The Anxiety Club- part 3!

[blissa]

Couldn't think of a more imaginative title!

Hi girls

I posted a reply on the other thread and now it's too big to reply to, so here we are a nice sparkly new thread!

xx

thislittlesisterlola glad you seem to have had a better time over the past few days. I too am gaining stretch marks at the rate of knots on top of the previous stretchmarks which is a wonderful look. ONly 6 1/2 weeks more for me to go - how much longer have you got?

kildare nice to hear to you have calmed down a bit. Hopefully doctors appt will be able to put your mind to rest completely.

YommyMommy Hen night sounds fab. It makes things so much easier, I find, when you have a good night like that.

Blissa Appt went fine thank you but did finish me off for rest of day as just getting there and dealing with it was stressful. FOund out what I needed to know. It's amazing how little I can do now though
Legoland sounds great. ILs are hoping to take ds there in summer for a couple of days (staying nearby). They're going to spoil him after baby is born.

Pelvicfloornomore The bird thing sounds horrible. YOu sound like you coped with the actual situation quite well thoguh, just the aftermath of it all is hard.
I know what you mean about school letters. Ds seems to bring home another handful everyday

choclab sounds like you have a good doctor. The CBT sounds like it will help a bit. I'm waiting to hear about something similar (I think thats what it is anyway) - I need to chase it up.

PIggymad everything seems to be trying to conspire to make you worry about being late atm! I sympathise as I need to be in control too and hate it when others muck it up. It is a horrible feeling. It really is a big acheivement on getting there everyday - I hope you are giving yourself plenty of rewards for it.

neverenoughMEtime hello!

Hi all ,

Kildare how are you doing ? i to suffer with health anx so i really know how you feel , have you been able to get appt to see your doctor ?
what do you do to help your HA ?

BLISSA-- how r u ? glad you had a good weekend and made it through the tesco run ...

YOUMMY-- , sounds like you had a good one to lots of fun and dancing ..

PIGGY-- , hows the job going ? any better ? i think your doing really well and think takes time to settle into new job/people but im sure in time will get better .

PELVIC-- , how r you doing ?

HELLO and how r you to anyone els i missed out , sorry thread keeps growing and trying to keep up ..

will look back in later

Did you have all your tests done today choclab? How long do you have to wait for the results? I'm sure everything will be ok, and I hope that it will help to put your mind at rest. I totally agree with Piggy, you need to find a way to help you move on when the results come through. I know what HA is like, I'm learning to live with it. You CAN do it and you will, but it's hard I know.

I hate to see animals suffering too Pelvic. We have a cat and I've had to rescue a birds from his clutches. The last one was a pigeon, he'd broken it's wing and it was in a lot of distress. I couldn't find an open vet and so had to ask dp to put it out of it's misery. I know it nature, but it's hard to deal with sometimes.

Sorry you had a bad day yesterday Piggy, hope you are feeling ok today.

How are you feeling Armadillo? Not too long to go for you now. Your ds will love Legoland! Where abouts are your PIls planning on staying?

Welcome to the thread neverenoughMEtime . It does help to know you are not the only one!

Hope you are ok Yommy and kildare.

Been helping at pre-school again today and will be again tomorrow. I am feeling very tired, not sleeping very well atm. No problem getting to sleep but then either ds will wake me up in the early hours or I wake up needing the loo and I cannot get back to sleep.

Have just written ds one months notice to the pre-school to say he is leaving . It doesn't seem that long ago that he was just starting!

Had blood tests today blissa to so will ring on Friday hope everything will be ok ..i am a little bit anx about the results i must say ...and waiting to get appt for scan in post ..feel like its all hanging over me till then to be honest ....got good devil and bad devil on shoulder again ...
i didnt realise u to suffered with HA , how do you cope ? r you ok now ?

hope you get a better nights sleep tonight...makes it such a long day if you have broken sleep and wake early ..

i remember when y DD left her nursery at alnost 4 , i was in tears , she was so happy there and i really loved the girls who looked after her , fond memories there DD now almost 10 ..and just back from weeks away with school camp ..missed her so much .

shes sleeping in our bed tonight as my DH house sitting with our son ,at his mums house for the night ...so got some choc. pop corn and going to watch come dine with me and cuddles .

hope everyone els ok ?

Hi everyone.

I have had an ok day today, was anxious at nursery drop off and pick up but managed to stick it out and even chatted to the other parents

I have been really ill with anxiety and panic disorder, i can't believe how bad it got tbh. I only have one friend left, she has no idea and the ones i have lost all think im rude and anti-social probably Cant let that get me down now, when i am well i intend to explain and apologise for not keeping in touch/cancelling arrangements. I have felt much happier lately and been quite chatty at nursery, i actually look forward to seeing the mums as i have felt so isolated.

Im getting there slowly I hope i dont bring anyone down on this thread, i seem to be quite a way behind you lot at the moment. I have only just started going out by myself again, managed it twice now to the shops and am thrilled also done tesco shop nice and calm 3 times with baby DD2 I do the school run everyday with the 2 DD's and do go to the park with them but it has been a huge struggle. It seems a little easier lately and i pray it continues.

I have a mixture of issues - panic disorder, general anxiety, health anxiety, agoraphobia, social phobia..i think thats it

Im looking forward to reading about how you are all doing! And i think it will give me the confidence i need to keep this up!

Sounds like a lovely evening choclab, relax and enjoy.

My HA kicked off big time last year when I was in hospital with PEs. Totally convinced I was going to die, waiting for more clots to come and get me. It's like living under a black cloud and is mentally and emotionally exhausting.

Looking back I've always been like it but never realised it. Never understood the power of the mind and always thought that if you were feeling bad it had to mean there was something wrong, I could never accept that it was all in my mind.

Have learned some important lessons and following some fantastic support from the ladies on this thread, and a couple of counselling sessions with a lovely lady, I decided enough is enough. I made myself get out every day and I kept myself busy so I couldn't sit in the house and count the symptoms everyday.

This time last year I couldn't be alone in the house without my mobile in my pocket and the back door unlocked, so that someone could get to me if I keeled over. My counsellor told me (and she was the only person who could make me see this) that worrying does nothing. If it's going to happen it's going to happen and worrying isn't going to change that. It stuck with me and somehow I have managed to stop worrying so much about it happening again.

The reality is it could, but I cannot live my life in fear of it. It's so time wasting. I wasted months of my life worrying about what could happen. Somehow, and I'm sorry I cannot tell you how, I don't know, but I have managed to stop it controlling me. I don't let myself think about it.

My HA hasn't gone away completely, I still worry things are more serious than they are, and neither has my anxieties in certain situations, but I have come to accept it will always be there and it is about finding ways to cope with it and take control of it rather than it controlling you.

Sorry I've probably waffled a lot there, never really got all that out before

Blissa, thanks for sharing! Im going to keep reading your post to let it sink in because i have been very much the same, thinking that if i am feeling bad something must be wrong, leaving door unlocked and phone handy incase i keeled over at home alone...i feel im just around the corner from where you are now and your post has inspired me to keep moving forward

Hi neverenough . sounds like you have been through a tough time, but you are sounding really positive.

Don't worry about bringing anyone down here, we all have our down moments, that is the point of the thread. It sounds like you are doing really well, especially if you can manage Tesco's- that is a big thing on here

Did your anxieties start when you had the dcs or have you suffered before?

Thanks blissa!

My anxiety started when i was around 7 years old. I saw a boy faint in school assembly and i can still remember the adrenaline that shot through me. It terrified me and kicked off a whole load of phobias and panic. Never had any kind of treatment until just after i had DD2 (5 months ago) when i noticed this all had turned into agoraphobia. Got myself to the doctor and im doing the online CBT thingy and taking propanolol every day. The main thing slightly holding me back now is my phobia of fainting because i often have the light headed feeling. Phobia is not as bad as it was though. Im waiting to see a psychologist who will hopefully help me with that.

Do lots of others struggle with shopping too?! Wow. Im often looking around wondering if anyone else is feeling the sheer panic and discomfort i am/have felt but everyone looks so calm and happy!

How about you blissa? How did yours start?

Hi ladies,
Nice to hear from you neverenough. I get the lightheaded thing too - and depersonalisation and dizziness thinking I'm going to faint. It's horrible . I've had a better day today at work but am bit wobbly now - probs tired and we're off to London for a few days tomo so rather anxious about the train - haven't been on one for nearly a year as hate them .
Will check how everyone's doing tomo morn
Blissa - I was exactly like that about leaving the door open and phone on. I only felt remotely safe in bed lying down.
night ladies xxx

morning all

hello neverenough --how are you doing ?
i can relate to how you feel as i have health anx , i to get dizzy etc ,
ell done for dropping DD off at nursery and managing to chat to other mummys , that is something iv always found really hard , i am bit better now , i used to always run out of conversation and think that they r boared with me , my DC both at primary school so school gate pick ups r really hard ,as there are many "clicks"going on with the mummys and im not in any of them and generally just stand there , but sometimes i will talk with someone , but to be honest iv accepted now that ,that is me and i am acctually comfortable with that now .and dont feel to bad now .
i get very bad wizzy,dizzy in tescos ...most times ..i rally have to focus on what im doing , go with list and get out of there as soon as i can ...im same in shopping mauls to ...
how do you find you CBT ?im waiting to here about starting some .

Blissa--thank you for sharing that with us , WOW no wonder you were feeling anx ..How are you now ?with your PEs?
i know what you mean about wasting time worrying , im he same , i feel ashamed that im like this i really hate myself for it to , and in a way thats why i keep on .

Piggy --hope you have a nice few days away , like to here wat you will be doing up there ?i worry bout trains to , get yourself a magazine or book to read to pass the time and youll be there in no time .

hello to everyone els to .
hope your ok Kildare ?x

Hi choclab,

Im the same i feel i dont fit in with any of the mums really and that i haven't got anything interesting to say, they think im strange etc BUT ive forced myself to speak to them, about anything i dont care as long as i walk away feeling like ive socialised a little! Ive always got to nursery just as the dors were opening so that i didn't have to stand around and wait, but now started going 10 mins before doors open. Struggle some days with depersonalization and dizzyness there but try to walk around a bit to try and calm it.

Tesco was hideous for me, i used to literally run around getting my stuff and often forgetting loads of it. So i know very well how you feel about that.

CBT is ok, but i feel its more for depression? Although there are good parts of it for anxiety. It has helped me change the way i think so thats good.

Hope everyone is having a good day? I went shopping again this morning, have CBT tonight then have to nip to tesco on my own positive thinking! And deep breaths haha.

Piggy - Hope you have a good trip and are not too anxious on the train. Feels like a black cloud over your head when you are anxious about something coming up doesn't it? I have a parents meeting in 2 weeks where i have to sit in a hall with 60 parents...just the thought of it sets off panic. You will be there in no time, take a good book!

neverenoughtime ,

sounds so familiar , i in past get /got so hurt by friendships , i think this stems from as a child i grew up with my brother and sister in the middle of nowhere , was just us really , my sister was and still is my best friend although she lives up other end of country ..we talk every day .
we never had friends round or went to peoples houses so i think this has made me finding friendships really hard , i cant work out why people nice one min then bitch about you or otheres behind there backs , i find it all so complicated and rally havent got the brain space to keep up with it all . i cant help the way i am , i have one of those faces that also looks unhappy/grumpy so people dont talk to me in less i do them honest ...
i spend much of my time alone , and have about 2really really good friends one my sister , the other iv known since primary school so she loves and likes me the way i am and thats enough for me i think .

sorry waffling ...oops

hope you CBT goes well tonight .and send you poistive vibes for tesco ...

im going to try keep busy , as thinking to much about test results and scan ... as bloating alot today ...although period due sunday ....

anyway hope everyone els having a good day

Oh my gosh, are you me?! I grew up in a battle with my dad, personality clash and i (as did he) got really hurt by it and often lived together in silence for months and months until something broke it. Then some other disagreement would happen and we would fall out all over again. This has messed me up really, i cant forgive easily, and like you i cant understand people, dont have the brain space to keep up with them. I also have one of those faces where people often say "cheer up!" when i am happy!

Thanks for the positive vibes! Im not looking forward to CBT, 3 weeks ago during a session i had a panic attack. Not had a full blown one for a while because im on propanolol but i hadn't taken one before going. This set me back a little and now for the whole day before going to CBT im quite anxious. I get through it but im on the edge the whole time iykwim.

Hope you are ok, when will you get your results? Waiting is horrible isn't it. Sending you some positive vibes back. What will be will be, worrying wont change anything just causes more distress. I try and repeat this to myself over and over again! Could be period causing the bloating? happens to me too a week before im due!

thanks , hoping that is the case for bloating , and anx always worse week before ..
Get blood test results friday ..and waiting to have scan done .yikes ..

hope CBT goes better than last time for you ..
i did have a little counceling 2 years ago but sounds awful but dont think the chap i was seeing was that good , in the 8 weeks i went we really got no further ahead ...so im really hoping that this time round its alot better ..

SO funny what you said about people saying "cheer up"i get that ALOT , that along with you ok you look tired ...i can honestly say its RARE for someone to come up to me at school ...i must give off vibes i dont know , i am not that bad , but like you find it hard to forgive people who let me down ...im very sensative , emotional ,and worry alot about all sorts of things ....

let me know how you session goes later . x

All sounds so familiar to me choclab! Good to know you are not alone hey? Im glad i posted on this thread. I too am very emotional and sensitive.

I havent tried counselling but think i may do at some point. Sorry to hear your experience was not so good. Hope you get a better one next time!

Will post after CBT, thanks i hope it goes better too. Its an online CBT so you just go there and sit at a computer with headphones...i think i would benefit more from talking to a real therapist though...

My anxiety is always worse the week before my period too, have you tried vitamin B complex? I started taking that about 5 weeks ago now and notice that i am not as bad as i was before it. It took about 2 weeks to work, i noticed i was a little calmer. Just a thought. Good luck for friday, and the scan too. Seems to be one worry after another here, is that the way for you too? You drop one worry and up pops another!

hi ,

yep one worry after another for me to ...the CBT my doctor said should help with that , re-jig the pattern of thinking , anx or negative , i think will take some time as , havnt got like i am overnight has been 3 years now or so , very bad this year TBH ...
so will take time to see any benafits i guess . ..
my doc did say o me that some of the claaes for CBT are on line /phine calls these days so will have to see.

i do feel generally better having a good natter with others about things , face to face to , and helps being on here to with all the lovely ladies in here , bit of extra support ..

my health anx , i went to docs only monday just gone to ..as had breast pain all weekend and was so worried , she examined me said was fine and u know since then my a
pain has got a bit better , maybe now im not focusing on it .. i dont know , but i just couldnt stop worrying ,anx .so thought i have to go , but like my doc said i am constantly feeding my anx by doing this ...said next time i should ,just take deep breath and try not to panic and give it 2 weeks to see if things improve ...chances r they will but if they dont 2 weeks isnt an unreasnable amount of time to leave something to see.
easyer said than done , when i go my good and bad devil on my shoulder telling me to go ...(if you know what i mean )

Oh i know what you mean. Definately easier said than done. I have the good and bad devil too. I feel like im constantly arguing with myself! Its exhausting.

Sorry your anx is worse lately. Ive has this for 17 years (not as bad as this year though but still a struggle) i feel about 80 and im only 24! Good point about how it will take more time to see improvements from CBT..im too impatient!

Health anx is awful. I had a bad time with it last year.
Once you get these results hopefully you can bury the worry and be reassured. In the meantime its good to be able to post here and get it all off your chest isn't it.

yes it is thanks for listening to me today and hope iv helped you to ..right best go get my darlings from school ..
how many DC do you have ? i have DD almost 10 yikes...and DS just turned 8 ..

catch you later .

Hi all,

choclab- hope you're ok, glad your gp is so supportive. Hopefully the scans will come back conclusive.

piggy- so sorry you have had a few anxious days. You are doing fantastically well- I also left a job after about a month as was having such a bad time of it I just couldnt handle it. Am with pelvic concentrate on spending that credit! Hope you have a lovely time in London and the train journey goes as well as it can.

pelvic they really are such a p.i.a, bloody stretch marks. I already looked like I swallowed a beach ball!
Sorry to hear about your cat/ bird problem. It is horrible, I dont think you could of done anymore and feeding them at this time of year is lovely as many have young to feed I think- I've been watching Springwatch

blissa i really admire your strength to pick yourself up and be busy- I need to do more of that. I worry my anxiety does have a thread of Health issues about it. My mw innocently said I need a post natal smear after the birth etc am really worried about that esp. since she said "we dont want another a jade" how horrible is that? She is often rather blunt and I'm very emotional and sensitive anyway.
Am dreading going in hosp.(i hate them had a simple tonsil removal went wrong then bled internally for 6 hours before they decided to sitch me up and pump my stomach. Had another op then this nurse just kept making me cry and they wouldnt let me go home).
Get so stressed just thinking about going in, complete lack of control, worrying about the baby is he going to be ok. Having to trust others even dp tbh in this situation is going to be hellish. Had a few scares in this pregnancy I'm almost expecting something bad to happen
armadillo 6 weeks eek not long! I have 3 weeks max am impatient now sounds awful but i'm never going to be ready for the unknown am much more worried about the hospital experience rather than the pain so just want to get on with it now. Hope your app. went well and you are doing ok.

Sorry run out of steam on this post! Hope I havent missed anyone!

Hope everyone is having a good Wed, the sun is out so hopefully that's a good sign!

Lola and the ever expanding bump

Bloody hell its been busy on this thread the last couple of days! Ok the story is as follows, went to my lovely gp and explained the whole story of too early period and I don't think I said this the last time, that I had slight spotting after having sex with my DH!!! (which happened a day after my periods stopped) Anyhow she was great and we went through everything as in my smears are uptodate, history of mild PCOS. She checked my stomach which was fine, tested my urine and gave me a pregnancy test ( which was negative!) Doctor believes it is nothing sinister but is sending me for a trans vaginal scan. She also said spotting after sex is quite common. So I have to organise that and my gut feeling is that everything is hormonal and I'll be fine(touch wood) Do you know what is funny and I would like opinions please! My period that was 16/17 days was 3 days full on and then stopped suddenly and my period this week has been the same, previously it used to last about 5/6 days...
Anyway I feel a lot better and I will be glad when everything is sorted. I am going to read back all the posts now and I'll be back!!!

choclab - no problem thanks for listening to me too! I enjoyed the chat! I have 2 DD's, 4 year old and 5 month old.

Kildare - im glad you are feeling better, Its good that the doctor went through everything with you. I hope you sleep a little easier tonight

Thislittlesisterlola - i felt like you do about hospital when i was at the end of my pregnancy with both DD's. Was having c sections both times so knew i would have to stay in for a few days. Turned out ok i think because of the morphine i was given, i felt calmer than i have in years! But no wonder you are anxious about it after your experience! I hope you have a lovely understanding team of midwives. I told mine about my anxiety because i didn't think i would cope and they were all very understanding and absolutely lovely. Maybe you could mention it?

I have just had a rubbish CBT session. Felt panic creep upon me and at one point had to leave the room for a few minutes to get a grip of myself absolutely gutted but DH has spoken sense to me, i am very tired after a few really late nights and this always seems worse when im tired. Trying not to dwell on it and to focus on making tomorrow a better day but still....am quite upset tonight Was supposed to go to tesco after CBT but came straight home. And suprise suprise, i feel absolutely fine now And breathe....no point in getting upset now, tomorrow is another day and all that...

Im off to read some of the older posts to kind of get to know everyone so i know where im up to

Hi Kildare , glad you have been to GP , and feel alot calmer now , i as you prob have read have bad health anxiety , and to have a concern DOWN there ..so i am having the same scan poss ? im having an ultra scan and a internal one , and waiting for appt , and had bloods done to check hormones .
i get very heavy period for 2 days then slows down and stops suddenly to sometimes to return a day later , lighter ..i put down to stress /anxiety .

HI neverenoughtime ,
to here your CBT didnt go to well , was it something that was said made you panic do you think ?
try not to be to hard on your self you made good progress just by going you know ...!
its not easy....but i think you are doing really well .
glad you can talk to your DH about it , and he is supportive thats a real help .
Tescos will still be there tomorrow....and hope you get a good nights sleep and feel bit better in the morning .

Ah thanks choc! When i think back it was suddenly feeling hot that set it off. Then i felt light-headed and then quite sick I started thinking i may faint i know by now that all it is is panic, but still i let it take over. Sigh.

Yep will do tesco tomorrow after the nursery run. Definately need to go tomorrow because we are bringing DD's little friend home for lunch and play, need to get some nice food in!

Im off to bed i think. I bought a meditation CD, its quite good so may listen to that.

I was thinking of you all during my panic It really helped to remember that im not the only one going through this. But i seem to calm down and then start panicking again after only a minute or so..exhausting.