Anyone else struggling with anxiety?

[mooseloose]

I've been off work nearly three months now and am just really fed up with myself now. i've refused any meds but I just cant get over it. I started my counselling last week, and am hopeful she can sort me out. it was caused by by son having an accident, and juggling work etc which just got too much and made me cry.
Id had a lot of panic attacks but they are getting better but now I just feel worried when i go out, and that i want to cry.
Today I just can't breathe. I don't know if i'm worse today because i'm due on too.
I just really feel i've lost my way and lost confidence in myself, and i dont know what to do to get myself back.
I'm all crabby and wound up with people too - no patience.
I think the doctor is fed up with me too and i'm also worried she won't keep giving me sick notes, i'm never usually ill.......

Hi Down. I know what you mean. usually I am chatty and cheerful, always happy. I feel like I am pretending very hard at the moment.
I think thats why i feel hit hard because this isn't me at all. I don't like the person that I feel i am at the moment.

It's good to know I am not the only one going through it. I just feel like I am putting on a front all the time, and when I get home, I sort of deflate and become myself again.

eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing,a form of therapy used to resolve disturbing or traumatic life events.
It is to do with tapping the elbow/knee and eye movements and is used for working on a disturbing memory,sort of "brain reprocessing "or retraining.I think its recommended [as well as cbt] for traumatic type events.

Thanks - I have never heard of that. Sounds interesting...

Not seeing her this week - I have my homework to do - me time, breathing, relaxing. Next appointment is Tuesday.

Also ds is back in hospital tomorrow for a review. He may need another operation. They decide tomorrow. Perhaps this is on my mind? Trying to keep it away though......
If i don't post for the next day or so, you will know I am at the hospital!

hope it goes well for you tomorrow and you get the decision about his treatmentx

Hi all, hope your day is getting better moose.

The emdr sounds very interesting morningsun.

Hi Down, I know exactly what you mean, I put on the smile and chat away to people and inside I feel lightheaded and like I'm going to hyperventilate (sp?).

Not feeling too bad today, not looking forward to the school run in a bit as ds can be a bit of a horror and I worry about him having a tantrum I can't deal with or running off and I can't run after him. He had a major tantrum this morning, rolling on the floor, refusing to put his coat on, when we needed to get out the door. Luckily dp was here so he picked him up, got his coat on and put him in the car, but if he hadn't been I wouldn't have got the girls to school on time, as I can't do those things.

Hope all goes well tomorrow moose, will be thinking of you x

Blissa, do you ever tell people in real life how you feel?
When I come home I just want to hide in bed away from everything and everyone.

I have started to tell dp some of how I feel, since I was in hospital. Before this happened, no, and I don't tell him everything, he finds it all hard to understand. I've realised now that I suffered from anxiety before I was in hospital, looking back I'd get light headed, tight chested, heart racing, etc quite often.

I have days where I feel ok and days when I could, as you say, hide away from the world in bed and sleep for a week. Sometimes I can tell myself "today will be a bad day, and hopefully tomorrow will be better".

How about you, do you have anyone you can talk to?

I talk to my dp a bit but to be honest he has other things to worry about.

I know what you mean, my dp is self employed and is very stressed at the moment. He flipped last week, it all got too much, and he said some horrible things to me, but that started us off talking and I told him that I don't expect him to have all the answers or fix my problems, but just listen to me, even if he thinks I'm talking rubbish. That seemed to help him and although I don't tell him everything, I feel better knowing I could.

What are your problems, do you think?

I had a pulmonary embolism just before Christmas and the anxiety that I felt during that time was overwhelming, I suffered lots of panic attacks and just had this huge fear hanging over me all the time. A lot of my fears are that it will come back and the thought of leaving my kids terrifies me.

As for my anxieties before this happened to me, I don't know. I know that for a year after dd2 (now 5) was born I was deppressed but I managed to come out of that alone. The panicky feelings I experience can happen anywhere, drs waiting room, queuing in a shop, driving, I've just never really registered them as anxiety before now.

How about you?

hello all. Just back from hosp. Ds didn't need an operation today - review in three months. I thought I would feel an extraodinary relief, but I haven't yet. Thought I'd feel cheerful, but it's just the same, which i feel odd.
I was worried really because he was so poorly when he woke up from the last op ( he is 9, and a right softie, I feel very protective of him - more so that his younger or older brothers).
I felt desperate yestaerday, and kept wanting to cry. I tried to tell dh, and he just mutters 'you'll be fine' which makes me feel worse, like I'm making it up - it's not visible is it! I feel better than that today, but not hysterically cheerful an normal as i expected!
Are you all ok?

Hi moose,i'm so glad your ds didn't need an op today
Do you think the accident that he had gave you such a shake up it just has to work its way out of your system now?
I think that will happen with time.
Could it be as you are very close and connected to your ds you feel it all in excruciating depth and want to take it away for him/wish it hadn't happened?
Its been traumatic,it won't go instantly but it will go.

Hi morning. Definately that which started it. I think a cocktail of the shock of his accident, the severity of it and the speed the docs reacted to it, the shock of the first op not working, and another second long operation which left him feeling very poorly afterwards. The fact that I was worried about work, and juggling ds and making up work hours, and feeling guilt about both of them. Then i made a mistake at work and it was like it all came crashing down on me. I just cried and cried at work, and then I couldn't stop shaking. I think (I know)i just got in such a state that i can't calm down. And now its a problem every day, and i feel angry and cross about it.

I know.
How is his arm functioning,and is it painful or still in cast?

Hi, his arm is mostly ok really. His scar is still very red, but I'm sure it will fade.He is about 30 gegrees off straight down, and not so good up. He has too much bone above his elbow now, and thats what they are deciding whether to open him and take some away. Not life threatening i know, just ongoing!

Hi, glad it went ok for ds today moose. The fact that his treatment is on going makes it harder to forget what happened doesn't it? Hope you feel more positive tomorrow.
xx

Hi moose and blissa have you looked at the Human Givens Institute website,its quite good and the book on there is also good
www.hgi.org.uk

I know how you feel moose cos my dd has health probs and is often in hospital, my dh often says she will be ok which does stress me out x

Have had lots of irrational thinking today think i am gona def up my tablets, the doc put me on the mini pill and its made me feel crap, its given me pains n my legs and i am stressing its a blood clot (even though its like hormonal growing pains i used to get when i was a teenager). arrrrrrh angry with myself

Hi, I know what you mean mummy. I'm okay today, just been for a run, and feel shaky now. I told Dh, and he just says 'you'll be fine now - ds is okay now'.......
am going to look at that website now - thanks

Hi, have got a really tight chest today, on the right, sort of a bit in the middle. Don't suffer with heartburn or indigestion, so I don't know what they feel like!
But this is like a funny pain....
I've been a bit out of breathe lately, like deep breaths (panic) is it linked do you think? I've also got a bit of a cough started last night.......

Hi moose just a thought but maybe you have a cough and cold coming and the chestiness you have from that is making you aware of your breathing and remember the panic attacks?
I feel a bit short of breath at the start of colds sometimesit usually settles after day or two.If its a butterfly feeling/tingly sort of pain i've had that with anxiety before.

Hi, must be the theme of the day! I've had a cold and tickly cough since Thursday and yesterday and today have felt very tight chested. I think its just the muscles where I have been coughing, my back and shoulders ache, but its hard trying to convince myself its not anything else x

Perhaps out of breath cos it's revving up to something? i don't usually get anciety linked to thinking I'm ill, so hope its not that!
It's settled now I think, so hopefully something and nothing, but it made me wory. I haven't been coughing so not that.
Did you have a good weekend? I had a busy one with a party for ds to go to, and a friend back - thought it would give me an easy afternoon, but they were in and out the garden aND LOOKING for batteries for toys all afternoon - no wonder I was shaky afterwards for the night!
In a dilema about Wed. Supposed to be going out with girls from work for meal and theatre, booked and paid for ages ago. But now I'm in a tiz and a worry about going. Six for the meal, 20 to the theatre. DH says dont go if it will make you worse. My mum says go, how do you know you will be bad. And I guess i should be going out BUT I'm just being protective of myself as I dont want really shaly hands jelly legs and a panic again. But i am supposed to be thinking about work again in 3 weeks when my note ends.
Any ideas girls?
Had a panic at till in tesco sat. Legs went to jelly, went hot and my breathing went - just because she was rushing my things through too quick! But i stayed and levelled it without too much fuss, so was pleased!