anorak would be grateful for some friendly support

[anorak]

Further to chatting here I have realised that I am becoming depressed. I hope you don't mind my posting this thread asking for some day-to-day support for a little while. It would help me not to feel so alone. TIA xxx

V pleased to hear you are getting a w/e away, Anorak, and I do hope you enjoy it. Enjoying things is worth it's weight in...enjoying things!

Hello all you lovely people. I am feeling somewhat better - the anxiety has died right down now. Still not right though. Very very tired. Slept 10 hours last night and could easily drop off now.

Just been shopping and bought the tissue salts fairi recommended, some valerian and a yoga DVD. Also a few new clothes (v cheapo) just to cheer me up a bit.

Glad to hear that you're feeling better anorak.

Still sleeping 10 hours a night! Feel the anxiety creeping back in here and there but so far managed to keep it at bay.

Have to take DD2 to have 5 teeth out at 12 o'clock. Should be fun

rescue remedy is good for anxiety.

Yes spacecadet I have a bottle of that lined up ready in case I need it.

There was a confusing array of Bach's flower remedies in Holland & Barretts actually. I was trying to work out from their directory whether there were specific ones that would be just right. But in the end I just got the rescue remedy. Anyone know anything about the other remedies and how one's supposed to use them?

Anorak, I have a book on this, Rescue Remedy is a great start. It would be good for you to go to a store that can dispense and mix the flower essenses for you depending on your symptoms. Each flower has a specific effect. I have my middle son on Rescue Remedy (he suffers with attention deficit).

it will take time to feel better- by that I mean more than one day. The important thing to do to avoid your anxiety and frustration (which I'm reading between the lines), is to give yourself some healing time in your day - EVERY day. This would be even only half an hour if that is all you can manage - but that is enough to have an indulgence of some sort. One of my favourite pick-me ups is to have a steamy, candlelit bath, with an essential oil and rock salt - if I'm achy and down I sometimes put camomile tea in it, too (lavender flowers are great too - if you have some). What ever you choose, it needs to be something for you alone - where you can nurture your self... this would be the starting point to get out of the emotional rut that your're in.

When you have been through as much as you have, its hard to remind yourself just how special and deserving you are of love - and very often - the love you're needing is your own.

rescue remedy is great in that it contains flowers which have calming effects, i have used the one which you can just place on your tongue in drops, also gereniun oil is calming, you could burn some in an oil burner, lavender is an age old remedy, try a few drops in the bath and on your pillow.

sunchowder I'd love to hear more about your ds's use of flower remedies, if you don't mind telling me about it. Does it work for him?

Thanks for your kind words, fairi and spacecadet. fairi I do wish you were still within visiting distance!

Have been taking the tissue salts and valerian plus my normal daily vitamin/mineral dose and always take immune system herbs. Also this morning had a go at the yoga DVD and did the whole 55 mins plus a thousand steps on the strider. Hoping the exercise and supplements will help.

Had a stressful time taking DD1 for a hospital appointment and had no option but to take the other two with me. DS was a handful all right. But off out to a meet-up soon having dinner with mumsnetters which will be lovely.

spacecadet I was thinking of trying some aromatherapy candles or suchlike while doing the yoga. I wonder which one would be best for that?

Though it is hard to relax when DS keeps bursting into the room and asking when he can have Fireman Sam back on

Anorak, if you enjoy the yoga, I would consider trying a class. I used to "hate" exercise classes with a passion - I seemed to be the only one with a red face, wobbly bits and absolutely no sense of rythm. But yoga is diferent, very calm and not cardio, so no unsightly sweat, and a good instructor can hugely enhance both your aptitude and enjoyment. And it's a way to do things with other people who don't already know you as an emotional crutch - the videos are a god step, but still quite a solitary pursuit.

It's just that I'm awful at trying to follow classes. I get it all wrong and make a fool of myself

Honestly, I do know what you mean. I once hit a colleauge in the face during a boxercise class she had foolishly persuaded me to go along to. But begionners yoga isn't like that- all very slow and steady. YOu are meant to take your time getting into the poses, and if you happen to be breathing in the wrong rhythm it's hardly noticeable is it? Plus, IME, classes (at least utside of trendy bits of London) tend not to be inhabited by the sort of pre-pubescent looking gym bunny who can do an hours aerobics without putting a (perfectly highlighted and straightened) hair out of place

agree with Prufrock. It everyone makes a mistake somewhere - I always got my left and right mixed up in my antenatal yoga classes - they are soo soo used to that kind of thing. Also - you could make any blunder a joke - which becomes an opportunity to break the ice with strangers and get talking about stuff (or it did in my classes).

As for the Fireman sam prob - why not get him an extra long video or have a special box of toys and or videos which are reserved only for when you need your daily timeout. That way, they become a treat that he looks forward to.

I also wish I was still within visiting distance - I miss you very much and would love to have a good old chin wag.

...and... along the bath idea - rose petals or other flowers are great to add in too. As for essential oils - try things like neroli (orange blossom) - it is a lovely soothing oil which helps your mind to clear and uplift. Other great nurturing oils are rose, sandalwood (!!), frankinscence, geranium, lavender, camomile. One of my favourite combinations (which I add to rock salt) is neroli and sanalwood in a 5:1 ratio of drops (its great to mix up a batch and keep it in a jar - just adding spoonfuls to your bath) - also a great crafty gift if you glass paint the jar.

anorak, so sorry you are feeling like this. sometimes its just so hard to believe that these things keep happening...you feel like your life is someone's big joke and find it even harder to believe when the next kick down comes your way. you think "surely, ive had enough now, surely nothing else can happen"...and then it does. you get tired of ploughing on regardless...like trying to wade through mud. then something else comes your way and autopilot is switched on because you just dont know how to take any more, thats when silly, daily things just seem too much...but somehow you get through it...and you wont realise how well you did until a long time afterwards. then you suddenly realise things got better and you didnt even know. its a great day when that happens. dont know what else to say except lots of love xx

anorak, if you want to use some aromatherapy candles or oils, go for the following.
orange blossom;soothing and rejuvanating
patchouli;promotes relaxation
rose absolute;helps ebb away emotional distress
rosewood;natural and balancing
lavender;relaxing
linden blossom;deeply relaxing
jasmine; has euphoric properties
clary sage;induces a sense of well being
geranium;refreshing and balancing for emotional harmony.
ylang-ylang;comforting
valerian;brings comfort
the ones i use the most are;geranium, lavender, ylang-ylang, clary sage and patchouli.
try burning something like ylang-ylang whilst doing yoga, then take a bath, possibly with a couple of drops of lavander added, then burn some geranium oil before going to sleep.
sandalwood also has relaxing properties.

Thanks for your posts. Nightowl, you're so kind. I am beginning to feel much better. Had a lovely meal last night with 5 other mners and that was a good pick me up. Have decided I might try a yoga class at a later stage once I have used my DVD a few times and mastered some of the positions.

Will get some aromatherapy candles next time I go shopping. xxx

I meant to ask, fairi - who cleans your bath? I have visions a lovely relaxing bath with rose petals or camomile flowers and then the fabulously chilled-out fairi spending two hours scooping out debris from the plughole before trying to unblock the drain...

just wanted to say before falling preg, i did pilates which is slightly gentler than yoga and wonderfully relaxing.

Getting the petals out of the bath is easy! Just have a tea strainer handy when you pull the plug out . With the camomile tea, I make a strong batch of tea first and strain it before I add it to the bath. If it does make a yellow ring, soap and water on a face cloth when you are next in the bath is all you need! (suppose I do the lazy route!)

Had a huge row with dh last night, all over nothing. And I just went to pieces. Head banging, inability to control my breathing, wild heartbeat, total anxiety. Have hardly slept and feel as if someone had used my head as a football.

Sometimes you just want to be taken away to the funny farm and allowed to sit in an armchair and stare out of the window for a few months. Anyone else ever feel like that?

Yes - I have in the last 7 months, learning to cope with two little ones - who have 18months between them. At night - the one can set the other one off unless we are extremely careful - and sometimes you are so tierd that you forget to do what you should or are not so careful and you end up being awake all night - and then forced to keep functioning in the day too.... I've got to the point where I am so tierd and parented out that I get scared I'll hurt them, so I just walk out to another room and litterly stare into space for a while - hearing their crying in the background... after a little while, I gather myself and muster another wind.

I've been surving like that for a while - and now all of a sudden, I'm out of the big haze - baby is now 7 months and his brother just 2 and suddenly we are feeling like a family and not a torture chamber! What I'm trying to say is - the fog will lift soon.

My other coping mechanism, for dealing with the physical exhaution and following burn out, has been homeopathic remedies. It might do you worlds of good to go to a good homeopath to get a constitutional remedy. These are selected specifically for you - based on your physical and largely your emotional state and have an incredibly balancing effect. They also have the bonus of strengthening your immune function.

Lots of love, light and big hugs to you Anorak!

Well we've been down to the river for a picnic and the children spent hours paddling, fishing, building a dam and hopping across the stepping stones. We picked some blackberries and sat on a rug just watching them all afternoon.

I still feel tired and sore but as if tomorrow might be better.

I'd begun to think I was going to be okay and maybe wouldn't need to go away but last night has convinced me that I really do. So now dh and I are making solid plans for that. Also have been making sure to take the tissue salts, vitamins and minerals, valerian and my immune system herbs.

fairi, I knew you would understand what I meant. Thank you for being so supportive. It means all the more because I know you really do understand. xxx