Fussy family forever hungry

[Knickersononeshead]

Have 3 DC (4 including SS at the weekends) plus DH who is a 'freezer shit' food addict and the only real homemade things he'll eat are roast dinners and cottage pie

DD11 - will eat absolutely anything.

DS10 - fussy but will eat more than DD5 (nothing with sauce, no veg, nothing mixed no sausages etc) would live on crap basically.

DD5 - survives on:
pasta/spaghetti, either with cheese or plain.
Cheese or chocolate spread wrap
Chicken nuggets
Curry and rice. That's literally it. She will eat chicken and dry Yorkshire puds if I'm doing a roast.

I'm really struggling with having to make at least 3 separate meals every day to make sure everyone is eating enough. It's also costing a fortune.

DD5 is constantly saying she is hungry but refuses to eat anything.

SS - same as DH and DS - freezer food.

I have done the whole, everyone eats this or gets nothing. It really hasn't worked.
DH ends up cooking himself something more often than not because I'm fed up cooking freezer crap all the time.

I don't even know where to begin anymore. The only time I only have to cook one meal for the whole family is if I do a roast dinner

I also think being 7 months pregnant and in this heat isn't helping the situation as the more I think about what to make for lunch and tea the more stressed I'm getting.

Watching with interest!

I did ask each child to give me 5 meals that they will eat and try and make common ground.

For example, Monday is pasta night. Some kids just have it plain with cheese, or I have some meat sauce and some veggie sauce which is frozen into portions, so can defrost for those that will eat it.

Tuesday is rice night. So, curry and rice or just veggies and rice, or fried rice.

Wednesday is potato night. Something like burgers and chips or omelette and chips with side veggies.

Thursday is either rice again or noodles.

Friday is wraps or bread-based, pizza or rolls and soup or something.

Saturday and Sunday, I try something new. Or whatever I feel like cooking or we eat out.

Lunch is leftovers or whatever people will eat.

Not great, but maybe it will give you some ideas.

God you poor thing, if you’re 7 months pregnant than the fact your feeding them anything hot at the mo is commendable.
I guess maybe the only tolerable solution would be to cook a regular kind of menu but serve things in their component part if possible. Throwing in optional zero effort protein, carb, veg options as needed (cheese, ham, boiled egg, bread, cherry toms, cold sweetcorn etc) if dh won’t eat it then he sorts himself.
So for example you decide it’s tuna pasta bake, they can have any of the ingredients on their own (tuna, pasta, sweetcorn) or the bake or it’s zero effort stuff listed above.
Next day you make home made breaded chicken, wedges peas an£ broccoli or options of zero effort stuff
Next day do the same with curry, rice, popadoms, option of plain chicken.
Fajitas or plain chicken, raw veg, wrap, cheese etc
Home made pizza or you can bake dough for fussies plain and they can have any of the toppings cold.
Lasagne garlic bread and salad, if they don’t like it can eat the mince browned on its own salad and garlic bread or zero effort.
Etc etc, I know it’s not ideal but hopefully will make your options better. If you make anything that can be frozen do, chilli, curry, bolognaise.
If you get worried about what the fussiest is eating maybe do nuggets for lunch one day But preserve family meal times as one main dish or zero effort.

Watching this one cos my 5 yr old ds is also fussy, plain eater, no sauces and things like beans or spagetti has to be in bowl and not on plate with sausages etc🙄😒 he also whinges on about being hungry when it gets to bed time. Every. Fucking. Night.
I havent time to make several diff meals and wont be pandering to him either anymore. Some new ideas welcome.

I have done the whole, everyone eats this or gets nothing. It really hasn't worked.

When you say this, what happened? I assume the picky ones threw a tantrum and went to bed hungry? How long did you keep it up? I assume DH didn't back you up either, it's really undermining you if the kids see him going to the freezer for nuggets and chips while they are refusing veggie pasta. What happens if he cooks for a week?

We did the "you have to try three bites" thing, both DSs figured out within a week (they both went through this phase round about 5) that they should just try their dinner before rejecting and surprise surprise they mostly liked it. Lots of tears and screaming tantrums and we had to be ironclad about the three bites, but they are champion eaters now. Both NT though, if that is relevant.

You need to get your husband on board or I would leave him to cook for himself and his own child separately to you.

10, assuming they have no additional needs should be capable of understanding that their diet is unhealthy, they are also old enough to not make a fuss if faced with food they are not familiar with.

A big rule in my house is we don't announce foods we dislike. Nobody had to eat anything they don't want to but I won't have them saying "eeeewwww" over something I've spent time cooking.

Set the table nicely, mine love a candlelit dinner!
I would put out food in dishes, try and make sure there's something on the table they will eat even if it's just bread and butter. Tell them to help themselves and just ignore what they're eating. Chat about anything but the food.
I find the more fuss made over eating or not eating the worse the general experience.
You really need to keep on with it though. These habits weren't developed over night and won't disappear overnight. It will be harder too if your husband won't change his behaviour.

I agree with others that have said your husband is a major issue here. Any adult should be able to eat healthy foods that aren't necessarily their favourite thing purely because they are healthy, and it is very irresponsible as a parent to set the example that you shouldn't have to. It's equally irresponsible to display ingratitude and routinely moan about and reject meals in front of kids who are prone to doing this at the best times and need to be taught it is rude.

At 10, it's just bad manners to be this fussy, he should know better and can cope with the consequences of going to bed hungry if he is rude.

But I would honestly say that since you are 7 months pregnant and the problems are coming from the terrible example your husband is setting, then he should do the cooking and deal with the complaints.

Your 5 year old is IDENTICAL to mine.

Pasta with cheese.
Cheese or chocolate spread wrap.
Curry and rice.
Chicken nuggets.

My other 2 eat anything I put in front of them. But the 5 year old is always moaning she's hungry!

I see other kids eating fruit and veg and feel so sad. And packed lunches at school are an absolute nightmare.

No help but here in solidarity!

notso gives really good advice, that worked for us with 2 very fussy eaters, ages 4&5.

Put it all on the table in serving dishes, eat it or don’t eat it.

Don’t make a fuss and don’t offer anything else.

I’ve had almost 5 years of fussy eating and never thought I’d be the one giving advice on this but it did work.

Not immediately and you may need to persevere for a bit.

I would suggest nipping this in the bud. Your dp needs to grow up, he's eating himself to an early grave - then make one meal and everyone eats it but can leave bits they don't like. Can I suggest starting with chicken bake - chicken thighs, new potatoes halved, peppers, red onions and butternut squash drizzled with oil & a few cumin seeds bake for 50 mins, drizzle with honey bake 10 more mins. I serve with salad but peas work as well.

I serve pasta with a choice of two sauces sometimes, surely your dp eats pasta?

Make curry and rice, easy for big numbers

OP, My eldest is a variation on your kids (no meat except chicken, no onion, no sauces) and my DH won't eat plain meals so we all eat the same as far as we can so wants to make his own. We also have one veggie / one meat eating adult who like very different veggie options. Sigh.

We do tinned soup and bread one night, for speed. DS will eat bread dipped in soup, but not the soup itself and moans about it. I don't care. I also used to do a baked potato night as it cooked whilst we did swimming lessons then everyone had different fillings. Following this in the hope of a miracle. I had dreams before we had kids of everyone having lamb roast dinners and chilli, like I did when I was a kid. DH is now veggie and moans about meat in the fridge and DS not finishing any meat on his plate. DS won't eat lamb or mince, unless it's tinned bolognese.

No help but my Brother who does all the cooking in his place had to deal with fussy eaters. I said in his place I would just chuck a bar of chocolate at them. No helpful I know, nor healthy!!!