Would you send your child to a private sixth form as a low income single parent.

[Doghelp12]

Hypothetically, if your high achieving, but extremely "working class" child was offered a full bursary to a private school for sixth form, would you take it?
Knowing he would not have much in common with his peers and would know he is much less affluent. Having attended state schools in areas of high deprivation for his previous education.

Has anyone got any experience of this?
Would it be better to pursue more academically selective, but not private sixth forms?

What does he want to do?

This situation not 100% away from my experience but it was all driven by me and what I wanted. It was tough sometimes but I got loads out of it.

My parents were supportive and did their bit (logistics) but they let me decide. Why are you making this decision and not your YP?

At this age I'd let them decide, as long as they were fully aware that as a low income single parent I couldn't afford to contribute anything much in the way of money.

If they are ok with missing out on expensive foreign trips, etc that may be organised then fine.

It sounds a good educational opportunity as long as they are keen to focus on that and to ignore anyone who is a posh dickhead and tries to put them down.

Thank you for your reply.

It will be completely his decision, but I just want to know what to say when he is making his choice.

For example, if he asks me whether he will stand out or feel different, I want to be able to guide him or reassure him.
He isn't a quiet academic boy, he is loud and social.

I don't want it to damage his self esteem.

If he’s a smart boy he won’t ask those questions. Of course he will stand out and be different/ feel different. The question is whether he is resilient enough / confident enough to live with that. There will be some people who will be v accepting and friendly and some who won’t same as any school.

If all the cost was covered, that's one thing, but if it's not, I would guess most people would struggle to afford it-and you don't want to be worrying about having to pull them out.

i work in a private school. We have lots of pupils from different backgrounds. Lots are on part or full bursaries and several are eligible for free school meals.
In sixth form there may be some trips related to his chosen subject but in our school few are compulsory and if they are they would be covered by the bursary.
If he likes the school I wouldn’t let the financial situation put you off.

Thank you for this perspective.

I'm probably overthinking it, I do that a lot. Thankfully he is much more laid back than I am.

Presumably there would be other bursary holders there too?

Yes I would. The crowd you’re friends with shapes your life.

What do you mean if he’s smart he wouldn’t ask those questions? He’s 15/16, he doesn’t have life experience. Nothing to do with intelligence

Seems the movement is the more other way at 6th form. Most of DDs peers at her state academic 6th form are from the local private schools.

Some of this is probably financial since VAT was added. Several of our families saw this as an opportunity to move without too much disruption.

I teach in an academic city day school with a big 6th form- we get about forty students in addition to those who come through from our own school and we have a growing bursary scheme. I’m also a 6th form tutor. Most students fit in really well and we’ve worked hard to ensure they are supported both emotionally and practically. It is a culture shock for some but your son sounds outgoing. A full bursary is a great achievement.

If they wanted to go yes. Also depends on state options.

All three of mine have gone to private school. There are people from all different backgrounds and if they are decent kids from
decent backgrounds, they won’t be judgy.

The difficulties will come from when they want to do social activities together and your DS can’t join in if it’s out of his budget. I mean a friendship group will compromise at times but I think even in adult friendships, some situations can be challenging if you have different budgets.

if he is driven and academically able, he will hopefully make the most of every opportunity available and it will be a really positive experience for him. Don’t underestimate the social capital gained at private school.

I know 4 people who has done this for their less advantaged children. Each child has walked away from the school with solid friendships that has lasted into their mid twenties/early thirties (ages of the children now) in one case the best man was a 6th form friend from very different social background. The guys don't care they are just best friends.

Depends on the school and the alternative option. I'd send an academic child to an academic school, but not all private schools are academic. Locally we have a range of private schools, I would be reluctant to send an academic child to some of them. We also have a range of state sixth form options. Again, some are more suitable for more academic children.

If he doesn’t go then he’s more likely to get into uni with a contextual grades offer. However smaller class sizes will mean it’ll be easier to focus and get better grades.

It really depends how good the sixth form colleges and schools are near you. The classes are usually smaller anyway especially in a more rural school. Not so much in an urban setting.

These DC will have known each other for years but equally they will embrace your DC.