DS wants to leave sixth form and do catering at college instead

[TalonFury]

DS is 17 and in year 12 doing 3 a levels. He got really good gcse results in the summer, mostly 7s, 8s and 9s, and his teachers were all saying he should stay on and he could do well at uni etc.

Anyway he now wants to leave and do catering at college. He has always liked cooking tbf, he does cook tea quite a bit if im working late and he’s actually pretty good at it. He made most of the food for a family get together a few weeks ago and was happier doing that than sitting with everyone else. So its not completely out of nowhere but I thought it was just something he enjoyed doing rather than an actual career plan.

He says he hates sitting in lessons all day and revising for exams and wants to do something practical.

The thing is he isn’t struggling with his a levels. He’s doing reasonably well so far and his teachers think he is capable of getting good grades. I know that doesn’t mean he has to go to uni but I just feel like he is giving up a lot of options when he has worked hard to get where he is.

He keeps saying he doesn’t want to spend another 2 years doing subjects he isn’t interested in just because he got good grades at gcse. He says he can always go back to studying later if he changes his mind but I keep thinking its easier to carry on now than have to start again in a few years.

I have tried to explain that working in a professional kitchen isn’t the same as cooking at home. The hours can be awful and its hard work and not necessarily well paid, especially to start with. He just says he knows and that he’d rather do something he actually enjoys than go to uni for the sake of it.

My partner thinks we should let him get on with it as its his life and he seems to have thought about it properly. I can see that side of it but I don’t think 17 is old enough to know what you want to do for the rest of your life either.

We aren’t expecting him to go to uni just because everyone else does, and we couldn’t afford to support him indefinitely if he kept changing his mind anyway. I just want him to have a decent chance of getting a stable job and not regret leaving sixth form when he could have done well.

He has asked me to help him look at the college courses and open days but I’ve said I want him to think about finishing his a levels first. Now he’s saying I wouldn’t be questioning him if he wanted to go to uni and study something academic.

Am I being unreasonable wanting him to finish his a levels first or should I just accept that he knows what he wants to do? Has anyone’s dc gone down the catering route when they could have carried on academically?

I work in FE Careers and would strongly suggest you call the College that he wants to move to . At this point in the year it may be very unlikely he can still move so the decision is made for now . He has three “ free” years of further Ed but it’s then much harder to get funding for A levels

Im not sure catering generally is that exciting a career but all the decent restaurant owners around here (we have a lot - coastal village) arent just good chefs they are pretty switched on too!

Can he work weekends and holidays in a local.kitchen?

I think it’s really difficult . I have been in your position , my son left and went to catering college - he thrived at college and did really well . He’s had several bad jobs in the past but there is always work available. He has always been able to walk out of one job into another without a problem . For the last four years he has worked for Cambridge university . Good pay and very generous conditions and pension . Plus only works forty hours a week and gets overtime if a minute over. He also has every other weekend off. It hasn’t been an easy road he is 27 now but he. Loves his work and has a successful career. Hugs 🤗 I know it’s tough I would let him leave and do what he wants. Life is too short x

Can you suggest he stays doing the a levels for now as i suspect he couldnt start until next september anyway

but gets weekend or evening work to do with catering so he has a better idea of the industry so its a more informed decision or he diesnt feel like he's doing nothing towards what he wants to do.

A lot of people take tol christmas to settle with thier a levels and then start enjoying them more.

I would possibly talk to him about a compromise of staying for this year and if he still wants to do that at the end of the year then you will help him, as a previous poster said it may well be too late for this year anyway so he might as well give it the rest of the year to think. Plus maybe see if he can get a weekend job in a kitchen?
But at the end of the day it’s his decision I think. After all if you refuse he could just refuse to go to sixth form or go and put no effort in which would be a waste.

A-Levels aren't for everyone, even if you're bright. A few people at my college did the first year, or both, and then quit the traditional academic route and went to vocational college. Some still went to university afterwards.

My brother and I both resented the fact that our mother put such emphasis on us doing our A-Levels and degrees to get 'proper' jobs. We've both left teaching and gone into different careers. Fulfilling our mother's desires wasted years of our lives that we could have put towards doing what we had preferred to do in the first place, so I'd be inclined to let your DS do as he wishes.

It's a big leap going from school, where all of the decisions are made for you (or they tell you to stay on at their sixth form), to being allowed to choose what you want to do with your life. He might stay in catering forever, or he might not, but let him make his own choices from now on.

I would have a conversation about future proofing careers against illness and injury. Chef is the kind of physically demanding job that often forces retirement. If you haven’t managed to save, that can mean a meager future.

That doesn’t mean it’s not a worthwhile, skilled career. He just needs to go into it with his eyes open. Perhaps he could get a job washing dishes so he can get some time in a kitchen now. If he still wants to proceed, then he is correct it is his life and it is a real plan.

As others have said, it might be a good idea for him to finish this year at least, unless he’s planning to get a full-time kitchen job it won’t be easy to start a new course at this time of year.

Bit knowing what he wants to do now is so useful, if he really does enjoy it he’ll be streets ahead of his mates building up debt at uni and still having to start from square one when they graduate. Cooking is so versatile: he could work in a restaurant,be a personal chef, work in the kitchen on a cruise liner… sounds like a great prospect!

I’d suggest that he gets a part time job in a local restaurant kitchen until the end of the school year, and then if that goes well, you will agree to him leaving sixth form and doing a catering qualification next September.

As others have said, it is likely too late for this year which is a big help.

If he is sensible, he will see that there is no point in dropping out now and doing nothing until next September. He may find that he enjoys A levels/mates/sixth form life more as time goes on and then decides to do catering post A levels anyway.

Chat to him like an equal - as he has no experience of the industry yet beyond ‘liking cooking’, it would be very rash to swap now on a whim, and if he puts more thought into it, he may come out with some other, better opportunities perhaps? There are some truly excellent culinary schools out there if he’s really serious about a career in food. Instead of uni? Cordon Bleu and Tante Marie are particularly rigorous and highly respected.

Has he considered food science as a career? Massively growing industry, lots of apprenticeships as well as traditional degree courses, and as a development chef (for example) he’d be creating recipes influencing what everyone eats?

It’s his life. And catering can be a fantastic job with great opportunities if he’s good. Why go to uni and have loads of debt for something he has no interest in.

I also expect that if you/he contact the FE college it will be too late to switch for this academic year.
So if that is the case then he needs to
either
a) keep going with the A levels for this year and try to find a part time job in catering industry (gives a chance to reconsider, you keep child benefit, he is gainfully occupied)
b) drop out, filling the time usefully eg with longer hours work, cooking at home, learning to drive

It sounds like he got on the default train of 'academics' and no one (including himself) thought to ask him if that was where he really wanted to go.

On the contrary, I'd say it's very future proof against AI - which many graduates/entry level careers are losing out to right now!

OP I'd be grateful he is so motivated and driven in a particular direction, especially career focused. Who knows what doors it will open.

So you think 17 is too young to decide the rest of his life (as you put it) but you expect him to make choices that you have decided for him? So he is the one that will have to fit the life you have decided?

Please let him go.

Decisions my parents made for me about post 16 education have had a knock on effect that impacted my mental health.

It also caused problems with my relationship with my parents.

Obviously my experience is extreme but he is really old enough to make choices about his education.

To future proof any job remember, humans will always be born, they always need to eat, they will always die. Jobs that are connected to those things will always be around.

Too late to switch now.

my dd did a catering course. It’s hard work but she really enjoyed it.

With the rise of AI learning a practical skill may be way more sensible than continuing with A levels

@BelindaButterfly The University of Nottingham is shutting down its food science dept. DH friend works there. It’s a niche industry, actual food scientists sit with their heads in books and faffing with spreadsheets a lot as it’s pure science. There is a practical side but it’s all physics, chemistry and biology. DH is a food scientist and has worked for some huge well known companies.

My family owned a restaurant and all of us at different times have worked in catering. It is really hard work but I would listen to him.

Perhaps at a higher level, but my DD works in the industry after doing a degree apprenticeship and there’s a lot of hands on work at her level, creating and adjusting recipes for customers, presenting new ideas, working on Christmas products in March and BBQ in October! For a young person who is quite academic but loves cookings it’s a great combination.

So he doesn't want to do a level you seem like you want it more than him? And 17 is old enough to know what he wants to do you sound pretty stuck up however will you brag to your friends if your son is in trades 😂 I'd rather a kid work a trade than get a useless degree at University that doesn't guarantee you'll get a job quit being a snob and let your kid what they want to do

He (and you) should be open to all the choices available not just see things as a b&w LEVELS VERSUS catering college . Could he for example take AS levels at the end of this year, so that the year isnt wasted? Definitely look at post ALevel options such as food/catering/hospitality/business related degrees. And, yes, look at catering college and getting a part-time job so he knows what he'd be letting himself in for. AS level exams this year plus a perttimecatering job then reassess befor year 13 would be a reasonable compromise. Sorry about random capitals and typos, keyboard is being very uncooperative!

His life, his choice He's got goid gcses so if he wants academic life in the future he can still go to uni etc