Cooking for sdil with Hyperemesis

[Babysharkdoodoodoodo]

Hi,
Sds, sdil and toddler are coming for a week before Xmas. She's really suffering with morning (all day) sickness and is currently surviving on soup. She super fussy anyway about food, hardly any veggies and no spices. So I'm really struggling with food ideas. I get the Morrisons fresh soups for my lunch anyway, so would it be reasonable to get a few in just for her?

I feel guilty for not cooking specially for her but I don't get home from work until around 6pm and tbh I can't be arsed with faffing around cooking multiple meals after a stressful day. It's bad enough having guests for over a week when I get up for 5.30am anyway. (Sorry just stressing and venting, I do like them all really) I just don't want to be faced with the nose wrinkle again, when I've just spent the best part of an hour or so cooking. Last time it was picking the kidney beans out of the chili, and being told she didn't like peas after I made a lovely pea and ham soup. I keep asking about like and dislikes and getting vague answers. It's generally driving me mental.

I guess what I'm asking is what bland , tummy friendly, easy to cook recipes are there? Whilst I cook normally for the rest of us?

My experience of hypermesis is that I would only be able to eat one or two things for several weeks and then, just as quickly, I would go off that food and not be able to even face looking at it let alone eating it. I guess vomiting it up many times a day does that to you.

But it does sound like you don’t really want them there? Wouldn’t it be better to be honest about that? Nothing worse than being a guest and slowly realising your presence is resented. Well, there is probably one thing worse - realising you are an unwanted guest when you are desperately unwell with hypermesis.

Be aware as well that she may struggle with strong smells (or indeed even mild smells)

When I had hyperemesis what I could eat varied from day to day. Absolute no's where anything spicy, anything with ginger (it burns when you vomit it back up) no spaghetti/noodles (get stuck when you vomit them back up -other shaped pasta is fine).
I absolutely could not think/talk about food so that may be why you're not getting a response.
Does she actually want to come? When I had HG I would of wanted to be at home with no pressure on me knowing I was near a hospital I knew. A lot of women with HG also wet themselves when they vomit - really awful for her to manage as a guest.
I'd politely give her the opportunity to opt out of coming, if she does want to come have a variety of bland food in and ask if she wants to bring whatever her current safe foods are. If that's soup for a week, fine.

Poor thing. I just wanted marmite on toast for the Christmases I was pregnant. Fortunately, nobody made a fuss and just let me get on with it.

Just ask her.

Oh sorry, you have. Just let her and DS sort themselves out maybe?

Maybe she'll take a big dose of Ondansetron half an hour before Christmas lunch and want to eat everything??

That's what seems to work for me 😂

Chicken soup if she doesn't like veg? Not sure of a recipe for it, but you can buy the Knorr cartons of chicken soup which resemble homemade.

Whenever I'm ill, I eat oxtail soup (from a packet - again Knorr I think).
You have to stir for about five minutes until it comes to the boil, then you just leave it to simmer for 5 minutes.
It's very good for a sick stomach.

Ask her what soups she's eating now and just buy those in? I very much doubt with hyperemesis that she's home cooking, so just buy her favourite ones.

And I feel sorry for her the poor thing. Make sure your bathrooms are stocked with cleaning wipes, tissues, loo roll and toilet cleaner.

Also a lot of people swear by ginger biscuits, so get a stock of them in. And whatever fluids she can tolerate, be that Coke, Tonic Water, 7 Up, Fanta etc.
I had an illness which caused me to vomit daily for about 9 months (I'm a man so it was not hyperemesis), so I know the torture of feeling ill.

I'm sure you mean well but please don't suggest ginger biscuits for hyperemesis. It's a serious medical condition that needs medical management and not something that will be fixed by a biscuit. It's insulting to suggest it. And ginger burns like fuck when you vomit it up again.

You need to check with her. She may only be able to tolerate small amounts of bland food.
I'm surprised she's out and about with hyperemesis tbh, it's debilitating. Maybe her medication allows her to go out and eat.

Rainbow, chill, I wasn't suggesting force feeding her them!

The simplest thing op is to ask her for a list of what foods she's tolerating now and buy them in for her. I would not attempt really to try to preempt what may may not make her vomit. I'd be going on what she knows she can tolerate. Same with drinks. Water on its own can induce vomit albeit something nicer to vomit than food, so she might be tolerating coke at the moment or something.
Just ask her.

Buy some of those juicy water lemon flavoured drinks. They are brilliant for dealing with nausea.

HG is so deeply personal that there isn’t any advice anyone can really give about what’s good/not good. (I agree not to suggest ginger. You hear it all the bloody time. I had it from a midwife once - have you tried ginger biscuits? - when I was being sick 20-30 times a day.)

Ask your stepson what she can currently stomach shortly before they arrive, and try to minimise cooking smells if possible.

I’m impressed she’s coming at all.

I would also ask her if there is any particular cooking smell that induces vomit and avoid cooking that while she's there.
She's a brave lady trying to get on with things while vomiting.
During my treatment, I never left the house as I couldn't depend on not just spewing everywhere in front of people.

@NeverTwerkNaked Not at all. I love having them to stay, especially the little one. It's just a stressful time of year in my job and having guests just adds to it. I just don't want to get it wrong again.

They can't go home or use the nhs as they are ex-pats and just coming over for an extended Christmas visit. They're only here for a week though so I'll just try to get to bed earlier or I'll be on fumes by the time Xmas week rolls around.

Trouble is with the no pungent fumes is that just about all my cooking relies on spices. I'm not good at bland. I guess I could always pop a chicken breast or a pork chop in the oven whilst I'm doing the rest and give her some boiled pots to go with it. Or some basic pasta with cheese?

Nope, not going to chill, though I truly appreciate the advice from someone who has never &will never experience HG. Advice such as ginger biscuits will help is an old wives tales & is actively harmful to women as it can delay appropriate treatment. I make no apology for challenging it.

I still can't even cope with the smell of ginger given the amount of it that l foolishly tried... The only thing l coped with was croissants - light and easy to throw up, hairbo (other jelly sweets are available...) And toast with scraping of butter then soy sauce- always wondered if body was craving salts given that l was throwing up 20+ times a day! Your poor sil, l spent most of my pg in hospital as HG had me so ill!

Only she can answer this really. It's different for every woman. Could you perhaps ask her to write a little shopping list so you can get things she likes?

When I had HG the foods I could manage varied. Once I'd found something that stayed down I'd stick with it for a little while before that became a no-no, then I'd have to find something else. Other times I'd suddenly really need to eat a certain food immediately 😂 not always with success unfortunately!

Totally agree with regards to smells. My children are now 9 and 6. There was a pasta dish my OH ate during my first pregnancy and even now I can't cope with the smell!

@Thedukes it’s pretty much the worst thing you can say to someone with hyperemesis. Ginger does nothing (expect make the vomiting more painful). I was vomiting blood I had torn my throat from so much vomiting. Believe me, it makes people who have had hypermesis feel violent when those who haven’t suffered it suggest idiotic cures like ginger biscuits. It’s the medical equivalent of suggesting a drink of hot water and lemon to someone with pneumonia.

I'm 18 weeks pregnant and my HG is only just starting to ease. I really really feel for her it's awful, especially having to stay at someone's house for a whole week. I have been practically housebound since September so it may be really hard for her. Don't be surprised (or offended!) if she spends a lot of time in bed. You'll have to ask her/her partner what she wants to eat as its so specific to each person. This may even change by Christmas. I find it a bit easier for someone else to cook and definitely can't cook anything due to food smells

I lived off cheap ice lollies. I couldn't drink fluids as it's come back up, food was awful but these were a happy medium. Any smells made me sick.

I'd ask her, if she isn't forthcoming tell her when you have planned so she can sort herself out.

It’s the medical equivalent of suggesting a drink of hot water and lemon to someone with pneumonia.

^This is so true!

OP, please don’t ‘get a stock’ of ginger biscuits in as suggested by pp.
HG is so individual and what you can/want to eat can change daily. The best thing you can do is just let her eat what she wants, when she wants and don’t make a big fuss over it if she can’t eat at the normal meal times or be in the same room for meals as smells can really affect HG.
Please don’t suggest ginger biscuits/ginger lollipops/ginger in hot water etc to her! If ginger works for her then I’m sure she’ll let you know but otherwise don’t mention it