Christmas dinner disasters

[piebald]

Come on weve all had them-in fact my christmas feast always seems a little dull without them
My favourite was the year i cooked the turkey upside down and didnt read the rest of the recipe that said-"for the first 20 minutes" 3 and 1/2 hours later it looked as though a steamroller had gone over it! No ceremonial carving that year we had to hack it up in the kitchen and send it out like school dinners

[fizzybeerandsausages]

Nivet, I've just cried trying to read DP your post. He was wondering what was making me laugh so much

[piebald]

I too have cried over these replies!!
Mouldigate-no idea
Dont know how to move to chat but it would be worth it for more tales of culinary christmas adventures

[WillSingForCake]

When I was about 8 I was given a hamster for a Christmas present. We'd had our Christmas lunch, but the remains of the turkey were sitting on the kitchen bench waiting for my dad to carve up later in the day for leftovers. I was alone in the kitchen whilst my parents were watching the Queen's speech in the next room, and I starting picking bits off the turkey to feed the hamster which I was holding at the time. Being a bit cack-handed with my new pet, I accidentally let go of him, and he landed on the turkey. I was desperately trying to catch him, and he was frantically scurrying over the carcass, shitting himself the whole time. I finally got him, carefully picked all the little turds off the meat, and never breathed a word to my parents (and still haven't!). Mum couldn't work out why I wasn't so keen on my turkey sandwiches that year

[Selks]

Haha!

[CheungFun]

One year DM was trying to extract the turkey from the freezer (it was completely wedged in with all of the other Christmas goodies) and managed to get it out and drop it on her ankle...cue huge lump and much whingeing

[EggNogRules]

I like my roasties fresh from the oven. Left until the last minute to drain, I opened the lid of the pan to find the carefully sourced King Edwards had dropped to become the consistency of wallpaper paste. There was nothing left the drain over the size of a sprout. Dinner was an hour away and we had DH's family over.

DH amazingly found a shop open and we made do with some frozen roasties. The rest was delicious. We always have spares in just in case.

[missusjen]

This is the funniest thread ever. I've pulled a muscle and everything....

[SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh]

When I was about 15 it was my grandmother's turn to cook the turkey, because she had a new oven she was very proud of. Basically, grandparents lived at the other end of the road and the plan was (Looking back, this is completely fucking insane but it appears to be the way people carried on in the 70s) that she would cook the turkey and she and Granddad would put it on the back seat of the car and drive it down to my parents' house, where my mum would be ready with the veg. Anyway, the Fabulous New Oven was a bit pants, so the turkey wouldn't cook for ages. I remember my mum urging me and my brother to eat the crisps and nibbles which she usually forbade us to have more than one or two of, while my dad belted up and down the road to give us status updates on the turkey...

[pathwithheart]

One year my family were staying up some mountain in Wales. There were about 20 of us in a big house with a tiny fridge so we put the turkey in the car to keep cold and, overnight, it froze completely. We ate it on Boxing Day. My mum then developed a habit of not cooking the turkey properly - raw meat on a plate kind of thing. Strangely one of us always cooks these days. Thank you all for making me laugh sooo much - I'm cooking for the inlaws this year and will keep all these stories in mind.

[Festivelyfedup]

DM once had a new oven installed in Christmas Eve. It turned out the thermostat was faulty and so the turkey was, let's say, a little overdone. (Black after just an hour). DM hates cooking anyway and it was all somehow DF's fault.

[Saker]

I was keeping the turkey on top of the freezer in the garage until Christmas morning because there wasn't room in the fridge and it was sufficiently cold in the garage. Every time I needed something out of the freezer I would hold the turkey in one hand, and pull out whatever I needed and slam the lid shut. Christmas morning, my mum goes out to get the turkey and can't find it. With a sinking heart I went out to the garage, opened the freezer and found the turkey fully frozen inside, where I must have accidentally put it on one of my trips to get something out. Anyway it wasn't a huge turkey so we ran it under the warm tap, massaged it, microwaved it and managed to cook it for a latish lunch !

[UpStuffedForXmas]

This will probably out me so have NC'd!

We had a lot of people over for Xmas one year so my Mum couldnt fit all the balls of stuffing on one tray. A few extra were put on a smaller tray at the back of the oven. I found them, in the oven, on the 27th December Rock solid, couldnt break them with a hammer!

[sharond101]

I sat on the Christmas pudding by accident and so desert was After Eights, one box between 9 of us!

[Varya]

I had a dog who opened the drop-down oven door and removed the capon to drag off and eat on the living room carpet. More recently we all sat down to eat and were about to start on the cheez-board when I remembered that I had bread sauce and stuff still in the fridge and had forgotten to serve them!

[CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire]

Not actually a disaster, but there was the year when we were going to Mum's for christmas lunch, but DP and I came down with flu. We were too ill to leave the flat. We had Fray Bentos tinned pie for christmas dinner!

[OccultGnu]

belated entry and not my story but a friends.

Two couples she knew would alternate hosting Christmas dinner, one one year and the following year the other couple.

Whichever of the couple were hosting the dinner would prepare and cook all the veg, the ones travelling to the venue would cook the turkey and bring it with them.

All went well until one year there was a mix up and their respective cars passed each other on opposite sides of a deserted dual carriageway each carrying a lovingly cooked turkey on the back seat.

[Bagofmashings]

The oven broke on Christmas Eve. 'Nuff said.