Anyone else struggling with anxiety?

[mooseloose]

I've been off work nearly three months now and am just really fed up with myself now. i've refused any meds but I just cant get over it. I started my counselling last week, and am hopeful she can sort me out. it was caused by by son having an accident, and juggling work etc which just got too much and made me cry.
Id had a lot of panic attacks but they are getting better but now I just feel worried when i go out, and that i want to cry.
Today I just can't breathe. I don't know if i'm worse today because i'm due on too.
I just really feel i've lost my way and lost confidence in myself, and i dont know what to do to get myself back.
I'm all crabby and wound up with people too - no patience.
I think the doctor is fed up with me too and i'm also worried she won't keep giving me sick notes, i'm never usually ill.......

hellooo. Flippin computer not workin again.

I fed up at mo. I been worried about ds and it turns out he is being bullied, so i've been in to see school. But i am really cross with them, because rather than moving the naughty boys away from table, they have moved ds - so more tears. So need to go in and moan again.

Had meeting with hr and work again today. they say my phased return ended and they want me up to 7 hours. I can't do that many -I get shaky and want to cry after 4, so need a break, but 6 is tops. I said i will use my hol to top my short days up, but they said I need to be back up to normal hours. Am cross and bothered now.

On the good side I went to see take That on Tuesday - how fantastic were they! Best concert I ever went to! Just brilliant!

Hi Girls,

Moose - My work done that to me too! Got me back in the door by telling me they would def consider letting me reduce my hours, but when i was back told me I could work part time up until christmas then would need to come back full time after that! Argh! I let them soon after to work for another company who let me work 4 days and I loved it there! Due to the recession I lost that just just before last christmas! Nightmare!

Anyway, I am just doing a quick post just now - been out working in the garden working since 10 this morning and I feel like I want to colapse in a bundle n sleep! lol!

Hi to everyone!
Goodnight x x x

Hi . Thanks Yom. I work two full days and a half. I have been workin up to 6 and that is a push. They said I need to increase it up to my 7.5 (plus lunch hour). But i cant - I get shaky and mithered. But I have lots hol left so said I will work the 6 and book an hour and a half hol to get me on my feet. Buut they not happy because they say i am not pushing myself and getting into a routine (I also have a few weeks hol looming over next three months).

i said actually i was really pleased with myself. I can walk in without a panic now, get a coffee and go to loo without having a panic. A huge achievement over six weeks. I think the hol will help. But they rubbished all that and I felt really put down.

So I had my lunch today and didnt want to go back. I cried at work this afternoon. It felt all too much, and i didnt feel like I was managing it. And its all down to this meeting with HR.

I spoke to my manager and she didnt know i had that meeting (team leader and HR) and she not happy either wuith them. She said dont let it get to me, but obviously they have business commitments and staff plans. But I have hol so I dont see problem!

But I said to HR and manager it's not like I have a bad leg and can rub it better!

This HR girl is about 20 and I bet she has never heard of mental illness, yet alone know what to do about it!

Moose,

I really feel for you! People will never know what mental illness feels like until they have experienced i - not that I would wish it on anyone, but you know what I mean! How can you explain to people that you are sick when you look a picture of health!

I think you have done brilliantly with walking in now without panic and going for coffee and to loo without panic! It it such an achievement to get to that point - i went through it all too - so don;t let any of thoses b£$%^£ds knock you back down!!!!!!!!

I am glad your manager seems to be seeing scense! I don;t see why they can't just let you take holidays! Do you mind me asking what you work as??? Call citisens (sp??) advice and ask them where you stand!

Keep us posted and let us know how you get on, don;t let them pressure you into anything as you will end up sick again! {{{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}}}

I have had a pretty good day! Was up early this morning so went into town to get myself something to wear for my friends wee boys christening tomorrow! Needless to say my boys outfits were sorted weeks ago, lol! Funny how the kids always get sorted first! lol! I am sitting here with a hair dye in to get rid of the grey ...a side affect of kids! lol!

Off to BBQ tonight, but not going to stay last as long day tomorrow!

Hope you all have a nice weekend!
Y x x x

Hi Yommy - thanks xx
We went to a bbq yest too. Nice day.

I work for a Building Society, but not customer facing.

Hi

I too have anxiety and just started CBT, referred through the Doctor.

Your not alone, the therapist said 1 in 3 people that visit their Doctor is for Anxiety.

Doctor has prescribed me some new anti depressants as I'm sure the others made me worse!

Is it just me or does anyone suffer from dizziness?

Take Care mooseloose and everyone else.

Hi SM13,

Welcome to our wee threat!

I suffer from dizzyness too! It was worse before I knew I was suffering from anxiety, I thought there was something more serious wrong! Its not so bad now though! Sometime I would eel dizzy all day long! Not nice! How are you finding CBT so far??? How long have you been suffering?

Moose - were you at work today? How was it if you were!

Hi to everone else x x x

Hi YommyMommy,

Have been suffering since December and went to the Doctors in February.

I was having toothache, and looking back it wasn't that bad, infact they couldn't find anything wrong! It blew out of all proportion in my mind, so much in fact I couldn't sleep, lost my appetite and then had this dizzy head! - How Weird!!

Had my wisdom tooth out and they fitted me with a splint for teeth grinding/clenching and touch wood I was fine!

The Doctor put me on Mirtazapine for depression/anxiety which I have been on and off for 3 months (made my dizzy head even worse!). Currently coming off them to go on Dolsupine.

My anxiety has got worse since being on the meds, anxiety attacks etc and my experience of Citalopram Ad was so scary! Panic for 2 days! How ironic I'm anxious about feeling anxious!!

I am currently on CBT (NHS Mental Health Team), go every Tuesday for an hour, he is very supportive and said he will change me and make me better!

You made me feel better about the dizziness, I'm convinced its something else! Unfortunately I think the mirtazapine make me even more dizzy which is hard when your working and trying to function normally!

I want to have a clear head again!

Thinking of you all

Hi- no work today, tomorrow.

I didn't take the pills. Piece in Sunday mail mag last week i think about pills and side effects. x

Hi girls, hope you're all ok today.

Welcome SM13, I understand the dizziness too, I've often worried that it's something more serious. I also sometimes feel like my head is being squashed, it's very strange!

Sorry to hear work hasn't been going too well moose. You're right they obviously have no idea about anxiety, that's awful of them to have dismiss everything you have achieved over the past couple of months. I'm glad your manager is more understanding, I hope she has a word with them. How is your ds?

I was at a christening on sunday, yommy! Was a lovely day for it.

I have my last(hopefully) INR test tomorrow morning, then I stop taking my tablets on Thursday. TBH I am pretty scared that something is going to go wrong, but there is nothing I can do. MUST THINK POSITIVE! It's dd1s sports day tomorrow so looking forward to that

xx

Hi Girls!

SM13 - was your anxiety brought on by toothache??? Can't help with the anti d's as I didn;t want to take them. But I have heard that some make you feel worse before they make you feel better?! Hop then ones you are going onto now help more! I am glad the CBT is good so far! I am hoping to be getting some soon!

Hi Blissa - Hope your test goes well tomorrow and I am sure everything will be fine! I know its easy for me to say as I am not in your position, but I understand how worry so much can be hazzardous for us anxiety sufferers ! Enjoy ur ds sports day tomorrow - hope he does good! I have ds1's on friday! Not sure he wil take part - will depend on his mood, lol!

Moose - hope work is okay!

Hi to everyone else!
x x x x

Hi Girls!

Where has everyone gone??? Have you all moved to a better post, lol!

I am bored today! The weather has been crapy so not been able to get out much the past few days other then taking ds1 to nursery!

DS2 had a bit of an unsettled night last night so I am feeling pretty tired today!

Have my ds1 sports day tomorrow so looking forward to that! :D

Anyway, hope you are all well!

How are you getting on at work moose???
x x x

It's all gone a bit quiet hasn't it yommy!!

Hope you have better weather where you are today for your ds's sports day. Good luck to him, enjoy!

Hope work is going ok moose.

Where is morningsun (might go stalk her on the slatterns thread!) she must have had her appointment about her feet by now?

I've had a headache all week, think it's tension and muscle ache in my shoulder. Not sure what's happening re my tablets. The nurse who took my blood today said that I need my chest listened to before I can come off- this has never been mentioned before. The dr I need to see is off til next week so she has made me an appointment to see him on wednesday. I went to pick up my result yesterday and it wasn't ready so I have to go back later today. I'm just going to see if there's anything written on it, if not I'll take the tablets til wednesday, a few days won't make much difference!

xx

The nurse who took my blood on wdenesday* not today duurr

Wednesday I can spell honest

Morning Girls!

What is this slatterns thread??? lol! The headache is probably you stressing about coming off the tablets! You will be fine though! Just wait n see! x x x

Just came back from ds1 sports day...and he took part in nothing, lol! He kept saying to his teacher that he wasn;t feeling well, but he was at it! My team came second in the beanbags between the legs race, lol!

Had another restless night with ds2, think its def his teeth! Poor wee soul!

Anyway, better go tidy up and make a start in lunch while ds2 is having his nap!

Hope you are all well!
x x x

Good housekeeping yommy!

Just got my result and I'm dissapointed to say the least, it's only 1.9 which hasn't changed much from last time even with a higher dose. Does this mean it's not working?? The drs written to have another test in a couple of weeks and then see my usual dr, but I'm going to keep my appointment and see him on wednesday. I really thought I'd be theraputic. I'm scared now

Hi girls sorry have not been on due to a cold and now am a bit behind and getting slowly through my chores!
Yommy aw there was such a cute little boy in ds sports day last week who didn't want to race despite a motivational talk at the starting post!You could see he was thinking about it and decided against it lol.
Blissa Hi!sorry I asked you a question ages ago and then went awol~am I right in thinking Hughes syndrome is associated with s.l.e. so is that why your sister has it ?Do you have a higher risk of also having it with a close relative with it?Sounds like a good plan to carry on with tabs until you see the DR[GP or Hosp?]though am a bit about listening to chest all of a sudden ~ I would personally have thought they would want to see you anyway before stopping the warfarin to see how you've been.When do you see the cons re the tests for rare coagulation disorders?

Hi to moose as well and hope your ds is ok now ~well done for sorting that out for him!

sorry forgot to say went to gp about my feet but after nearly 3 weeks they were on a good phase isn't that typical lol.
He did some bloods for arthritis and gout which are normal so far and an x ray which I haven't been for yet.

Yes morning my sister has S.L.E, Lupus and Hughes. It can be genetic. I am around the same age she was when she was diagnosed, following multiple miscarriages.

I see the GP on wednesday, then I will have the Thrombophilia screen at the beginning of August.

That is so typical that your feet weren't bothering you when you finally saw your gp! It's good that your tests were negative, but must be frustrating for you not to have a reason for them hurting.

hello girls . Think computer fixed now. dh mate came and looked at it. the memory was full, and another virus.

I am ok, but breathy today. have noticed I am all cranky for the last three sats - it must be work!

Did 6 hours yest, was ok, just.
Cried on Thurs. swines.

Blis, hope you not worrying too much. x

Oh forgot say the bullying still going on - they hit him with rulers, kicked him of chair, laugh at him, pulled his trousers down, threw a stone at him. Beasts.

He not been out to play for about three weeks now, but he reluctantly did today- hide and seek in the field at the back. He has just no interest in anything.

Morning Girls!

How are you all today??? I am feeling a we bit down in the dumps! It that time of the month and I always feel this way, although I get through it as I know the mood is only going to last a few days then lift! I have been feeling on edge for a while now, not panicky all the time though - its hard to explain! I feel horrible the minute I have to go anywhere alone! I have my appointment on tues with stepwell! So I am hoping they will recommend me for CBT! I have all my hope pinned on it! I just want my life back to normal! I want to love life, instead of just living it getting through each day! Nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANyway, enough of my moans and groans!

Blissa - sorry to hear about your result! I am going to have to google your condition to find out what it is and the implications. I hope you are okay though!

Moose - I am so sorry to hear about your ds - I am shocked and saddened that a school woulf let it get that bad! I bet you want to kill the little b%&%$*ts! Have you been back to speak to the school? Ur poor ds! And sorry to hear things ae no better with work

I hope everyone else is well!
x x x x

Hi all, thanks yommy for your support x
I have been in twice now and another appt on Tues. I know he had a better day on Friday, but he has still been crying all day today, but he has been out to play so that is progress.

Hi all moose ~ your poor dshope you are coping with the stress
blissa ~I see although I would have thought they could still test for antibodies in sle and anti phospholipid antibodies whether you are on the warfarin or not[ms gets out medical knowledge from back of rusty underused brain].Hope a you are ok and ask dr anything you need to know on wed.
yommy hope you are feeling better

For the first time for a long time I feel quite worried today ~ my litte ds is scared of his teacher and was crying this morning.I persuaded him to go in but feel unsure about whether i have deserted him a bit ~she was disciplined or at least investigated for [allegedly]slapping a pupil last year and he is scared of her shouting.The problem is if I go in and she is a bit of a bully,she might really have it in for him then [I think a few parents have complained but ds has been ok till now].
Have got that worried jittery feeling hope he is ok