We'll be ok, won't we?

[Dinosaurs1994]

I keep seeing posts mentioning nuclear war and my previously cured anxiety has returned with such a vengeance I'm petrified and have been reduced to tears. I've just had a baby and have a disabled child. I live in London which would be a target and I'm frightened.

I'm going to need to tune out of the news before it tips me over the edge.

I'm devastated for Ukraine but naturally in my postpartum state my worry lays with my children.

Could somebody, kindly, reassure me that we - here in the UK - will be ok 😭

I wish I was as brave as the Ukrainians guarding snake island, Zelensky, the Ukranians I've seen going live on TikTok smiling and staying positive. It feels like an insult to those people for me to be all the way over here, in relative safety, this scared, when they have all been facing Russia on their doorstep and standing strong.

Anxiety is such a poisonous thing. I hate it. I hate that my brain is telling me that we in the UK are equally at risk as those poor people over there - because logically I know that's not the case. It's selfish of me and yet I can't shake it because what I care about more than anything is my children.

My lovely brother served in Afghanistan, he's one of the strongest people I know. I asked whether he was worried and he said he wasn't. He doesn't think Putin will touch a NATO country and as such we needn't fret.

I do wish Liz Truss would be quiet though.

Thank you all for the kind words, reassurance and solidarity. I truly appreciate it.

@Pernot165 you're spot on about anxiety. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Know you are not alone. 💐

@Pernot165 I feel just the same , feeling guilty that my anxiety has totally got in the way of my empathy. I sent money earlier this evening just to appease my conscience, but I still can’t bear to read or watch footage of what’s happening, and I feel terrible for that. Xx

@Pernot165

I wish I was as brave as the Ukrainians guarding snake island, Zelensky, the Ukranians I've seen going live on TikTok smiling and staying positive. It feels like an insult to those people for me to be all the way over here, in relative safety, this scared, when they have all been facing Russia on their doorstep and standing strong.

Anxiety is such a poisonous thing. I hate it. I hate that my brain is telling me that we in the UK are equally at risk as those poor people over there - because logically I know that's not the case. It's selfish of me and yet I can't shake it because what I care about more than anything is my children.

My lovely brother served in Afghanistan, he's one of the strongest people I know. I asked whether he was worried and he said he wasn't. He doesn't think Putin will touch a NATO country and as such we needn't fret.

I do wish Liz Truss would be quiet though.

Thank you all for the kind words, reassurance and solidarity. I truly appreciate it.

This is how I feel too, I'm not functioning very well at the moment. I don't know what to do

I've sent money too, it's not much but all i can afford.

Thinking of everybody else who's struggling today

Putin, go and fuck yourself

I've donated too. I also have a large bag of clothes I will donate to the Red Cross. Just need to find my local shop.

I have felt unwell today and yesterday with anxiety about this
I feel so sick can't eat and feel like crying when I look at my children

I’m really struggling too. I think I’m going to speak to my GP tomorrow. Unfortunately something else triggered it again before all this started but it’s such an anxious time anyway it’s merrily feeding it and I feel really unwell.
I can’t stay away from the news though, that anxious need to prepare and plan demands I keep refreshing and it just gets worse and worse. I felt a bit better earlier because the peace talks were under way but now it just all seems so futile like we are heading towards disaster in slow motion.
I was reading about how Ukraine is likely to be accepted into the EU now after they applied, and it’s being fast tracked in a new process, and can’t help but think surely this isn’t a great idea right now? But tbh I can’t trust my own mind at the moment it’s too full of anxious loops so who knows.

@Hollyandlilac

Sure you’re glad you posted!

Either way I wouldn’t rely on MN for either reassurance or kindness. Seek other sources. (Sad I have to say that.)

And the poster above who said ‘you need to see your GP’ PMSL.

Not sure what she thinks the GP will do either!

Hm.

I think if you watch the news, the people in the underground, fathers separated from their children, you can feel empathy for them but it is also legitimate to feel joy and gratitude that this is NOT our situation. You are safe with your children in London and that is not likely to change. Be thankful and maybe put together a box to donate to the Ukranians.

Existential worry comes out when this kind of thing happens. But it is always there - just I think we have an illusion of control but you could become ill, you could have an accident, there could be war, a disaster. Now the idea of nuclear war crystallises - but the reality is we live under the constant threat of death, and we are advancing towards death every day.

We have to find a way to make peace with all that, while living our lives to the full. Ironically, I would say facing this reality is what allows us to really live life to the full.

Don't worry too much. Hug your children, you are safe.

And in the unlikely event that this changes, you would find yourself somehow able to make shift and cope, just as all those Ukranian mums and kids are doing right now. They were just like you, a week ago.

And even if you or someone you love were to die, you would manage, and recover. You would be changed, but life would go on.

Take care.

I don't fear death in general I just fear barbaric waste of life. It's so upsetting to think of the younger generation not having the chances and experiences we've had but you are right over the years ever generation has been under threat of death and destruction

Not sure what she thinks the GP will do either!

If you think that way @cuckooclocked I'm not sure why you're on a mental health thread. For some of us, treatment via the GP has saved our lives. It doesn't matter to the GP what the cause of the anxiety is or whether other people think it's rational, they're there to provide support and treatment with no judgement.

Fair enough. I haven’t seen any evidence at all that GP intervention helps at all.
I have extensive experience through a family member. Obviously not all are as useless as the ones I have come across.

You are not alone OP, I feel the same as you. I've suffered personal trauma since 2018. My children are my world and I think about those poor children who have lost their lives in Ukraine, the children still at the hospital who can't leave. It breaks my heart.

The news is constantly bad. I'll never forget the image of the little refugee boy in the red t shirt who was washed ashore. We have had some recent horrific news of child abuse here in UK, Arthur and Star.

Hold your babies tight. Plan a day out at the weekend. We have to keep going.

How are we all on this thread. I hope you are all managing some joy in the little things 🌺

Hi whenwillwe and Bella and everybody else

I'm doing ok, I've made a conscious effort to limit the amount of news I watch. Had a bit of family drama which took front and centre so haven't spent too much time obsessing over the what ifs, which was a welcome break regardless.

Hope everybody else is doing ok? Feel free to use this thread to offload when you need to. You're not alone

Hi everyone. I'm doing OK ish now but have been veering between OK and really not OK. Barely slept last night and was lying shaking in bed.

Have to really work very hard at talking myself down. I'm trying to reduce what I'm reading and how often.

Getting outside helps. Talking to my husband to get some perspective on it helps too.

It's just this rotten anxious physical feeling that keeps coming and going and that im trying to keep at bay, I am wondering if I need to get some further support.

Anyway hugs to you all. Take good care.

I was as worried as lots of you when isis was rampant. I had vivid nightmares about it and was incredibly anxious. I went to gp and got duloxetine. It honestly was like turning the anxiety tap off. Miracle worker. I will never stop taking it!!

I feel the same, have been given sertraline but haven't started taking it yet as I'm not really sure how it will help when the anxiety is not just all in my head but based on what's happening in real life. We all need to pray and send some collective energy into the world that might change it! Solidarity to all

Really struggling today. I thought I was getting better yesterday felt less anxious but today I cannot stop refreshing news feeds, it’s like I’m hoping that suddenly it will be a break through. Definitely been one of my worst days for obsessing I can’t get it out of my head. I hate myself for how I’m reacting and feel I have no joy in me this last week

@Autumnwater I'm struggling today too.

I think it's the hope that's the killer, I know I shouldn't keep refreshing the news, but I keep doing it just in case it's something good.

I have had to leave my phone in the kitchen overnight otherwise I'd just spend all night doom scrolling and not sleeping.

I was dreading the alarm coming on each morning and hearing the headlines so dh has changed it to some awful music station.

I usually read to escape things but my reading has ground to a halt as I can't concentrate on anything.

I am doing suduko puzzles as I find that helps weirdly.

Come on @Autumnwater. Switch the news off. There is nothing you can do about it except donate to the refugees. Don’t feel bad for being anxious but try and recognise that you are feeding that anxiety. When you are stuck in a hole stop digging. Give yourself a time slot to watch the news and then stop. The only thing ruining your life right now is your anxiety.

Oh I’m well aware it’s all down to me. It’s just very hard when you know it’s your anxiety and your battling against it

I know @Autumnwater. I totally get it. I suffer from anxiety too and wish I could turn my brain off at times. Weirdly I am not anxious about Ukraine. I am very upset and worried but it hasn’t set my anxiety off. It’s like anxiety attaches itself to a particular subject and then goes round and round and you start imagining all sorts of worst case scenario’s. It’s horrid but try your best - honestly if I had a pound for every single thing I have worried about that has never happened I would be retired by now.