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Fostering

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

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Original poster

Single parent with 3 dd's in 3 bed coulcil house. Would i be considered for fostering

30 replies

fifi25 · 12/05/2011 22:12

I am a single parent with 3 dd's aged between 2 and 9. I have always thought about fostering/adopting even before i had the kids. I have read threads on her regarding the process and i dont think i would be allowed to under the circumstances. My dd's have a good relationship with their dad and his family. I would like an older child maybe 8/9, primary age. Am i just wasting my time starting the process?

OP posts:

ChristinedePizan · 12/05/2011 22:13

I'm pretty sure that a foster child needs their own room so I don't think you'd have the space really.

Original poster

fifi25 · 12/05/2011 22:24

Thats what i thought, its a shame really as got brought up in the same house with 3 younger brothers who shared a room. I dont think i would pass tbh, i was just curious.

OP posts:

ChristinedePizan · 12/05/2011 22:36

A lot of children who go into foster care have enormous emotional difficulties so it's really important that they have their own space although I can understand that must be frustrating.

LaurieFairyCake · 12/05/2011 22:39

They definitely must have their own room, it would also be for your childrens protection too.

Its a definite. Could you convert your loft and put one of yours up there?

Original poster

fifi25 · 12/05/2011 22:46

I could put my 3 in together, They sleep in one room on a triple bunk anyway as they like being in one room. Obviously i dont know how this would work when they are older. I cant convert loft unfortunately as the roofs too low. I really want to do it at some point so i will probably have to wait till mine leave home or i win the lottery and can buy a bigger house.

OP posts:

maypole1 · 13/05/2011 17:37

you can do babies children under 2 have to sleep in the same room as foster carer

we have about 5 fc who just do babies in my la

mumsiepie · 13/05/2011 22:48

We have carers that do babies too. No harm in asking is there! In our la they like 2 years difference between ages of foster children and your own. Let us know what they say if you do ask! Good luck.

mumsiepie · 13/05/2011 22:49

Just read that you would like an older child so asking about babies is not very helpful....sorry!

Original poster

fifi25 · 13/05/2011 23:03

Thanks. I thought maybe older as i keep reading that this is whats needed and i think the kids would get really attached to a baby. I think with an older child it would be easier to explain whats going on and we are looking after them etc. TBH i dont think i really have a chance. My dd's 9,7,2 so with the 2 year gap i dont think it would work .

OP posts:

mumsiepie · 13/05/2011 23:13

Still its worth asking!

edam · 13/05/2011 23:17

fifi, many councils will priorities foster carers for larger housing. Worth seeing if yours has this policy. There is a serious shortage of foster carers so many councils think it is worth giving people the extra bedroom that they need to become carers. Do check and see whether this might apply to you.

QueentessentialExcel · 13/05/2011 23:20

Very often with fostering, especially when fostering older children there will not want there to be younger siblings in the household.

Although, I understand the "income" is good, I doubt you would be considered unless they were really desperate.

Original poster

fifi25 · 13/05/2011 23:26

Edam Ive thought about it for years then just think no i wont be able to do it. I think i might try and see what they say. I dont think i would move though as my kids love it here and all their friends live next to me. I think its something i will do once my family have flown the nest

OP posts:

Original poster

fifi25 · 13/05/2011 23:58

Queen ive just read your post again and cant understand how your have come to the conclusion they would have to be desperate? Why because i have 3 children?

OP posts:

QueentessentialExcel · 14/05/2011 07:59

Fifi, I was also looking into fostering. But I found that in most cases with older children, 8 and up, they said specifically there should not be any younger siblings in the house. Possibly because older children needing a foster carer can be quite demanding. Your children are young-ish, and a baby, albeit an "older" baby.

SilveryMoon · 14/05/2011 08:04

My dp wants to look into fostering.
We live in a 2 bed flat. We have 2 ds's who share a room.
I told him they wouldn't consider us because we don't have the room. He wants to look into just having babies so they can sleep in our room.
I'd love to do it and would def look into it if we had more room.
Still not sure they'd consider us for babies.

mumsiepie · 14/05/2011 08:36

It's good for babies to have big children around. Your room is where a baby should sleep anyway. Go for it!!

Not all older children are very badly damaged. I wonder Queen did you contact an agency or the LA? An agency would be much more likely to say there shouldn't be younger children. Our LA wouldn't say that but they would obviously be very careful with the matching.

Good luck to you

SilveryMoon · 14/05/2011 09:02

My ds's are 3.8 and 2.3yrs.
A friend of mine has applied to become a foster family. They have 2 spare bedrooms a massive garden.
I mentioned that I didn't think they 'give' children that are older than your own.

I might look on our LA website about fostering babies.

Original poster

fifi25 · 14/05/2011 10:40

Thanks for the replies everyone. I have decided i am going to do some proper research and maybe start the ball rolling. I know its a lengthly process and my youngest starts nursery in Sept so its about the right time to do it. They can only say no

OP posts:

Minnerva · 14/05/2011 11:22

I think that's absolutely the right attitude fifi-at the end of the day all la's need foster carers and if you are perfect for the job they may consider you or they may not.

But if you don't start the ball rolling you'll never know!.

Good luck and let us know what happens.xx :)

studyingsleuth · 23/05/2011 15:50

Silvery et all Not all LA's accept babies sleeping with foster carers in the same room - policies can vary, so I suggest you do check.

Most will say there should be a two year age gap with your youngest, but if you want to foster an older child advice can vary again.
Its often inconsistent between areas, which can be frustrating!

mumsiepie · 23/05/2011 19:28

It is a shame if LA's don't allow babies in carer's bedrooms as that's where it's recommended they sleep until 6 months of age. Maybe agencies have that rule and they rarely have newborns.

fishtankneedscleaning · 23/05/2011 20:46

Our LA stipulate that babies can sleep in FC's room until 12 months. Then they have to move to their own room. Bearing in mind that it takes approx 2 years for the Court process to free a child for adoption these days a spare bedroom will be needed.

We had a FC child who came to us as a newborn. She was with us until she was 6! Short term fostering can mean anything from a one night placement to a placement until the child leaves care tbh, even though short term is described as up to two years.

loiner45 · 24/05/2011 11:41

from birth to 6! how do you cope with them going after all that time? how do they cope?
I'm considering FC at the moment and weighing up all of the options - I'm not sure I could deal with having a child from newborn to 6 then 'losing them' - did she go on to be adopted? back to birth family?

fishtankneedscleaning · 24/05/2011 15:07

Loiner45. She was adopted - by us!

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