My mother obsessed by DD's eating

[sweetkitty]

DD is nearly 9 months and is eating not too bad. The problem is my mother is obsessed by shoving food down her, luckily we very rarely see her but are moving closer to her soon.

She is of the old school give them everything brigade. Today I told her DD loves cheesy mash and she started telling me to put corned beef in it! I have worked in the food industry and know exactly what corned beef is and would never feed it to DD. Then she starts telling me to put all sorts in her mash!! She also told me to tell DD that she will feed her properly when she looks after her. I'm dreading that as she will fill her full of chocolate buttons and cheesy wotsits!

Dp just laughs when I tell him this and says I don't know anyone who knows as much about food as you and I know you think about every morsel that DD has so tell her to shut up. She also told me to get DD drinking milk I said she drinks breastmilk 5-6 times a day and she said I meant proper milk! I know I shouldn't listen to her and trust myself but it annoys me so much that my mother thinks I do not feed my daughter properly!!

"proper milk"?!? What are you giving her then, improper milk?

It's really hard dealing with people who are sure they know best, what you should give your kids. If your mother is going to take care of your DD regularly, you're going to have to sort this out ...

I know my MIL thinks I deprive my boys, by not giving them more sweets, but she's relaxed over time, and although she gives DS1 more sweets than I'd give, it's generally things like home-made jelly, or mango ice cream, rather than out and out sugar.

if you are going to be asking your mother to look after dd, do what i do and leave food in the fridge that is labelled 'breakfast' mid afternoon bottle' etc and give her a list of everything dd does during the day inc the obvious like times for meals and naps. tell her if she doesnt stick to this dd will get upset cos she likes her routines, and it will a nightmare for you when you take over again (even if this isnt true)

your mum will be so terrified of you phoning her the next day to say you were up all night or whatever, hopefully she will stick to it

i sellotape my list for my mum on the fridge

i do it in a kind of jokey way, so as to try and not offend my mum, and she seems to understand.

my mum is guilty of giving dd's enormous portions, and believes they should eat/drink every drop, when i dont mind if htey dont

also, give her a copy of annabel karmel or another one you favour and ask her, since she is such a fantastic cook, would she mind making batches of the stuff you have asterisked in the book, so you can freeze for dd?

I know what you mean. I'm always getting advice on what and how I should feed dss.

Ds1 always cried when he saw new people and one aunt was convinced that he was permanently hungry and that I (not much cleavage) couldn't possibly be producing enough milk, even though his weight gain was on target. Everyone of the older generation ( besides my mum, bless her) feels that they MUST let you know where you're going wrong. I just hope we all never become like that!

You're not alone but I'm not sure I have much advice. We're having the outlaws (all of them inc kids-eek) over at the weekend and one of the things I'm dreading the most is mil fussing endlessly over what ds3 (15m) is going to be eating/how much he left/why he left it as he's had it before, etc, etc. She gets in such a state it drives us bonkers. Err, does she think I'll forget to feed him without her constant reminders? Dh and I've decided he can eat before they all arrive, play for a bit and be fussed over, and then have his nap. Granny won't be allowed to get him all agitated over his food!