The Anxiety Club- part 3!

[blissa]

Couldn't think of a more imaginative title!

Hi girls

I posted a reply on the other thread and now it's too big to reply to, so here we are a nice sparkly new thread!

xx

Hello ladies,
Lola no advice for the birth, but agree with Armadillo about doing some nice treats for you when your dp goes out. Could you arrange phone calls with your friends or send cach-up emails to people?
Armadillo - hope you are both feeling a bit better now. I have heard of the hallucinations being caused by stress and anxiety - I think peter andre has suffered from them in the past (I am resident Andre expert ). I hope you are able to get dh to act as carer for you until things get better for you.
Hello to yommy, kildare and blissa. Am shattered a the mo from work and had a couple of iffy moments but just plodded on and feeling ok about it all. They keep trying to give me more shifts though, so need to nip that in the bud or will start to get anxious and worried about it as can't afford to take on too much with the thesis. Still, I'm quite enjoying being busy at the moment and having a 'purpose', if that makes sense.
xxx

Hi everyone
Gosh this thread has moved on since i was last here.
Hello Thearmadillo and Tarka and Kildare

Piggymad-How's the job going?

Thislittlesisterlola-I always found that the last few weeks of pregnancy made me more anxious.As Blissa said ,you get bigger and more uncomfortable and with it being so hot i imagine that doesnt help.I remember being so anxious when i was expecting dd2 and i developed a fear of going to the hospital.As they had closed the local birth unit since i had dd1.Anyway turned out great in the end as i had dd2 on my own on the bathroom floor.My midwife joked that i had done it on purpose lol.

I had a few days last week when my insomnia returned so got a bit anxious over that.
My mom and dad are back from their hols so i feel more at ease now.And i have my next CBT session on tuesday.Only problem now is that i am in pain with my jaw again(T.M.J) as i ate some popcorn last night and my jaw has popped out again.

I hope everyone else is ok?

Hope you're feeling bit brighter today Lola

I'm having problems with halluncinations getting more and more frequent so every evening atm. Dh is having to sit with me when I go to sleep.

glad to hear that I am not the only person who has ever got these - it feels a bit like it sometimes. Though tbh I have had panic attacks before and the hallucinations are more disabling in general but much less terrifying than thinking I am going to die when hyperventilating. So they are the preferable option for me.

Ds off school today so not going to be able to get all our stuff done. It's not his fault and hopefully he will be well enough for tomorrow but still frustrating. He rarely gets ill though.

Worrying at the moment about hallucinations while giving birth and if I have to stay in hospital afterwards. What happens if I start hallucinating on the ward? WHen dh isn't there? They probably won't have enough staff to have someone sit wiht me and what if they don't understand what is happening? What's it going to be like if I start hallucinating during giving birth? It's not like they can sedate me. Need to talk this throguh wiht my midwife next week but she;s on holiday so it will be a stand in.

Dr on wednesday - I'll speak to her about some of it I think.

Hi Armadillo - I have no idea wrt giving birth, but maybe the adrenalin and situation will just take over and your body will be too busy pushing baby out for your mind to play tricks? I would have thought the stress and anxiety would kick in either before or after? Perhaps if your midwife or doctor spoke to the hospital about your hallucinations then they might let your husband stay with you for longer? Does anything work to get rid of them or is it just a case of waiting it out? It must be awful for you to go through that. Aren't our minds funny things? Hope ds is feeling beter soon.

Hi pelvic, hope the insomnia is being kept at bay! How are things with your neighbour? Have they settled down yet? Work is going well - feeling quite positive, for the time being! Am in today 2-6pm and have a list of clothes and jewellery to purchase!
xxx

Tahnks Piggymad - i think you are right that I should be ok during labour.

Hopefully if I give birth in the morning adn leave asap dh should be there to stay with me the whole time.

Having a plan helps.

I think Piggy is right about the adrenaline taking over during the birth Armadillo. I think making everyone aware of the situation and talking about it will help. Is there anyway you could have a home birth? Would that make you feel more comfortable? Sorry to hear ds isn't well today, hope he feels better soon. How did your dh get on at the jobcentre?

What is TMJ Pelvic? How is your jaw today, doesn't sound nice. I'm glad your parents are back did they have a nice time away?

Hope work goes well today Piggy, enjoy your shopping !

I've managed to do the dreaded Tesco rn this morning without any wobbles! I've bought some vit E tablets in the hope they help to sort my skin out, it's terrible atm. Back to the running the dcs around now they're back to school, oh joy!

home birth would not be good for me unfortunately as I would worry too much being away from the hospital. Plus there are issues with my medication which means baby would have to be monitored. Plus we have a lodger who would not be impressed

I think that you are both right in that the birth should not be a problem, it'll be after I think. I think the best solution would be to make them aware and then try and get home asap.

Ds feeling a lot better and should be in school tomorrow, thank goodness. WHich means we can go into town and get all the stuff done we need to do.

Well done with tesco - it's a horrible place when you are feeling well and on top of things

lol about the lodger amradillo - imagine him/her coming down for their cornflakes and finding you spreadeagled on the lounge floor!! I thought they tried to rush you out of hospital pretty quicklyif it's not a first baby now?How long do you think you will have to stay in?

Well done on Tesco blissa. I think we all hate that shop on here!

sorry typo in previous post should have been 'it's a horrible enough place when you are feeling well' worse otherwise.

I did tell lodger that I was having a homebirth just to see his face. He did not find it funny.

Me and dh pmsl.

Like when I tried to convince him I was having twins, lodger said 'well you'll just have to give one of them away'.

I enjoy winding him up. TBF he enjoys winding me up to

I am planning to go as natural birth as possible in order to be out of hospital as soon as I can. Unfortunately it may not be that easy. I was in for 5 days with ds so it makes me panic a bit. I want to do the out in 6 hours thing though if I can.

Fluoxetine can lead to heart probs at birth for baby though and there is also a possible mild withdrawal for the baby from the other drugs I'm taking. Low chance of both but will need to be checked out. So not sure if I will need to stay in to be monitored.

Hi all.

Hope things are getting better/ starting to get sorted with you armadillo I also couldnt have a home birth for the same reasons as you. It would be ideal but I would be a wreck and end up in hospital anyhow.

Well done on Tesco blissa that blooming place!

piggy how was your clothes and jewellery shopping- you lucky thing. Really happy for you that work is working out well

pelvic, how you doing? hope the cbt goes well. Hope your folks had a nice break- i always feel better when mine are home. Hope your jaw is ok- sounds painful!

Hi Yommy and kildare and anyone else I've acccidently missed I hope you are all well and not getting soggy! Its June I dont want my handbag bulked up with a brolly!

Feeling much better today, seen mw and she reassured me that I will be feeling more anxious in the run up to birth. Made me feel better. Babe is all ok too. Just waiting now- sigh!

Hope you are all having a good day. Thank you so much for your support of late, it is much appreciated and is really helping.

Lola

Glad you are feeling a bit better today Lola.

How much longer have you got to go?

I'm 32 1/2 weeks atm but baby dropped about 3-4 weeks ago so have feeling it will be early.

The waiting gets frustrating. Have been off work so long now am incrediably bored without the mobility or attention span to do anything.

Hey ladies,
glad you're feeling better lola. It's nice having a set of online 'friends' for support!
Did you find out anymore about your dp being carer armadillo? Do you know if you're expecting a girl or boy?

I'm doing ok - quite tired but generally plodding on! Manically got to read my book club book for the meeting tomorrow - 500 pages of The Book Thief left - eek! xxx

Hi all

Blissa-TMJ stands for Temporomandibular joint disorder probably caused by years of tensing my jaw through stress.
It can be very painful ,i am waiting for MRI results on the 23rd.Fingers crossed they can do something.

My mom and dad had a lovely holiday apart from it rained and even snowed which in Austria in June is unheard of apparently.

Had my CBT today and i had to fill in a B.D.D form .She said it was quite severe and i was classic textbook B.D.D.I cannot believe that noone considered this all these years.Have more 'homework' to do.Will need to get a folder at this rate.

I havent seen the neighbours still but still panic a bit when i come or go from the house.Trying to put in perspective though.

Glad your Mw was able to reassure you Lola

How is everyone else?

Glad your cbt went well pelvic - crikey has it been two weeks since your first appt? That has flown over!

What's your homework this time? I have a folder full of leaflets and info on anxiety that I sometimes refer to when I'm going through a bad patch.

Evening everyone, just finished watching the last episode of Desperate Housewifes in the current series. Very good, can't wait for next series, have to wait till next January (Boo!!!)

Hows everybody.Armadillo how you feeling today? any hallucinations? It just brings home that the mind is so powerful and yet so sensitive.

Lola - good to hear you are feeling a little better in yourself. I have to say I loved being pregnant with both of my ds and especially going into labour , I found it really exciting! Just look afteryourself, get plenty of rest and try not to be too anxious(I know easier said than done!)

Piggymad- Glad the job going well. Good luck on reading your book for tomorrow night

Pelvic - Are you enjoying (for want of a better word) CBT? What is your therapist like. Fair play to you for going, its a great step!

Yommy/Blissa/Choclab - How are you all?

I'm tired now, going to bed. Night, Night!!!

Had bad night last night - had dh up in the early hours as I believed evil dolls were coming to kill me. That was fun

We asked about the carers stuff but as I am technically working (though not at work as on maternity leave) then I can't claim anything. And dh can only claim carer's stuff if I am claiming. They did change his jobseekers agreement though so he can apply for part time work instead because of 'caring commitments'.

Was looking up mental health stuff on interweb last night and found study done that showed women (but not men) who suffered from psychosis (e.g. hallucinations and delusions) were twice as likely to have been abused as children. I text my bf this and she said 'well it had to come from somewhere'. Dh didn't seem surprised either when I told him.

This baby is 'possibly a girl but don't go painting anything' according to sonographer. We're hoping for a girl only because we have used the one boy's name that we agree on on ds. We are not good at choosing names.

You poor thing Armadillo that sounds scary, how are you feeling now? That is interesting re the psychosis, do you feel that could be the reason? We only managed to agree on one name for ds too, dp wanted to name him after him but I put my foot down! I understand completely what you say about being anx about a home birth and being away from the hospital, I always fancied a home birth but the thought of anything going wrong and not having everything immediately there put me off. Lol about the lodger!

I'm glad that the mw made you feel more reassured Lola, ata least it is a little cooler atm.

That does sound painful Pelvic, I hope they are able to do something for you. Glad that your session went well yesterday.

I feel absolutely knackared today. Dd2 starts brownies tonight- she is soo excited!

How are you finding The Book Thief Piggy? It's not a book I enjoyed, but I was glad I read it iyswim

Hey ladies,
Armadillo - how awful about your bad night and how are you feeling after reading the article? I've read a few articles on people who have repressed memories of abuse and it only comes to light years later (not saying that's relevant to you, just it was so sad to hear of). At least your dp only has to look for pt work. Did you manage work ok before you went on maternity leave? Have the hallucinations/stress/anciety got worse during pregnancy?

Blissa, I've been reading all day and am now on p. 237 so got about 350 to go - have until 7.30pm! It's been quite nice having a reading day, but the book is very sad. Hope dd2 enjoys brownies - does dd1 go to brownies or guides?

I'd love to have a whole day to myself reading! Dd1 goes to brownies aswell so they'll be together!

Armadillo - That sounds absoultely horrific what you are going through. Sorry if this questions has been asked, are you attending a therapist?

Blissa - have just spent the past two hours sobbing away to myself but have managed to finish the book with half an hour to spare!

Thanks for all the support.
Firstly am waiting for therapy through a support group adn can also get some through work which I might start looking at if nothing starts soon.

Stuff with my parents and childhood has kicked this all off. I was always anxious but in november I stopped speaking to my parents. I found out I was pregnant at the same time. The anxiety has built up since then, even though generally I'm happier in my life now I don't have to deal with my parents. In March I went to dr for something unrelated and they were concerned about my behaviour (and not at all interested in my virus ). I got signed off work for a couple of weeks. THen insisted on going back after the fluoxetine kicked in as I enjoy my (part time work).

A couple of weeks later there were a few instances with my family all within about a day. I ended up in hysterics. Work sent me home (I said I'd be back the next day - my manager said 'we'll see'. Started hallucinating and barricading myself in rooms/locking all doors and shutting all the curtains and being really freaked all the time. It was really really horrible. That's when I got put on anti-psychotic and have been a lot more stable since then but haven't been back to work.

MY work are really good with all this and have been really supportive, especially my manager. They are next to my doctors surgery so I call in when I go to doctors every week.

Basically what I think, and dh agrees, is that this is the first time in my life I've been able to relax and as a result a lot of issues have come to the surface. Things I've never been able to deal with before. SO in the long term it's best they come out and get dealt wiht and it should be a positive thing. Just hard in the short term. Dr and one of the psychiatrists I saw both said I'm not crazy but it's an understandable reaction to extreme stress I have been under basically my entire life. And that I have actually coped quite well.

My parents were physically and emotionally abusive. IT took a long time to admit it and mostly I'm trying to fix what they broke.

So mostly this is all actually a good thing in the long term. Dh is very nice and he has a lovely family who are really supportive of us both.

I think you are a very brave lady Armadillo, you have been through so much. It is great you have such good support and nice to hear your work are supportive too, you don't need any added pressure from them. You sound quite positive in your post, you're right, it is good that this has all come out finally and can now be dealt with and you can move on.

Piggy- the ending is awful isn't it?! I so wanted her and Rudy to have a chance together