Anyone else struggling with anxiety?

[mooseloose]

I've been off work nearly three months now and am just really fed up with myself now. i've refused any meds but I just cant get over it. I started my counselling last week, and am hopeful she can sort me out. it was caused by by son having an accident, and juggling work etc which just got too much and made me cry.
Id had a lot of panic attacks but they are getting better but now I just feel worried when i go out, and that i want to cry.
Today I just can't breathe. I don't know if i'm worse today because i'm due on too.
I just really feel i've lost my way and lost confidence in myself, and i dont know what to do to get myself back.
I'm all crabby and wound up with people too - no patience.
I think the doctor is fed up with me too and i'm also worried she won't keep giving me sick notes, i'm never usually ill.......

Hi everyone. I saw this thread and I wanted to say hello.

I also suffered from anxiety and panic throughout my 20s, and in my early 30s I had a breakdown, which began with a panic attack that lasted for 3 days straight! It wasn't nice. I had to go on extended sick leave from work and went on anti-depressants and had a lot of therapy. I did get better, and even happy, even though I never thought I would. So maybe that can give you some hope.

Also, I wanted to suggest something that I hadn't seen anyone mention. When I think of my recovery, if I had to chose one thing that helped me the most it was a book. I know it sounds silly, but of everything - counselling, anti-depressants, etc, - this one book made the most difference for me in learning to deal with anxiety. If you haven't read it, I can't recommend it enough. It's by Claire Weekes and called "Self-Help for your Nerves". It was written eons ago, so some of the language is very old-fashioned. However, it was the most soothing, comforting thing I ever encountered and the relief it provided was immense. Basically, she explains the physiology behind anxiety, and uses a gentle tone that helps you give yourself a break from it. She goes through all symptoms, (churning stomach, racing heart, etc), and different types of suffering, (obsession, depression), and gives you very simple ways to soothe yourself.

I know I am gushing, but whenever I think about what she did for me I can't help it. One of my therapists once told me that when you are suffering anxiety, you have to be your own mother and tell yourself 'everything is going to be fine'. As a mother I know how important that is for our dc. But, I found it very difficult to do for myself. Her book is written in that mother's voice, and I think that is why it helped me so much. The other reason why I think this book was so amazing is that while it did not cure me on the spot, (that would have been a miracle), I have never had another panic attack since. Many times, I have felt one "brewing" inside me, but the book taught me how to stop it from spiralling.

I wish I could send you all a copy! (Of course some of you may have already read it, and not thought it helpful at all.. if so, I'm sorry to have gushed ).

I really wish you all the very best today. And sorry this is SO LONG!

hi everyone glad your weekends went ok if a bit up and down.Blissa hope you're feeling better for being out.
Hi serious cat thanks for some perspective from your own eperiences~very helpful and i think i'll get that book!One thing I remember from when i felt really bad was that the counsellors weren't as nice people as i thought they would be,and when you're that sensitive,it really matters , so i know what you mean about common sense and kindness.
Keep posting with us and are you feeling good atm?

This chap does hypnotherapy CDs and there are free downloads on his site. Quite good really.

www.andrewjohnson.co.uk/

I am going to try hynotheraphy - got an appointment for next week at GP's suggestion (one he recommended). I have been depressed and anxious for years but only realised it when I started getting physical symptoms 3 years ago. Kept going to GP as thought I had some terrible illness and I am sure they have me down as a loon!! Tried counselling and it has not worked as I know what my problems are but just can't seem to change them. GP has said that I need to 're-wire' my brain and that seems to make sense. Anyone else tried it??

Hi, I have been to Docs today and she has done as my Counsellor asked and given me a note for 4 weeks. I felt relieved when i came out that I wont have to ot back to docs now for a while, and i wont have to think about work too. I can just try and focus on me and get better. But i rang work to tell them and she wanted to come with HR and see me. I said no, as if I get upset at home, where else can i go. SO i have to go into work and see them.

JOLLYPIRATE - I have just looked at that website link that you posted and can I just say THANK YOU for posting it as I would never have found it myself. I have had a feeling of lightheadness on and off for 3 years and have been convinced that I have a brain tumour but I see that quite a few people on that site are reporting the same thing and I am so relieved and have just had a cry!!

Glad to now I am not the only one with fear...

It is like a constant feling of dread, does anyone else get this? My jaw clenched up so tight I could hardly talk at one point.

The fear just goes on and on...and about such stupid things, please let me know I am not alone in this.

fizz,you are definitely not alone,and the physical symptoms are awful,i know at one point i couldn't smile[and that is not me],and once shook all over after an emergency at home with my dh.I also had a burning sensation in the chest all the time.
Do you get some relief from it tho or is it all the time?
sympathies and > to you

It's just horrible fizz -especially to wake up in the morning and have that fear and dread in your stomach, and it just then washes over you like a wave, and that even before you have really opened your eyes. I think that is one of the worst bits of all this.

I don't even tell dh about a lot of the things that are so horrible. i just think that if you've never experienced anything like this then they really have no idea how devastating it feels, and how rock bottom it makes you. I cant even begin to explain it to a friend.

If someone had told me six months ago I could feel like this I wouldn't have believed them - I feel totally opposite to how I would usually be.

I had to speak to my manager today, and I told her how awful it is to wake up feeling this dread, and she says yes but it'll go. How does she know that, and I'm sure she thinks it's just a bit like a headache.

Feel like crying now.

Hi morningsun, (mooseloose, and others). I am well. one positive outcome of my experience is that it taught me to really pay attention to my moods, and to act quickly if I think I'm not coping. I have a close friend who also has anxiety/panic disorder and we confide in each other a lot.

The thing in the Claire Weekes book that was so helpful was that it taught me to understand the biological reasons for anxiety. Her theory is that once you become "sensitised" to anxiety you experience it more. So for example, normally if you hear a loud bang your heart may race for a second, but you don't think twice about it. BUT when you are sensitised to anxiety, if you hear a loud noise and your heart races you really notice it (with a sense of fear), then your stomach churns, or your hands tremble, or you feel lightheaded.. and then you start to experience all the feelings of dread and you have a panic attack. The trigger was something minor, but I wouldn't be focussed on the trigger, instead I would be convinced it was evidence that I was losing my mind. Reading that book helped me realise I wasn't losing my mind - my nervous system had gotten into a bad habit. In fact, one thing I remember clearly is the advice not to focus on 'why', instead to focus on recovery.

So, for me the trick to recovery was understanding that anxiety symptoms are just physiological responses, and if I distanced myself from them they became less scary. Eventually, my nervous system got over its bad habit - the symptoms started to fade, and a loud noise made my heart race it would end there. Now when I feel that fear rise inside me I don't fight it, I just don't react to it. I force myself to think in a calm, relaxed voice: "Oh well. It will go away if I don't feed it." And it does. If that makes sense.

I don't think I can explain it very well - so again, I really recommend the book. The title doesn't do it justice.

I don't know if I am helping, or being annoying, but I saw this thread today and it really reminded me of what I experienced. I hope I can help in some way since I have been there!

Seriouscat - you are being really helpful - I'm really interested in what you have to say. i am going to see if i can get a copy from th library. I know the no more panic site mentions it a lot too.
I think it's really helpful to talk to someone who has been there.

mooseloose
sending you hugs
it will go but it might take a while
I feel like i've climbed from the bottom to the top of a well and now i'm balancing on the top of the wall,nearly better but frightened of falling back down.But i learned a lot on the way up and am looking around me now,ready to move on but still a bit wobbly.

sorry x posts~computer was hijacked by ds1 mid post!

Hi mooseloose! Even if you don't read Weekes, or if you don't like it, I really do believe there is hope for anyone who suffers from anxiety. It's can be hard to see that when you are in it.

Here is something someone taught me once: Next time you have a wave of panic or fear, try to relax into it, rather than resist it. I found that really helpful. If you do it, and you find that the feeling is just a little bit less intense, then you can imagine that if you do that every time, and every time it becomes a bit less intense, there will be a point when it is no longer overwhelming.

Good night! And if you wake up feeling bad, get out of bed as quick as possible and do something. I know a lot of people have said this and I totally agree - keeping busy and distracted works!

morningsun i am exactly the same, my gp calls it being on the edge of a cliff wondering wether to fall in our stick it out at the top a bit longer. I have been back to my gp today as i feel i should up my tablets, i am like others on here have been through it all before and now know when my body needs extra assistance. My dd is poorly at mo so know need additional support, this thread is lovely to unburden yourself on and i am going to try and find that book. You will get through this mooseloose but it does take time and i have had to learn to know that it can happen again but you just know how to deal with it better you know the symtpoms before they take over you x I find if people have never suffered panic they dont really understand you so it is nice to have support on herex

I agree mummy, it's good to offload on here - its making a difference to me. I slept all night, and woke feeling nice too. lovely. Got to school ok, had a bit of a moment walking home. Took myself for a wander at the garden centre then,which was quite nice until i had enough! so a quite nice day so far

Hi all

Mooseloose- glad to hear you've had a good day. I managed to go into town today, all by myself. I had to get ds his birthday presents so just focused on doing that and not thinking anything bad would happen and it worked!

So was having a good day til ds just punched me in the chest! It wasn't hard, but has got me thinking horrible thoughts now. Will they ever go away

Bliss, but most of your day was good -well done.
I have to say I've had a really good day. Just one panic walking home from school. I can't believe it!

mooseless glad you had good day yesterday
How's everyone today?

RUBBISH! I had such a good day yesterday, that I just expected today to be the same. But no, shaky when i woke, with a thousand things tumbling around in my head.

Went to school, and went for a walk up the lane on the way home instead, and I just wanted to cry, so fed up again. Why???! I tried to concentrate on the blue sky and frosty fields, kept standing just to look at the view, noone about, talked to myself out loud like 'come on pull yourself together, get a paper, go home and have a cup of tea and a day doing nothing'.

So thats what I'm doing, a fat lot of nothing. Made the beds and washed up thats all.

My mum rang. I told her I was fed up today, and she said 'we all get days like that....' I just couldn't be bothered to argue back.

Hi Moose - pleased to see you still here and getting lots of ideas and support.

Sorry your Mum reacted the way she did, but she did ring you and obviously cares - maybe she feels helpless and distressed at hearing you sad ant not knowing how to help? When you feel stronger, try and tell her calmly how you are the moment, and suggest ways she may help (when I'm feeling bad Mum, it would really help if - you came over, went for a coffee with me, talked on the phone with me, listened mlore carefully or whatever).

I bet she will be pleased to have some pointers!

Thanks light - you always say nice things. I had a good chat with her last week, so she knows how i am, she bought me a book (just a fiction) and wrapped it up the other day, so she is lovely, but she's more of a come on lets get on type, get busy!

I just feel exhasperated when people say that, because they really have no idea that you have no control over it. I feel really positive in my head since i started counselling, but my body is a bit slow taking direction i think! It's like i have no control over it.

moose,ikwym about how you want to feel,and how youare actually feeling.I think its a mental processing that has to happen,by thinking it thru or going over it,or by emdr or similar technique.Your counselling will help you have you got it this week?

hi morning - what is emdr?

I suffer with anxiety. I put on a front and can come accross as in control and confident, but inside my hard is beating so fast and I am like a jelly.