How difficult is it to get into, and are there any major things to consider?

[K8eee]

Dh and I have considered fostering. We haven't any children of our own yet, apart from dss who lives with his mum.

We're just wondering whether it is hard to get into, and the pros and cons.

Any advice would be appreciated!

Bump

Hi, your request is quite broad, is there anything in particular you'd like to know?

Yes, fostering is hard work to get into, as it should be! You will looking after children who are very upset, damaged and vulnerable. It is very different to parenting! They need to make sure you have the skills to cope!

Most Local Authorities fostering teams have open evenings, that might be a good place to start to find out more about it.

What is drawing you towards wanting to be a foster carer?

Thanks. Yeah I don't know where to start to be honest. My dh and I have always said that if we couldn't have our own children, we'd foster. The only thing that does concern me is that, because we'd potentially be taking in 'damaged' children, would our own children be affected by the foster ones. I've met a few foster families and all the kids get along great. We've yet to have children and are currently trying. We want to keep our options open just invade we can't conceive.

It might be worth considering adoption rather than fostering if you are looking for children to build your own family. With fostering, you don't have parental responsibility and are caring for someone else's child.

We had to discuss our plans in terms of having further children, and our social worker said they wouldn't place a child with us if we were going to have another child.

Is there a reason you are considering fostering rather than adoption?

Generally you would not be considered for fostering while ttc. (Same with adoption). If you want a family then adoption would be a better place to start.

Have you considered adoption?

I think you need to put your plans to foster on hold while you are trying to conceive. If you have your own children and then decide to apply to foster, of course the foster children will affect your own children and vice versa, in the sense that we are all affected by others to a greater or lesser extent. I suspect you mean " would your own children be adversely affected by fostered children. The answer is "it depends" but to be brutally frank to be thinking that now, does suggest to me that fostering would be too big a risk for you to take. There are no guarantees in fostering and each child is different and the circumstances of each family are different.

I can see posters are suggesting adoption rather than fostering, but I don't think there is a chance that you would be considered for adoption while you are still trying to have your own children.

I'm sorry if I have this wrong but your phrase "keeping our options open in case we can't conceive" suggests to me that you are thinking more of your own position than a home that you could possibly give to a child who has been ill treated in the past. Maybe it's just unfortunate phrasing.

Websites with a plethora of information are "Fostering Networks" "British Agencies for Fostering & Adoption" (BAAF)