Impressive cake recipes required please

[YesThisIsMe]

I have found myself in a situation where I need to bake a cake for a competition. As someone who is known to be a keen baker I have a reputation to uphold. Unfortunately the type of baker I am is the sort who says "oh that looks easy I'll try that" and, most often "oh never mind I'm sure it will taste OK". Minute attention to detail and decorative flair are not my forte. But what the hell, I'm going to break the habit of a lifetime and make an impressive cake for actual grown ups rather than undemanding four year olds.

Can any of you ingenious baking types recommend me a cake which is
A) impressive
B) delicious
C) can be made by someone who is a bit of a klutz
D) can be carried for long distances on the bus without collapsing or giving anyone food poisoning

On the plus side, I have all the normal kit and enough time and money to go out and buy any ingredients required.

Consider yourselves challenged (I realise the bus thing is tricky). Photos of your creations would be an added bonus. Thanks in advance

This was surprisingly easy - honey layer cake.

Thanks Jenny. Looks good, and flat and robust for transport, and a quick Google suggests that each of the layers only takes a few minutes so I should have time to bake it on a work night, but if it has cream in it I might not be able to keep it cool.

Do an Italian meringue butter cream and maybe a curd? Or creme pat?

Never actually done creme pat because I loathe it, but Italian meringue might be doable. I think the theory with honey cake is that the cream soaks into it though, and I'm not sure butter cream etc would do that.

This is the recipe I used for the Russian honey cake - natashaskitchen.com/2014/03/09/8-layer-honey-cake-recipe-medovik/ - I used Smietana sour cream which I found in Tesco which I understand is more authentic than normal sour cream. You are right that the cream soaks into the biscuit layers (it's not really a cake in that respect I guess) to make it soft. The cream ends up being a bit like cream cheese frosting on carrot cake IYKWIM. It might be OK for a few hours outside a fridge. It was really lovely and I'd definitely make it again, but maybe too risky to transport.

Last call for suggestions plz otherwise I will be forced to do my own Googling

Rhubarb and custard cake

Oh that does look both impressive and transportable. All I have to do is get over my lifelong loathing of both rhubarb and custard...

Delish

I've made this raspberry and bakewell cake a few times and it was lovely.
www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/11695/raspberry-bakewell-cake
In fact, I think I might make it again this week.

I would suggest Nigella's clementine cake, covered with a very thin layer of dark chocolate. You can then add to the choc layer with some fancy bits like organge zest, crystallised orange peel etc.

It's a robust cake and absolutely delicious. And looks fab if you can get the molten choc to be smooth.....

I'm ruling out the bakewell for the sale on the entirely personal grounds that if I bake it I will need to eat it all myself. But another time....

Caramel ombré and clementine both look brilliant though thank you - I love cakes with yoghurt in them because even I can't mess them up. I think I'll see how much time I've got on the day and chose accordingly.

The chocolate and caramel cake keeps really well. Last time I made it I did the layers a couple of days before and wrapped them in baking parchment and cling film in an air tight tin. The yoghurt is a saving grace!

Mary Berry's chocolate orange cake is foolproof and looks very impressive.
I also like Richardfrom GBBO Lemon Poppy Seed. These meet the bus criteria!

Betty Crocker is your friend.
Chocolate devil cake with fudge icing.

I like Nigella's chocolate honey bee cake, it is very easy to do the bee decorations and it looks great:

www.nigella.com/recipes/honey-chocolate-cake

Is it a sale or competition? Cupcakes good if it's a sale.

Lorraine Pascal's "I can't believe you made that" cake Link here. The cigarrillos are extortionate and only available online but you could possibly stretch to use chocolate fingers or matchmakers?

It's a competition - I can do bakesales standing on my head but this is a proper Bake Off style thing and my decorating skills are negligible, so I'm looking for something where you just follow the instructions mechanically and it looks great, rather than requiring any skill or finesse or artistic talent.

Here's a link to JolliBob's substance abusing hedgehog cake both to brighten your morning and to indicate the kind of thing that would happen if I was asked to use artistic judgement.

(Warning: do not read this thread on public transport, you will get Looks and possibly concerned little old ladies asking you why you're crying dear).

https://www.craftsy.com/blog/2016/05/cupcake-bouquet/?crlinkid=PinteresttCakeOPPBLOG&crrmaid=89991&regMessageId=21&crsource=Pinterest&crrmedium=Social%20Engagement

Piping a cupcake to look like a rose/carnation for example, would definitely come under the heading of "requires artistic skill".

Did I see the scary hedgehog on An Extra Slice the other week or is it just a false-memory induced nightmare from your thread in April?!

What did you bake in the end, op??

I did the caramel ombre cake. Looked great, (I don't have a picture with the ombre interior unfortunately), had texture of car tyres and tasted shit. Won second prize which shows the calibre of the judging.

But it did look sooooo pretty, so I think I'm going to have another go with a foolproof Annabel Karmel recipe as the base.