Anyone else struggling with anxiety?

[mooseloose]

I've been off work nearly three months now and am just really fed up with myself now. i've refused any meds but I just cant get over it. I started my counselling last week, and am hopeful she can sort me out. it was caused by by son having an accident, and juggling work etc which just got too much and made me cry.
Id had a lot of panic attacks but they are getting better but now I just feel worried when i go out, and that i want to cry.
Today I just can't breathe. I don't know if i'm worse today because i'm due on too.
I just really feel i've lost my way and lost confidence in myself, and i dont know what to do to get myself back.
I'm all crabby and wound up with people too - no patience.
I think the doctor is fed up with me too and i'm also worried she won't keep giving me sick notes, i'm never usually ill.......

plane I can't even spell the word it's been so long!

well done to your dds blissa!
glad you are feeling good

Thanks morning, how is your ds doing?

Keep meaning to ask you whether you made a decision about finding a job?

Hi girls,

How are you all doing?

I am well and glad to have dh home !

Have had a nioce few day with this weather, it is really muggy tonight though! Not that nice! I have to take ds2 down to doctors tonight as he has been a bot off past few days and developed a rash today all over his wee body! The doc said its nothign serious, maybe just an ear infection! Have prescription for db's so will see how he i tomorrow!

I am shattered so going to bed soon! Ds1 is stil out playing, hoepfully he will be shattered when he comes in!

Well done on little ones getting good report Blissa!

x x x

hello girls - isn't it hot! Am just ironing. And I need to clean out the fish, and water the garden!

Am feeling a bit dizzy actually. Work was ok today, and it was too the back end of last week. Felt a bit teary and fed up tonight, but ok.

Well done bliss coming off the warfarin. I too would listen to the specialist rather than gp......

Ds is ok ish. Still full of tears but no more trouble, I ont think, at school. Think he really needs a long break, he is just so worn down.

Glad dh home for you yommy x

morning girls
blissa- you're doing really well staying positive.ds is fine now ~ asking daily when is end of term lol.Good question about the job lol~am going ahead with the c/m registration but have STILL not made a decision about going back to my job I was originally trained for~please chase me up on this lol.[quite a lot of lols lol]

moose~ hope you are ok you still sound a bit low,are you still having counselling?

yommy~hope your ds is ok and nice to hear you sound happy!

Hi Girls!

Moose - glad to hear things are a little more settled at work? Have you sorted out the working hours issues with them yet? Hope you were feeling a little better after a good nights sleep!

Morning - you are also sounding really happy! You sound like me on the work front! I am looking for something part time, but not in the work I am trained in (quantity surveyor) I want start working with children, but finding it really had to get my foot in the door as I don;t have much experience other than my own two, lol!

Blissa - how are you feeling today?

I am having a good day! My dh is away to the gym so dropped ds1 down at his grandmas (he just loves her) so I am having some quiet time! Ds2 is having his afternoon nap! He is still v irritable today, poor wee soul! I feel like I should be doing something more productive with my day!. I am going to start doing situp to try to get rid of the baby belly! lol! Going to centre park in sept and want to have lost 1 stone in weight before then! Another face, lol! I need to do something rather than just moaning about it all the time! Need the motivation! lol!

Anyway, hope you all are having a good day where you are!

x x x

Hi I have just joined the mumsnite site with some anxiety issues of my own. I have had a message from yommy mommy thank you. I hope you dont mind me joining your thread you all seem to know each other very well.

Hello again windswept,

You are more than welcome on our thread as is anyone! People come along all the time but there are regulars who post often! Its nice to have a group of people who can appriciate what you are going through! You don;t feel so alone in the world

Hey to everyone else! Still really muggy here! Dh and dc in bed I am trying to upload more music to my i pod, but I am really no good with it! Will see what happens!

Plan to take ds swimming tomorrow - although I feel like I am cheating as its an outdoor pool and I'm not sure I can face indoor one at the moment without having a freak! my ds1 loves swimming and I desparatly want to take him more as I feel like he is missing out because of me! Well see what happenes tomorrow, but I hope it stays dry!

Hope you are all well!

x x x

Hi girls

I'm not doing so good. We have been really stupid. I found out yesterday that I am pregnant. My period was a day late, but I am never late and had a test in the cupboard and thought I'd do it to put my mind at rest. But it didn't. I'm really scared, this couldn't have happened at a worse time. I'm so cross and upset that we have let this happen.

I've been to the dr this morning. I cannot have this baby- as well as my health I really don't think I could cope with a fourth and we really can't afford another. I am booked for a consultation at a clinic on Tuesday. They have said that they might not do it due to my history, it is the anestheatists (sp?) decision.

I know we shouldn't have let this happen, I feel like I can't talk to my family about it

oh blissa poor you
what a thing to happen when you are in the middle of this worrying time for you with your health
what a dilemma you must feel yourself to be in!

I can understand why you would not want to tell your family~because they will always know then,you can't take it back.
What about a close girlfriend who will really understand?

Please please try not to worry
Also try to talk it through with the doctors ~ could your GP ask advice for you from the physicians or obstetricians so you are informed about the medical side?

You will get through this,don't panic,get all the facts you can and talk it through as much as you can

Thinking of youx

Awe Blissa,

I am so sorry for you! I too was devistaed when I found out I was pregnant with my ds2. It was just such a bad time for us, I was in a pretty dark place mentally and finacially we had just taken on a bigger mortgage and I had just started in my new job 2 weeks before I found out! We ended up keeping the baby as my dh was scared that the other option would have pushed me over the edge!

Just make sure you have thought through all your options and whatever decision you make just have no doubts in your mind at all that its the right decision for you! Do you have to tell your family? Or do you want someone in rl to speak to??

I hope you are okay {{{{{{{Big hugs for you}}}}}} Thinking of you x x x x

Hi, not been able to post because my modem wasnt working. Blissa I read your post and my heart goes out to you. I too have issues with anaestetic. I am not suggesting a termination at all, as some of my issues are that I really wanted another baby. But there we go cas sa ra sa ra.

Ive been discussing my issues on MENTAL HEALTH topic site. Anyway a friend of mine was given tablets that terminated the pregancy she took them whilst she was at home. I dont think they are without risks too though, and no knowing what your med history is I dont know if they would be o.k. for you. She was very early stages. Maybe if you cant confide in a close friend (on this delicate matter)you could talk to a counsellor who would not judge you or ever break your trust.

I was booked to go the priory today for help with my own depression but I cancelled the app on the last meeting. I last went there 8 years ago and I feel that if I were to go back it would be admitting defeat. I know its daft isnt it, cause depression if in my family genes and I have many many happy times when I am free of it. I went to a funeral yesterday and the priest who knows me well said Whats wrong, I thought how does he know, anyone i just told him quietly how depressed Ive been and he said why dont you come to me for some counselling so maybe I will.

TO YOMMYMOMMY

THANK YOU FOR WELCOMING ME ONTO THE SITE

thankyou

I'm still feeling pretty bad. I have this permanent nervous, sick feeling. I cry all the time, am snappy with the kids and can't concentrate on anything.I just keep thinking the worst. I've been googling (yes I know), it hasn't helped.

I want to make an appointment to see my usual dr on monday, he wasn't there on friday. Hopefully he will be more knowledgeable about how safe it is for me to have a termination.

What if the clinic says no? I'll have no choice but to have the baby, I can't deal with that.

I told my best friend last night, it felt better to talk to someone. I think my dp feels guilty, it's both our mistake.

The dr yesterday also said that I would have to wait another 6 weeks afterwards to have my thrombophilia screen.

I keep willing it to happen naturally. It sounds so awful, some of the thoughts I've had over the past couple of days have shocked me, I've never felt like this before. I've never contemplated a termination before. I always wanted 4 dcs, but not after waht has happened.

Thankyou Windswept, welcome to the thread. My issues are with clotting, I had a pulmonary embolism just before christmas, and only just came off warfarin last week, so this has happened at a really bad time. I'm sorry for the way I am posting, I understand it could be hard for you to read about someone not wanting to be pregnant.

I know I cannot take the pills. I think the option for me is surgical, but would be done with a local anaesthetic.

blissa how awful
can you def not have the medical option ~ I had the medication and pessaries once when the baby/foetus had died on the scan ~ it was ok.
think what you want to happen then follow what the drs advise~what else can you do?

Would it help to think about pros and cons;

1-continue pregnancy
pros
have baby,not have to have termination
cons
worries over your health in the pregnancy,emotionally you hadn't planned/didn't want baby

2-stop pregnancy
pros
do not have to have baby
don't have health worries in the pregnancy
cons
have to have termination
poss effects on health of termination
poss emotional/psychological difficulties of termination/coming to terms with it

very very difficult to think what is best~neither way is easy~you have to
1- do what you want~ this is your body
2-follow your instinct/deep feelings on this one hopefully that will be what you really want.

so sorry for you but I really believe you will be finex

blissa thinking of you and hope you are okx

Hi morning, thankyou

I have read that the medical option is not suitable for people with past clotting problems. I'd already thought it would be.

This will sound awful, but I know I want/ need to have a termination. I am however very scared about how it will affect my health. I'm scared it will cause another clot. It also scares me to think that they will refuse to do it because of my history and that I will have to have the baby, and how that will affect my health and my other dcs.

I have an appointment this afternoon to see my usual gp, the one who runs the INR clinic. I don't know whether talking to him will help or not but I feel I need to.

I still feel so sick, I just want to turn the clock back and to not have been so bloody careless

Yes I understand blissa
Is it worth checking with the GP about the medical option anyway?
Re the surgical option ~ it is a very short procedure and is not really pelvic surgery as such so hopefully they will ok it.

If you were reassured medically that the health risks of the pregnancy would be about the same as a healthy woman,would you go ahead?

I do not have a moral opinion onthis,just what is best for you,but don't want you to feel you have to have a termination out of fear for your health until you are sure what the risk would be.

I know you feel awful about this,it's hard to cope with because neither option is what you want,but bad things happen and we all make "mistakes" it's part of life.I've put "mistakes" because it's not really a mistake and it's not your fault~you've probably been limited with your contraceptive choices anyway and if you have sex you always have the possibility of pregnancy don't you?

Don't let it get you down x

I do know the surgical option available to me, I have looked at the bpas website. I know what it involves, and I keep telling myself that to remove something so tiny surely can't be that much of a risk? If I was further on then yes, but I am not even 5 weeks. I know that if I carried on with the pregnancy, I would have to inject myself with heparin. I'm wondering whether that is neccessary following a termination.

Morning, I have never had thoughts like this before. This is a potential sibling for my dcs and yet I do not feel anything for it like I did with them. I keep willing it to go. I honestly don't think I could cope with another child, my ds is still so challenging. We have no more room in our house, we can't afford somewhere bigger and we are struggling financially as it is.

Yes I understand and its very hard.

I suppose the greatest health risk to you is the hormonal effects of the pregnancy over the 9 mos andthe GA[which will be short though].I don't know if you will have heparin after the termination~maybe for 24~48hrsI'm not sure.

Look after yourself,you will be finex

blissa just to clarify I didn't mean "Look after your self" as in "goodbye",meant it as in I hope you have chance to have a bath,relax and be calm[half asleep emoticon]

Hi girls!

Blissa - Is it today you have your dr appointment? What time! It pretty much sounds like you have decided that this is not the best time for you to have a 4th dc. I think you are brave to have 3, I only have 2 and I know that if I ever fell pregnant again I would have no choice but to terminate the pregnancy. I just couldn't cope and finacially we would be broken! Just know that we are here to talk and support you through a difficult time {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

Hope everyone else is well!

x x x

Hi yommy, thankyou for the hug my appointment's at 2.40. Really wanted it to be this morning but, that particular dr is only in this afternnon.

Morning, my head's not working- what's GA? I'm trying to keep busy, my house is a tip again! Part of me just wants to hide in bed, cry and hope it all goes away but I know I that is the worst thing I could do. I'm supposed to be organising dd1s birthday party, it's not for another couple of weeks, but I need to get invitations and order the craft bits we need.