Fighting Our Way Back Up - the depression list thread!

[MathsMadMummy]

Thanks to ToccataAndFudge for the name

Right, so this is where those of us with depression can write our lists of daily achievements!

...hopefully tomorrow's list will be better than today's...

yeah I have just put my two to bed and there is a shouted conversation going on. 'Mum, ds2 is blathering to himself'. 'No I not blathering to myself!'

argh where's my wine?!

Evening All,

I share your pain Alle, ds is now finally in bed as he made a new friend (the little boy next door) so has been out playing since we got home from nursery. I put him in the bath and washed his hair. He decided he wanted it blow dried!!! I swear he gets more like his dad.

My day has been ok met the guy I am seeing for coffee. It was ok I suppose, not totally convinced on him tbh.

The two idiots have been in touch again!!! but this time I have asked a friend to call and deal with it as I don't have the energy left to do so.

I have spent the rest of the day organising interviews for this week.

Sorry been very unfaithful - been struggling, started another thread about it. And life is manic. Seem to have a bit more energy, did some cleaning yesterday so the house looks ok.

Our day off tomorrow phew. Lie-in ds permitting, silly bum feel out of bed this morning, had legs dangling out then slid off. he was all shocked and sobbed his little heart out.

Hope you are all coping. Will post properly soon x

oh can you link to other thread willsurvive?

oh poor ds, hope he's recovered a bit.

Morning everyone.

I am going to try and get some stuff done today as I spent yesterday doing very little.

I need to do my online technical test, finish up the house work and actually clean the house, buy more paint to finish the hall and deal with some uni stuff. Wish me luck I have a feeling I might need it.

morning everyone - I went to bed reasonably early for me last night (12.30) with the downstairs all still lovely and tidy.

Unfortunately DS3 woke up at 2am........and took 2hrs to settle again, I'd put him back in bed, he would go quiet for 5/10 minutes.........long enough for me to start dozing off again, then get up and go to the stair gate and call for me that he wanted to go downstairs.

Am absolutely shattered this morning, want to try and plough on with my washing/drying today though......am still using the radiators (so shorts and t-shirts in the house ) as I still haven't got my rotary washing line from exH's yet. Still - hopefully not long until I get it.

LM that is at least 3 days worth of work from the sound of it - try not to set yourself up to fail!!You've had a tough time.

Toccata urgh on the lack of sleep - makes everything harder. Hope today goes ok for you.

Alle here

I'm ok, had worship group practice last night, got to sing some tricky alto parts/harmonies which I love, followed by quick chat and big hug with a close friend also there. And some sleep. DH was awake early on his day off poor him, but I snoozed on and off until 9.15 when I got ds up who was still asleep. But then we were all in the big bed together and I just felt so so sad again, as if I had clay in my stomach, could hardly breath.

Today:
Shopping
Folding away washing
Go out as a family for lunch/fun
DS's physio
Daughter of a friend coming to cut my hair

Well I have done my test so that is the most important thing done.

Have sorted out the dried washing into piles just need to put them away. Have taken more rubbish out to the bin shed, will actually need to go to the dump at some point.

I am making another cup of coffee and sitting down for a bit.

well so much for trying to relax and ope with everything. While having some time out as a family by the canal my bag has been stolen with everything in it, phones, keys, purse. Car has been collected for safekeeping and lock change, my bike is at the station in another town and the keys have been stolen too. I'm a mess. Saw it happen in slow motion. As if i could take much more!!

I am so sorry to hear about your bag WillSurvive

I had something similar happen a couple of years ago and it was awful.

I have done way too much today and am suffering for it right now.

Have been to the dump twice, tidied and sort the garage, dealt with the washing, done ironing, cleaned oven and sofas. Collected ds from nursery. Arranged 3 job interviews and dealt with recruitment people.

I really should be preparing for this interview tomorrow but all I want to do is sleep.

Oh Willsurvive that is terrible. Poor you. I know how horrible it feels when something like that happens (been burgled once, car broken into once).

We've had a fairly busy day: school runs, nursery runs, Beavers run, feeding, playing, amusing, entertaining, bathing, story-telling, night-night zzzz

I'm floundering so I want to dump on your thread

Today I have ... failed to give up smoking again. But got myself to the shops for some baccy, so that would be an achievement of sorts. I cut the first 'harvest' off my new herb plants & froze them, which is a definite plus. I ate too much. I spent all day on mumsnet, except for the hour taken up with shouting at BT, who have cut me off (I lost the argument.)

I feel very out of touch with my own feelings. I don't know what to do about my Mum. I need more support than I'm getting. Poor me!!

OK, so I am going to cook a meal with fresh veg & everything. That will make 3 achievements, counting the tobacco
Thank you for the dump.

Update:
The proper dinner must have done me good ... I've just volunteered for some things on do-it.org.uk. That definitely counts for a whole bunch of achievements

See how helpful your thread is? Even without replies??!

Glad you found it helpful Grace

You're welcome to stay on here

Right off to try and sleep after today - just been crying again so hey ho - friend picking me up to give me a lift to work at 6.30 so not a long night.

One positive thing about today was the enormously sweet response from friends, so much support and offers of help bless them.

a mixed day - had no motivation this morning/early afternoon, not helped that I couldn't leave the house as I wasn't certain if my order was arriving today or tomorrow.

Did NOTHING until then.

Then it arrived - complete with my pink converse boots - so that cheered me up no end.,

Then after school my poor old bank account took a whalloping, had to buy

DS1 - trainers for school (PE), Trainers for home
DS2 - trainers for home, plimsolls for school
DS3 - trainers (well ok he didn't need trainers althugh his old ones were looking at bit tatty as he's been growing upwards recently rather than increasing his foot size and he was threatening to kick of BIG style with his brothers trying on new shoes and he wasn't).

Set me back £45.......and that was in the cheap shoe shop.

Still they were very happy with their new shoes, and as I got them new school shoes over Easter, and bought slippers just before Easter it means that ALL of their footwear is no more than 1-2 months old.

Then after dinner DS1 and I had a huge spat, I lost it with him, and sent him to bed early, then when I put his brothers to bed gave him an opportunity to come down and talk about it..........where he promptly kicked off again.

On the plus side though my last load of washing is hanging up to dry now.............downside of that is that I now have 2 large baskets worth of ironing to do .

Still haven't touched my piles of letters/paperwork.........which has resulted in the free school meals being cancelled (a fuck up by them really not me - they decided I was no longer eligble according to "the hub".......but I've been eligble for 2yrs now.......and sent me a letter to send back to them to prove I stil was.....and it got lost in the pile of letters that need sorting >

Infant school secretary is going to send a new form home with DS2 for me to reapply and then fax it over to them........thankfully Junior school still appears to be giving DS1 his.......but infants had to stop today as another child needs it.

morning everyone.

Willsurvivethis - hope you're doing ok this morning after yesterday

I had a terrible nights sleep - couldn't sleep AT ALL until 2.30am (was really really wide awake), and then DS3 woke up at 5 and insisted on coming with me on the sofa......which I relented as I was too tired to keep putting him back in his bed over and over again.

Then I slept in - thankfully DS1 and 2 out to school on time, but will need to go over this morning to drop DS2's lunch and PE kit off as I didn't manage to sort it before he left for school.

I have an enormous pile of ironing which is my main challenge for today. If I get that all done this morning then I can pretty much relax for the rest of the day.........BitterandTwisted is coming over for a little while this afternoon

Am very very tired now though...

Hi all, I'm not feeling too great today. I couldn't sleep either. I was tired just anxiety stopping me dropping off and waking up at 5am with crippling anxiety, stomach in knots, and it's really getting me down. I feel so guilty for not being 100% happy as I have everything to be happy for. I'm fed up of it. I want to be the old me again. I don't even know what I am anxious about. Why did having DS3 mess me up so much? I want to be more like my friends at DS1's school. They just go with the flow. I've lost the ability to go with the flow.

You all seem so active at the mo. Fancy coming over here to do some cleaning?

Willsurvive I hope you are ok today.

Hi all

Think I slept about 4 hours. Woke up before 5 feeling sick with stress. PTSD + having bag stolen = nightmare.

Dear friend picked me up to take me to station this morning, was pathetically grateful to see his face and have a hug. Feel so unsafe

I am so sorry wilsurvive.

I didn't sleep well either kept dreaming about how I wish my life was. I have been to my job interview so fingers crossed.

Ihad some hope last nght as I thought I might have found a new doc but I live too far . I honestly want to give up am meant to be taking my ads but I can't even manage that.

Am hoping to head home soon via b and q to get pAint and then sleep

well done for making it to the interview - hope it went well

I'm not sure I'l get the ironing done this morning

Did get DS3 dressed, make DS2's packed lunch, found his PE kit and took them to the school. Also filled in the form for free school meals while I was there.

Went to the shop on the way back

Going to at least try and get tidied up a bit (not too bad as I've managed to keep on top of the downstairs since my blitz on Sunday) before Bitter&Twisted comes over around 1

Toccata, I'm slightly releived to hear other people suffer real-life cockups due to the post mountain

So ... my objective today is: Open the post. Doesn't matter if I don't tackle the contents yet - I'm aiming to open & read it all. Without melting down.

Hope everyone else gets one of their things done today

oh all my post is open.........just not sorted

have't finished tidying up - although it's not too bad. B&T texted a few minutes ago to say she's on her way so shall go and put the ketle on

how was I/v, LM?

Chaos reigns here as usual, had to travel up to work to pick up exam scripts :S

Interview went well so well in fact they called a little while ago to say that it is looking good

I also got a letter from the tribunal people today saying that I do have a case against my former employer That will be fun but good fun I want them to hurt for what they did to me during h's illness and death.

I haven't done any house work or anything today. I went out and bought ds new pj's for his bday and a present for my lodger so being so fab recently.

No more phone calls from the gruesome twosome, am banking on them turning up tomorrow so shall need to think about what exactly I am going to say to them on my doorstep.

Alle - How is the marking going?
TF - Have you done any ironing? I hate that horrible stuff wish I could pay someone to do it for me.

oh that's sounds hopeful! and good news about the tribunal as well.

Haven't done any ironing yet - had BitterandTwistedChoreDodger over for coffee (and lots of smokes ) this afternoon and she's not long since left. Will do some at some point before bedtime (boys) though.