Don't have children - can I still foster?

[rainbowmix]

Hello lovelies,

I recently got married and we've moved in together (rented) in a lovely 2 bed apartment in a very good neighbourhood in Cheshire.

My husband works in finance (he's 31) and I worked (I'm 28) for the NHS (GP Clinic - direct work with adult patients) up until 6 months ago. I might do part time or I might enter another field which would allow me to work directly from home!

We don't have plans for kids of our own yet but have discussed fostering/adoption since the beginning of our relationship (3 years ago).

We have a strong relationship and love and respect each other deeply and we just know that we would be excellent foster parents! We would even go as far as do the whole fostering for free (we aren't doing this for financial reasons and have a good income coming into the house already) as long as we can give back and help a child have a strong loving foundation before they go out into the world. Or perhaps even adopt them (I know this is another process!)

Ideally, we would like to foster a child under 5 years old. (2-5 would be ideal). I don't think we could foster babies as we aren't experienced in the eyes of agencies but given the opportunity, I would jump into it!

We plan to start the process from August onwards so we can finish the training (4-6 months?) and look for a home by the time we are ready. Could I do anything from now to august to prepare us?

After you finish the training process (how are the weeks structured and do I need to be out of work for this) - how long before you can foster a child?

Is it possible for us to foster a child without having children of our own.

I have a 2 x 16 year old siblings and helped my mum in raising them - does this count as experience?

Any advice or any other information worth sharing?

Thank you xx

I believe so but not an expert. Giving you a little bump

Yes of course people with no kids can foster. It’s always worth speaking to your local agency and getting info from them.

It’s understandable that you want a baby/toddler but I would try to be aware that lots of foster/adoptive parents want babies and toddlers and there simply aren’t as many of them so something to consider.

I would also say that as you’ve just got married, don’t have a house yet, don’t know whether you’ll be working or not, it might be worth giving yourselves some time to settle before immediately trying to foster toddlers. It’s not an easy game, lots of people think it’s all sunshine and roses, but it isn’t at all. It might be worth just considering if you have everything settled and sorted before you’re ready to take such a huge step.

Also I would reconsider the ‘working from home’ if you’re planning on fostering babies and toddlers. Will it be possible to foster a toddler who will almost certainly have early trauma and possible difficult behaviours while working successfully from home?

Fostering is paid as it is often the expectation that- especially with younger children- this will be your job and there will always be one of you directly caring for the child.

Yes. I know a couple who successfully foster without their own children. One works full time the other's job is to be there full time for the child. They have lots of appointments with school, social services, doctors etc.

One person has to be fully at home when fostering full time so you won't be able to do part time work.You could apply to be a short break carer to start with so you would only have children at the weekend for respite breaks. It is usually the same children maybe once every three weeks. It is a great was to find out if you are suited to the task before you take on more.

Your situation sounds very similar to mine, me and my other half are the same age as yours and we don't have children either.
We are foster carers, we both work. It really depends on what the child's needs are which is why it's not as straight forward as you "cannot work" or "can work part time" I'm afraid. If you do take the plunge into fostering you may hear the phrase "case by case" a lot! Meaning depending on each child's circumstances.

Fostering younger children a couple of things to think about how you could manage:

• They might be moved on to an adoption family.
• They may be going through court and have lots of family contact as well as professional meetings. Which is why it can be difficult to juggle work and fostering commitments.

I'm new to Mumsnet but if there is a way to private message me if you have any specific questions then feel free!

Yes you can apply.
I used to assess foster carer applicants. You talk about how you would be excellant foster carers - that level of confidence worries me a bit, when children have been through a lot of trauma they may need a whole lot more than just love and boundaries. So just be open minded, expect real challenges and be prepared to learn a lot and change your approach for different children.

I have long wished to be a foster carer at some point, my worry is the risk of being a shit one!