Best cheat cake ideas - I have a week left to get my arse in gear!!! Hello me please!

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Special birthday coming up.
I don't want to cook a cake - I won't have time with split shifts so I'm looking for easy cheat wow cake ideas.

I'm honestly talking about something that either doesn't involve cooking myself or a wow fridge bake cake recipe or just something that says WoW that doesn't require me cooking it.

Can have candles and all that shoved in.
Cupcakes won't cut it so it needs to be a cake of some kind.

I'm not going to discuss why I'm not cooking one - I'm stressed and tired from working rotating split shifts in a high pressured job and I know I sound like I don't care but I cba to cook a cake. Simple.

Can I buy a cake or do a fridge cake that says WoW or do I need to pay for a blinking cake to be made?

I was thinking buy a cake then decorate it with chocolates.

Any ideas very welcome.

I had a friend who used to buy an iced square cake, order an edible topper using a photo of the birthday person, then cover the rest of the cake in smarties. Obviously more of a child thing but God it looked fantastic. Took a lot of smarties.

I do think a personalised edible cake topper would be a good shout.

Absolutely you can buy one and decorate it!

M&S or M&S at Ocado have got some nice birthday cakes for around £15. What age is it for and how many people do you need to serve?
You can dress it up with candles, indoor sparklers, balloons tied to the table etc.

No bake cheesecake? Nigella's Nutella Cheesecake takes minutes to make and tastes delicious: www.nigella.com/recipes/nutella-cheesecake

Best friends 40th but she won't mind something quirky. I love her to bits I just do not have the time or energy to get it perfect myself. All great ideas so far. I also saw a cake that was round and had chocolate fingers all around it and some other stuff and it looked great but I can't for the life of me remember where from.
She hates photos of herself so no photo cake unfortunately.
Back to the drawing board thanks for the suggestions so far everyone....

Have you got a local Costco? They do personalised birthday cakes to order with 48 hours notice, order on line then collect from store. They’ve quite a few different designs to choose from, again at about £15.

Here's one with the chocolate fingers.

Buy a cake the size you want plus a cake board plus a pot of ready made icing from supermarket.

Take layers apart, add in extra icing between layers and round the side, messy is fine, reassemble on cake board.

Stick chocolate fingers round the side and chocolate buttons / m&ms/ smarties all over the top.

Add a big ribbon if feeling extra fancy.

Ta-dah! 

And with the pic!

And Pinterest is always best for this kind of thing - search simple cake decorating ideas.

I don't know if this would be your friend's cup of tea, but my friend had a cheese cake recently- by which I mean 3 cheese rounds of different sizes stacked on top of each other in tiers. Completely delicious if you are into cheese - although clearly unsuitable if what you really want is cake.