A fussy two-year-old and a (small) success story

[NotQuiteCockney]

For the last year or so, my DS2 has been quite difficult about food. He will eat plain carb. He will eat cake etc. He will eat fruit. He will eat some meet. But he does his level best to not eat vegetables.

But over the last month or so, he's started to climb his step ladder in the kitchen, and eat raw ingredients. He now likes raw carrot, and red pepper, cooked or raw. He likes tofu now, too.

And the other day he put some lettuce in his mouth! Ok, he spat it back out and said 'yucky!', but I don't think he's put lettuce in his mouth before. And he finally understood me when I said 'you need to eat some more pasta to have dessert', and he ate the pasta!

This is a great relief to me, because he's been wearing me out. I know he's quite a good eater for a two-year-old, but I'm sure his brother was better.

I've just been ignoring how much it annoys me, offering lots of food, letting him have bread with meals (to dip in things, like pasta ), and just keeping cool.

you give me hope! dd is the same, as your ds WAS. good luck, hope it continues.

Tell me how you've done it because I've got a 16mth old who has started being really fussy and I'm losing patience!

Just stay calm. Offer a normal range of food. Don't rise to fuss, if you can. If a toddler skips a meal, it's not going to kill them.

Oh, and have an older child who you've already trained to eat very well. (To be fair, his brother only started eating and enjoying salads etc after he turned three, and I started the 'you must taste everything' regime. That helped a lot.)

Yay. Kudos to you and small cute person

My older child is now 7 and so she's at the ugh, that's disgusting stage! She is getting better though and will try everything once (as long as she can spit it straight out if it's awful!). She tries to get her brother to eat by sharing his dinner and letting him feed her (sometimes it helps). It does make it easier if he eats what we have because I haven't gone out of my way to make him a special meal that he wastes and we do try to sit down and eat as a family a couple of times a week at least. I find it so upsetting though (although I don't let him see that) because he was such a good eater until recently.

I'm afraid that if my five-year-old said 'that's disgusting' he would be sent down from the table. I'm a bit strict about that sort of thing. He's allowed to not like the food, and he does say 'I don't like that' or 'that doesn't look nice (but I will try it)'. But spitting out, making a fuss, and being rude about the food just isn't allowed in our house.

(And yes, Frances, I would apply the same rule to guests. :-P )

She doesn't say it about my cooking - I get only praise for that (and I hear her tell her friends about how great I am at cooking too which makes me smile!) but if we are at the supermarket and I get her to help with the shopping she sneers at most veg (so we buy them and she tries them and she usually spits it out - politely into a tissue!). She will try things though and she knows that nearly everything she eats has veg hidden in it. Last time a friend came for tea she told her there were courgettes, celery, carrots and probably other things in that spaghetti bolognese but it just makes it delicious! (7 yr old girls are like old women!) Stick a courgette on her plate though and she looks petrified! I am also very strict - DH calls me kitchen Hitler!

Agree with nqc. I would not accept that behaviour from my 6yo. My 2yo OTOH spends hours standing on a chair next to me in the kitchen saying "I don't like that, I don't like that" as I prepare food, chopping onions etc then tucks into it quite often although has taken to picking bits out. But also eating bits that she has left in in a typical contrary fashion. I am lucky that she eats quite well, and I think her tastes are reasonably wide, so it is more about her asserting control. And like nqc I have a well-trained older child.

I also insist on putting a little bit of everything on my DC's plate. My nephew does not have things he doesn't like on his plate, which means that the opportunity to try them is less. I am not too stressed about food because DD will be 3 in May so I think we have got past the fussiest, most limiting stage of eating without her tastes getting too narrow. The main issue we have is getting enough fruit down them both, especially at this time of year.

Ok, my dd is not a badly behaved child and is certainly not rude. She is 7 almost 8 and eats a very balanced diet (much better than most kids I know) and is an absolute star with her brother and his fussy eating. If anyone has a 7 yr old daughter they will know that one of their fave words is disgusting. It relates to everything - boys, clothes, the weather. I said she's at the disgusting stage as a flippant comment which I now regret.

NQC that's good to hear! My 18 month old has suddenly morphed from a fantastic eater of everything and anything, to a fussy spitter-outer . I am doing what you have been doing - offering the same meals and simply removing them when he has eaten what he will - but he is obviously hungrier in between times (has gone from waking at 8 to waking at 6!) But I will not increase his milk intake (about 1 pt a day) and am really reluctant to up his snacks . I'm glad to hear it is working for you and hope that ds will work his way through this phase fairly soon!

gingermonkey my post crossed with your first very clear explanation, otherwise I wouldn't have posted as I did. I still would not be all that keen on the spitting out into tissue thing, but it sounds like it works at your house. And everything else sounds great and I think good habits in your DD will definitely have a positive impact on your DS. One trick I have, is to give them a plate of fruit to share. This really gets DD's competitive nature going.

It's obviously good that his tastes are broadening, but I wouldn't worry too much about children who like fruit but hate veggies or vice versa - as long as they are eating plenty of either, it doesn't really matter in the short term. It's five portions of fruit and/or veg we should be aiming for - could be made up of all fruit (although for adults that might give you a lot of sugar).

Thanks Bozza. I'm not keen on the tissue thing either, but it seems to work (and there is nothing worse than having to swallow something that tastes awful!). I went to a rather fancy restaurant at the weekend and the food was an experience rather than enjoyable (molecular cooking where weird tastes are put together and somehow work - or not always as I found!). My dessert was the worst thing I have ever tasted, it was curdled milk and I really wanted to spit it out! I sat with my eyes watering trying to swallow the huge spoonful I'd put into my mouth and gulping water!!!! My ds will eat fruit, and plenty of it so that's a bonus! Tonight I am making chicken nuggets, sweet potato and normal potato wedges and some veg (probably peas and broccoli). I'll see how he gets on picking at those! At least NQC proves there's a light at the end of the tunnel!

Sorry, gingermonkey, I obviously got the wrong end of the stick there. I think I am sorta ok with polite(ish) spitting out, as long as it's not accompanied by rude words!

Which molecular place did you go to? I went to the Fat Duck a year ago, and loved it. Should try some of the others ... although I always end up hearing about ones in NYC rather than ones in London, usefully.

I agree, discreet spitting out is preferable to having to swallow.

In most but not all situations

Oh, Frances, did you miss the thread about porn? I'm getting bored of always being the one who brings up slash, so it's your turn .

And I'd like to note, Officially, that it is you who lowered the tone, on this thread. Not me.

It was Anthonys in Leeds. It's got a michelin star and my starter was amazing. DH said his main course was the best he'd ever had (and we eat out a lot!!!) but my dessert was awful! It was called Milk Pot and was 7 flavours of milk...off being one! I had pea ice cream with red mullet as an amuses bouche (sp?) which I just wanted more and more of! PIL went to Fat Duck a coupke of months ago, the enjoyed it. My BIL has been too and he said it was good. They had the taster menus though, and DH is allergic to fish so we can never go for them.

lol Franny!

Oh, no, Leeds, I never go north (I would say I never go out of Zone 2, but really it's more of a 'rarely'). I'll have to find somewhere in that style in London.

Off milk does sound a bit odd.

I was honestly just making a comment about spitting, then I realised after I typed it that it had hidden depths (it is YOUR threads that turn filthy NQC, not mine)

am slightly allergic to discussing porn in general so have avoided that one

Right, do I need to go be crude on the 10/10 thread then? Just to even things out?

Seriously, I can see it was an innocuous comment, but the was far from innocuous (sp?).

The first bit was innocent until I reread it. And added the second bit. And the

Everyone is crude on the 10 / 10 thread. I blame your influence.

NQC, it's not somewhere I'd recommend so don't make a special trip oop north!!!! The atmosphere there was terrible and the waiting staff were all Eastern Europeans and didn't speak much English. Everyone I know has been once and never gone back but I'm glad we went and now I want to try the Fat Duck. Better get saving!!!

Hmm sour milk does sound a step too far.... gingermonkey what fruits are you offering just now? Really bored with apples, can't seem to get decent pears, DS fusses about black bits on bananas, MN makes me feel guilty about airmiles on imported soft fruit etc.