DH deploys for 7 months leaving me pregnant and coping with toddler!

[kikitgoing]

Hi,

Im new to this message board, but just had to vent! DH is deploying in September leaving DD (aged 2yrs 3mnths at this time) and me with 3mnths to go to birth of new baby. Latest news is that Navy suspect he will not make it home from 'manoevres' for birth period.

I am seriously worried about how I organise a new baby into my toddlers life without sleep or the assistance of any significant other. Family assistance DH's side non existent... on my side - possible but patchy.

Any advice from those already done it and survived - are you still sane?

thanks

Not in forces, but are there any military assistance groups?

DD is 3 in July, and DS is 14 months, so a fairly close gap. Found that I really needed help with cleaning, housework and on those days when I couldn't get out of the house, someone to take toddler out to playground/out for cake/to a friends house...

Did you find DD adjusted reasonably well to new baby? Im mostly concerned about how to juggle night feeds with toddler who is resolutely awake at 6 - 6.30am every day.

Good idea about getting people to take toddler out - maybe I can try and ask people to commit to a weekly time to help me get organised.

Homestart?
DH in RAF, not Navy and I ahve found them to be quite accomodating if they have to be. You could try SSAFFA, see what they have to say

Where is he deploying to?

My DH is deploying in September and we were planning to TTC just before he went, he asked his CO if he'd be able to make it home for the birth and he said they'd do whatever they could. Anyway we've decided not to try for another baby, but my point is, they do try to be accommodating when it comes to things like this.

In the meantime phone NPFS and see what they say, they can help with things like that, home help type stuff in extreme circumstances.

If the worst happens and he can't come home, you'll find you slip into a routine quite easily and you just get on with it. DH left me with a 2 week old DD last year for 4 months, it was hard at first, but it really does get easier.

Good luck.

The RN winched my DH off the top of a submarine to get him home to Devonport via helicopter and all points south of Stornoway when ds was born in 1995. They help when they can.

Where is he going to be? My DH was flown back from the Gulf for his paternity leave when ds was born (18mths ago) as were a couple of the other dads on that trip, so it shouldn't be outwith the realms of possibilty. he did have to go back after a fortnight, leaving me with a not-quite-2wk old baby, a 4 year old and a 2 1/2 yr old (not to mention 2 dogs that need lots of exercise) I did wobble a bit, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be! Good luck!

awww hun cant help as im not on base so wouldnt know where to start asking services for help

hubs is navy too and he went away for 3mths, 2 weeks after our twins were born (but at least he was there when they were born) leaving me with 2 newborns and ds who was 2 months off being 3 yrs old @ the time,i wont pretend its easy but u do manage coz lets face it u have too

im lucky that my mil is 5 mins away @ other end of our village (we dont live in mq as i chose to stay in chester hubs commutes)as i dont know how i would have got ds1 to playschool some days lol but you will manage just get yourself into a routine and if a friend offers help snap thier hands off woth any luck tho he will make the birth and may get a few weeks leave if your lucky

Hi ya kikitgoing - I am currently in the middle of a seven month deployment with the navy and my dh left me with a 8 week old, 19month and a 4yr old!! I had to juggle all this and I am proof it can be done..

I still have 5 weeks left to go and I really do think that this trip is too long for people that have children but am happy to talk to you whenever you need some help...

What about getting the toddler in to some kind of nursery for one day a week to give you a break and well earned rest!!!

I am sure you will be fine, good luck!!!!

I found returning to work when the children were 2 weeks old kept me sane and ensured I had help with the children and had that break every day whilst at full time work.