The Anxiety Club- part 3!

[blissa]

Couldn't think of a more imaginative title!

Hi girls

I posted a reply on the other thread and now it's too big to reply to, so here we are a nice sparkly new thread!

xx

Hi tarka. Hope your appointment goes ok. It's good that you've got a nice dr. Do u take any mdication for the depression. Some of them are better than others for anxiety. Has anything in particular triggered it do you think or did it just appear x

Hi Everyone! I'm back!!! Had a bit of computer trouble, basically spilt cup of luke warm tea over keyboard. Firstly, Piggymad, congratulations on the new job, well done! 75% staff discount

Right,I will be back later, have to read through the new posts and make dinner. Hope everyone is well and enjoying the sunshine!

Hello ladies and welcome Tarka. I get a twitchy eyelid as well when am stressed - very annoying and then moticing it makes me paranoid about it and so it persists! Hope the metting with the doctor went ok.

Hi kildare! Bad news about the computer - I did that on my new pink Dell laptop after xmas - dp wasn't happy as he'd bought it for me

Hi lola - phd is on abuse and cruelty in French children's literature. It's fascinating but when I was seeing my counsellor about anxiety she warned me to be careful when reading about the sensitive issues not to take on any of the symptoms that victims can suffer from so I don't read things before bed when I'm tired etc.

Blissa - how handy having the pass and only living twenty minutes away! Bet the dcs love it! Hope you've managed to rescue the plants Definitely treat yourself to the dress - it's a lovely jersey material - so comfy and easy to wash

Hello to yommy and armadillo and choclab xxx

Think I'll definately try it on Piggy

Ooopps kildare! Good to have you back

Hope your appointment went ok Tarka. Welcome to the thread.

Dp is out so I have peace and quiet and a glass of wine!

Glad your appointment went well Tarka, it makes such a difference when you see a good gp

Hi all,

welcome tarka glad the doctor's went well.
All this talk of shopping blissa and piggy I might have to do some myself next week!

Having a bit of crap day today, had a few good ones so was also expecting a bad one soon enough.
Dp is just annoying me- the really small things that just irriate but thats my problem not his. He decided last night he needs a hobby in the evenings(4 weeks away from having a baby and clearly my company is not enough. his timing or my sensitivity is bad)
And to top it all off was meant to be spending the day with my mum and dad... dad changed the plans but they left it til 11.40 to tell me. I've been waiting for them. Bathed, dressed( in clothes that are acceptable for going outside in) did some chores and washing. All ready and my mum then says we could just cancel. I'm pretty close to tears about it tbh- hormones as much as I'm not very good at coping with plans changing. So now I'm stuck at home until my mum comes over for a bit sometime today- she doesnt know when.
I feel like neither my parents or my dp want to spend time with me.

Sorry for the long whinge.

Hope everyone else is having a better day than me.

Awww lola am sending a big online hug.
I bet you're all hot and chewed as well. How annoying of your parents to cancel like that - maybe they didn't realise how much you were looking forward to their visit?
DP just sounds like he's in his own little world at the minute - am sure once baby arrives he will be brought back down to earth with a crash!

Afternoon Ladies,

So sorry not been around for a while! Been out of the house more than in with the weather being so nice DS's just want to be out all the time so by the time I get in a night I have to catch up on the housework and have no time for the computer, lol!

I have been so stressed lately with money worries, lack of jobs, things coming up that I need money for, late period (which finally turned up today) and this hen night that I have coming up My head is just constantly spinning!! I think I am worrying about the hen night more than anything!! There is no way I can get out of it!

I have a baby free night tonight, although still have the 4 year old. Alteast I will get some peace and he just want to go out n play all the time!

Hello to newcomers

Will come back on this evening seen as I will have 5 mins to sit on my butt

x x x

Hey Piggy, thank you for the hug Would you like an ice lolly infront of the fan?- thats how ive spent the afternoon!
I think my folks just didnt realise I really wanted to see them. Mum came over for a while- got some bits in sainsburys and had a catch up so feel bit better now.

Dp, hopefully when the babe is here he will sort himself out. I just try to concentrate on the fact things will be so different soon he wont have the time to faff about. I just feel gutted he doesnt seem to want to spend time with me. He goes out nearly every Friday night with his friends. I didnt really see this as a big deal- having 'boy' time I thought was good for him. I've since mentioned this to my mum and my closest friend, they seem to think its a bit off, my mum said to me; why doesnt he take you to the pub instead? I just feel very anxious and insecure. Its just me and bump most of the time atm.
I wonder if he thinks us living together is enough? Like he doesnt need to make any effort(we've lived together 3 yrs btw this is new behaviour)because I see him all the time? living together and spending time together imo is different.
I dont know what to think anymore. Am a bit foggy tbh- does anyone else get the fog? I feel I cant process my feelings, its almost too big and I cant think clearly.

sorry long whinge...again!

Hope all are well.
your PHD piggy sounds really interesting btw.

hey yommy sorry posted a couple mins after you.
Hope you have been enjoying the weather. lovely to have the sunshine out abeit briefly.
Enjoy your baby free night. Money worries are just awful. It seems everywhere you turn something needs paying for in order to do something else.
Its horrible knowing you cant get out of an event and you really dont want to be there.

Hello ladies,
Yommy I totally sympathize about the hen night - I agree to do things then make myself ill worrying about them and I end up pulling out at the last minute and then feeling really guilty about it The hen night would be fine, but it would be the hour on the bus that would do it for me. Is that the bit you are most worried about? Could you make up some excuse to drive yourself? Or would that be worse?

Lola I'd love a lolly . I agree that living together and spending time together are not the same thing - maybe you're noticing things more as you're on maternity leave so are spending more time on your own? Now I'm a bit busier I'm less resentful of dp 'having a life'. I used to get really upset and anxious if he was late home from work or went out with friends etc as I would just be in the house waiting for him to come home, iykwim. Does he know you would like to do more things together? I think men (well, generalizing here!) can get quite comfy once you've moved in together and sometimes it's easy to forget about dating and having fun together. I know I'm guilty of this too sometimes. My dp has boy time every Wednesday playing football after work and he goes away for weekends maybe twice a year to catch up with old uni friends. I think I'd be a bit jealous if he went out every Friday night with mates as I'd be sat in on my own as haven't made any close friends here yet xx

piggy I'm glad its not just me! I think mat leave has made it worse. I used to work lots and be a busy bee now I have no life! The only close friends I have are either, the other end of the country or closer to home but also busy bees but I am trying to see them every wk/fortnight to keep me sane.

I'm just upset he seems to want to find things to do on fri or sat night just not with me. He's out now and hasnt even bothered to contact me. I get so upset and worried
I will talk to him soon I do keep saying things but he doesnt do anything about it.
He couldnt do enough for me in earlier pregnancy now it feels me and bump are on our own. I worry saying anything may just push him away further. I've always been this insecure, anxious and to a certain extent a touch depressed i think pregnancy has blown all my coping mechanisms out of the water.

On the up side I did have a lovely dinner of the butchers yummy lamb kebabs.

hello to everyone else- please take a lolly as a thank you for reading my long moaning posts

I had finally got my Solero today Lola so I'll enjoy that with you . Your dp sounds very much like mine when I was expecting dd1. I think you do need to talk to him, he needs to hear how you are feeling.

Fancy letting rl get in the way Yommy . Sorry you've been feeling stressed lately, I hope things start looking up soon. I'm sure AF arriving was a wait off though? When is the hen night?

My friend has asked me to be God Mother to her ds today which really cheered me up! I'm not christened so never thought I could be, but she has spoken with the powers that be and it is ok

Aw thats lovely blissa mmm solero now there's a thought!
Will talk to dp when he comes home. He said he was walking back to his car a while ago- not home yet. I can feel myself getting panicked, my hands start to shake. I keep thinking I can hear a car and there is none. I wish I didnt suffer as much as I do. I am determined that my little one wont be like me in that sense.

Am off to try and not panic

take care all

L x

Morning All,

Had a lovely baby free night, was planning on having a little cider, but never got round to it! Ended up cleaning my upstairs carpets! lol! DS1 slept til 9.15 this morning so can;t complain at that!

lora - hope you managed to speak with DP and managed to resolve some things! How long have you been suffering anxiety??

Blissa - I do have a cheek letting rl get in the way, lol! The hen night is next Saturday - just going to try not to worry about it and go and try to have a good time! Its not that I don't want to go and have agreat time, just worrying about the what ifs!!!

Piggy - are you working today?? How many hours do you work? How did the long shift go?

Think its going to be a lovely day here again Love how the good weather lifts the mood!!

Hi to everyone else, hope you all have a lovely weekend

x x x

Morning everyone! I've just read all the latest posts and I am up to date now with everyone!

Weather is gorgous. I was in great form this morning but now I am pissed off!!! I am sick of cleaning/cooking/counselling/negotiating/ all the blinking time!!! I thinks it called being a housewife My dh is driving me mad. Just had a shouting match with him as he is so fucking messy. Excuse my language but I am fed up. In the grand scheme of things I know this is small and he is great and hardworking but just let me rant.

Anyway he has gone to the gardening centre now so a bit of space is good. I feel a little bit better even just typing this down. Quick questions for mums with sons, when do they start flushing the toilet on a regular basis? AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Piggy - I went to see SATC2 last night, I thought it was very entertaining. I really enjoyed it. Not a patch on the series, I agree but for a bit of pure escapisim, it ticked all the boxes. I love Samantha, she was hilarious. I'm not giving anything away, but I loved the scene between Miranda and Charlotte discussing motherhood. It struck a chord.

Anyway enough of my ranting, I am going to enjoy the sunshine with my 3 messy men

xxx

"Quick questions for mums with sons, when do they start flushing the toilet on a regular basis"

I too would love to know the answer to that. I have to make sure I check them every time someone comes round.

Had bad couple of days - been reasonably manic. On the plus side got lots of stuff done and plans made but it is hard on dh. Also was hallucinating quite a bit. Fauns were driving cars past our house and all the evil woodland creatures were out. Had a bug and think that's disrupted everything.

Also dh is on jobseekers but at mo I can't be left alone for extended periods of time and I can't go out by myself so he's worried about having to get a job. Has interview with jobseekers people tomorrow and is planning to talk to them about it. SO I had a look at DLA form online and surprisingly I fulfill several of the criteria re mental health problems which is really depressing. The real problem being I cannot cope by myself - I need another adult (pref dh) with me all the time.

I have no idea how much longer this will continue. I presume no one does. But at the moment I feel like a complete fruitloop and can't see any end to it. Everytime I start to make progress I end up having a bad day that turns into a bad week and I'm back to daily hallucinations again.

Bit fed up atm. SOrry for the long self-indulgent moan.

Morning Armadillo,

Sorry to hear you have been having a bad few days Sounds like you have a bit more going on than just anxiety? I really hope things calm down for you again soon. Hopefully soon the good days will outweigh the bad It must be pretty hard on you and DH at the moment.Do you have any plans for the day??

I have been up since 6.30 with DS, he is happy playing for the time being so just thought I'd have a wee quick check in. The weather is back to being horrible today, why can;t we just have lots n lots of nice sunny days??? Argh!

Well better go play with DS before he gets fed up!

Hope you all have a lovely sunday!

x x x

P.S. Think boys constantly have to be reminded to flush!

Thanks - once everyone else is up hopefully the day will get better.

The hallucinations/paranoid delusions are caused by extreme stress/anxiety. I decided not to go for the usual panic attacks

I'm on meds to control it all but they only reduce and don't cure.

Mostly ok and not depressed. Just struggling to see the end of this atm.

I'll talk to doctor again when I go this week and see if there's anything else they can do.

It feels like the halluncinations are piling up again. Though they are not as severe as they were.

Weather looking mankier here as well. Think we will be staying in and pottering around today. Hope you have a good day

Hi all,

sorry to hear your having a tough time Armadillo, hope talking to the doc helps. I know its so hard some days just to get through that day. I hope today is a brighter one for you.

Things are still pretty crap with me tbh. Starting get quite anxious about giving birth. Not the pain as such, just the experience.
Dp and I have some issues of which he is not prepared to talk about and I just dont know if I have it in me at the moment. My highs and lows are becoming a bit more apparent but nothing I'm not used to coping with. I didnt think I would feel so alone being pregnant either. Feel very isolated from dp and dont really have much independence now either.
Yommy, had anxiety pretty much most of my life I had quite distressing teenage years because of it but I didnt know what it was I guess. I've been dealing with it for long I dont know what's normal and whats not anymore. Hope you have fun with your boys. The weather cant make its mind up here, not that im going anywhere anyhow.

Hope everyone else is ok and enjoying your sunday.
Lola x

Lola is this your first?

I found wrt to giving birth the first time (and it wasn't a great birth and was long as well) that you almost don't have time to think about the experience while it is happening. You are busy playing your part and then baby!

I did have a lot of drugs though - and although its something I'd prefer not to have this time round, it was definately the right choice last time. My memories of the entire thing are hazy (which is good in my case) and it really made the whole experience easier.

I wish you a good, calm and relaxing birth. Bear in mind that the midwifes will have probably seen every reaction to birth before and if you are open with them about how you're feeling at the time they should be able to help you with it. Discussing it with your midwife beforehand may help as well.

I felt very alone when I was pregnant with ds - I felt estranged from everyone and that no one could know exactly what I was going through. With the anxiety and the highs and lows it must be all the harder. By the end of my last pregnancy the only person I was talking to was dh and that was only so I could yell at him.

It will be over though at some point. You just need to get through the next few weeks. If your dp is being a pain (and I was ready to kill mine last time) is there a friend you could talk to? Or to your parents? I'm finding it easier now I'm making plans on socialising and what to do after the birth - so I have something to look forward to. I've lost all my independance atm - I can't cope without dh at all so am completely reliant on him. It is depressing and scary.

Although it is hard to talk it can make things easier. Your reactions/feelings are all normal in my experience, just made harder by the highs and lows/anxiety.

I'm not sure what is different for me this time - probably that I am so reliant on dh at the moment I can't afford to feel the same towards him. Plus he knows what to expect and it's different not being the first time.

Is there a way you can set aside 3 nights or so a week for you 2 to spend time together. As date nights - not necessarily going out but just having dinner together and maybe watching a film or whatever you like to do. Also on the nights he is out could you plan to do special 'spoiling' treats for you? Watch a film he hates while eating chocolates, having a long pampering bath. Stuff you don't need him around for?

SOrry I appear to have written an essay - I'm bad at that atm.

Having a bit of better day now dh & ds are around but wishing it was monday so I could get hte 100 things I want to do done.

Great advice from Armadilo there Lola. These last few weeks are the worst as you get bigger and more uncomfortable, and start to think about the birth. Do you have a birth plan? I didn't first time round, hadn't gone to ante-natal classes or anything. All I knew was I didn't want an epidural, but I took everything else going! With my second, I made sure I'd packed a packet of biscuits, a puzzle book and some comfy socks, things to help the experience easier.

I hope you and dp manage to talk things through. I know how you feel, dp and I have quite a few issues that we just skirt around and pretend aren't there.

How are you feeling now Armadilo? Is there any way your dp could ask about becoming your full time carer, if that is what you need atm?

Lol kildare, my ds is 4 and still needs a kick up the bum reminding to flush the toilet. Mind you, the dds aren't much better!!

Hope you are having a good day Yommy.

I've just got back from town with dds, had to get dd1 some new school shoes as her old ones had holes in the soles. Weather is lovely, bit hazy, but I was expecting rain. It'll be here in the morning in time for the school run no doubt. Don't know where half term is, but I am ready for them to go back, can't be doing with all this squabbling and ds is getting so cheeky

Don't know where half term has gone that should say

Dh is going to enquire about being an official carer tomorrow with the jobcentre. At the moment it is what I need but not sure how long I will need it for. NO idea if I'm going to get better or will just end up being stable on medication.

I don't know where half term has gone either! Glad ds back to school tomorrow though - back to the old routine. He loves school.

Today not as bad as I thought but will be better tomorrow when I can get on with stuff (can't do it today as everything closed).