Anyone else struggling with anxiety?

[mooseloose]

I've been off work nearly three months now and am just really fed up with myself now. i've refused any meds but I just cant get over it. I started my counselling last week, and am hopeful she can sort me out. it was caused by by son having an accident, and juggling work etc which just got too much and made me cry.
Id had a lot of panic attacks but they are getting better but now I just feel worried when i go out, and that i want to cry.
Today I just can't breathe. I don't know if i'm worse today because i'm due on too.
I just really feel i've lost my way and lost confidence in myself, and i dont know what to do to get myself back.
I'm all crabby and wound up with people too - no patience.
I think the doctor is fed up with me too and i'm also worried she won't keep giving me sick notes, i'm never usually ill.......

mooseloose glad you had fairly happy day
blissa how did docs go?well i hope

Morning, I hope everyone is ok today.

The visit with the dr wasn't as helpful or reassuring as I'd hoped.I knew he wasn't the right dr to talk to about how I felt when I went in. He booked me in for their anticoagulant clinic and was going to send me away so I asked him about my leg and he said it's probably nothing to worry about and most people get funny sensations after starting on warfarin. I then got quite teary and explained that I feel very anxious and have experienced panic attacks and he said that by the time an appointment came they will probably have stopped so it wasn't worth doing, but to come back if things didn't improve.

I went home pretty upset, luckily mil was here looking after dcs so we had a chat and that helped. She made me realise that I am just waiting for something awful to happen to me and that that is pointless. She also said that dp had talked to her saying he feels helpless and doesn't know what to do, so that sort of explains how he has been with me, I didn't realise how me shutting myself off was affecting him.

So anyway, today I am trying to feel more positive and banish any nasty thoughts. I'm going to take one day at a time and see how I cope, then if I need to I will make an appointment with a more understanding dr!

Morning everyone hope you all ok today
blissa,sorry doc visit didn't give you the psych info/pointers you needed
its probably that thing where you go in with one thing and they aren't expecting the other,so aren't sort of in that frame of mind.
have a look on royal college of psychiatrists website there are some good factsheets and info on there.
can you make appt with more sympathetic gp specifically to talk about the psychological fallout of whats happened?
how many weeks has it been since you were first ill?
they say talking with anyone helps to process it and put some perspective to your fears,for e.g. can you ask hospital consultant what is chance of happening again?
But if you feel very stressed don't force yourself to go over things,there are other things that also help.
similarly if any of my messages make you anxious,let me know!!
take carexx

Hi morningsun, no your messages don't make me feel anxious, they help as it sounds like you understand where I'm coming from.

It's 4 weeks today since I was admitted into hospital. I was told that it takes between 4-6 weeks for the clots to be reabsorbed by the body so until I can say to myself they have definately gone, I will still be anxious. However the dr didn't help this yesterday as he informed me that clots can still form whilst on warfarin and that was enough to put the fear of God into me!

The lady I see at the clinic is sympathetic, I go in looking like a nervous wreck each week, and has told me I need to find a way to relax. Everyone has tried to reassure me that it is very unlikely for this to happen again, but no matter how many of my questions they answer I will also come back with "yeah but, what if?"! Think I drove them mad in the hospital!

I'll definately have a look at that website. Thanks for listening x

yes that's becos its all new.
Did they find any cause[like rare inherited conditions]?
will try to look it up but think the warfarin drastically reduces risk[rememberthere is always some risk for anyone so is all a matter of degree anyway]
other thing to rememberis there's no such thing as "never" in medicine for example
"doctor,my mother had cancer,do you think i could get cancer?"
dr "well'its possible but there's nothing to suggest you have it at the moment..."

No, the only thing they can possibly put it down to is the pill, but I will be tested for any inherited conditions in 6 months. My sister has Hughes Syndrome so that is a possibility.

I know there are no guarantees and no one can say 100% it won't happen again and that is one of the things I have to sort in my head.

yes its a lot for you to cope with
maybe you could ask your consultant,if you don't turn out to have hughes syndrome or any inherited causes and you're off the pill,what statistically is your chance of problems compared with general population and perhaps it won't be too different.

hi- oh blissa, I know I'd be fed up too. It's hard when you psych yourself up to something and plan it, and then it doesn't work out the way you want it too.
I would go back and perhaps ask to be put on the list for a appointment. if you rally then you can always cancel it. I had to wait about six weeks for a appointment, and i have done it private now (from work but i pay £50 excess). I was offered it and said no no (sounded drastic measures at the time - i thought of film stars etc having counselling) now i realise i really should have gone 6 weeks ago, because of the way i am struggling now. I have gone more downhill, despite trying to fight it.
I have just cancelled my surgery counselling today (was for 22 jan).

I am about to go and have a hot bubbly bath (i know its lunch time) and listen to my relaxation cd. i was getting in at 10am but my dad phones and asked asked me if i wanted to go to garden centre for a cuppa with my nan too. 'No' i thought but then i felt i should for her really. then i felt cross i should have said no cos i didn't want to, and i should have been assertive. Then i felt guilty, and then i wanted to cry. But i did go, and now i have a headache and am cross and cranky! Hope the bath will work!

Hi hows everyone today?
Woke up with "the fear" today and trying to shake it off

hello morning sun! Hope you are feeling a bit better as the morning has gone on? i've just been for run with my friend, and now going in the bath for 'me time' - in the middle of the day - i am shocked at myself! - need to be out by 3 for school though.
I feel more relaxed (but knackered after the run!)
Think everyone else is still under the duvet!

thanks moose,yes better now,have a lovely bath!

snap - me too- just started ironing now, so thats a goal achieved - dh will be pleased i am doing something!

Hi everyone, can I join you?

I have been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks for sbout 8 months now, a couple of months ago I worked up the courage to go to my GP who prescribed a beta blocker called Propranolol, it took me another month or so until I felt brave enough to take it. It helps a little with the physical symptoms of a panic attack but I am still struggling with them.

Don't know what my next step is, I have no one to talk to about this. I am worried about work as I panic quite badly there but really don't want them to know and have been able to hide it so far.

I have a baby and a toddler to look after and often feel over whelmed. I used to love going shopping for a break but cant do that without panicing any more. Just want to get back to the old me, any suggestions?

Jay

Hi jay,sorry to hear you also get anxiety and panic
have you looked at the no panic website at all?
Your gp could refer you for counselling/cbt/try other meds
also look at homestart website,a parent volunteer helps out in any area you need it[you and the los]
chat to you later,nearly school pick up

hi jay, i'm on my way to school too- try the gp for some counselling. i said no originally when offered, but the gp said i really haven't got more than 10 min appointments and thats what you need. I'm pleased i did. You sound just like me. The panics have got better, but its other things now like reluctance to do things, and being teary. How old is your baby ?- couldn't be PND can it - i only say that because they were on about it on gmtv...

Hi Morningsun and Mooseloose. Thanks for replying. My GP suggested this was linked to PND, baby is 14 months now but this began when she was about 6 months. Thought it would have passed by now.

Have been offered CBT, might take them up on this, has any one else found it useful?

Right, better get to work but will try and log on again later, thanks again, it's pathetic but other than GP this is the first time I have discussed this and I can't help getting a bit emotional but I am determined to get my life back under conrol.

Jay

Yes CBT does work, it is meant to be especially good for anxiety...

Except I've had it before and I'm on this thread . Am currently on waiting list for second round.

It does work well, but I have been so bad this time, I have been unable to apply it to myself, and need help with sorting it all out.

All anxiety is caused by a thought process called "fortune telling", and the idea is to challenge this, or offer a rational response I can identify the thoughts, but can't quite deal with them yet

Try thisMood Gym. It is like a kind of crash course in the basics of CBT, and it is really helpful.

Hi all, I hope your day's all got better. Hi Jay, I know what you mean about the shopping, the thought of going into town or the supermarket at the moment fills me with fear. I needed to get a little gift today but couldn't face going anywhere to get it, luckily I managed to pick a card and present up at the shop in the hospital this morning when I went for my blood test!

Have managed to get through the past 2 days without a panic attack, so am feeling pleased about that. Felt a bit funny on the school run, but managed to keep the feelings at bay. Think part of the problem is that I am so tired, both physically and emotionally. My leg is still playing up and that is playing on my mind, keep thinking its a huge clot.

I have been thinking that, Mooseloose. I know it can take a long time for an appointment to come through, I will see how I go over the weekend.

Very jealous of these midday baths, I have to wear stockings all day so cannot indulge!

Hi Blissa, believe me midday baths are a one -off - never known to happen before! Counsellor says ' you are off work to relax, do your 'me time' and get out every day, which you can't if you are at work, or off and thinking about work'. True!

i went on moodgym (doc told me too) i got fed up beacause a lot of it was depression which i know i didnt have (although counsellor says i have signs of it now).. Blissa , thats another reason to sort your appointment, to stop it progressing. I know now exactly what i should and shouldnt be doing - but its still hard to make my body do it.

I had a panic attack eating tea because dh told he thought the goldfish looked dead (well she is eleven and i love her dearly) but she wasnt, so shows how daft my body is responding at the moment. - completely irrational response....

Hi - how is everyone?

Hi i am feeling a bit crap today on a very short fuse, been like this on and off bout s month now i am thinkinh of upping my dose of tablets cos am currently on the lowest dose, but feel bit stressed at mo cos of my dd health.Feel like i should up them to prevent another breakdown but then feel like a failure at the same time.

Jay i was on propanonol and didnt really find it helpful, i changed to clomprimine,but i have ocd as well so dont know if they would give clomprimine just for panic-but it is fantastic. Also found cbt helpful but only when i was on the tablets

Hi, must be the weather I woke feeling fear too. Cried this morning. But i felt better when we went to ds footie match pm, and i feel ok now. Perhaps the sun?

i agree i think the sun would be a big help. Jan is such a depressing month crap weather, no money,cold, chapped lips-do i go on?

Hi all, how is everyone today?

My weekend was ok, managed to get through it without any panic attacks, although my health is still playing on my mind and got up this morning feeling anxious and unable to relax. Am feeling a bit better now but need to walk round to the bank with ds so we'll see how that goes!

Hope you all are having a good day x

Oh and definately agree with you about the weather, I find it much easier to get up and feel positive when the sun is shining. This morning it was dark and wet, doesn't make you want to jump out of bed and start the day does it!