taste.. I've not let him forget it.. I hadn't even asked him to come and sort my garden out !