We'll be ok, won't we?

[Dinosaurs1994]

I keep seeing posts mentioning nuclear war and my previously cured anxiety has returned with such a vengeance I'm petrified and have been reduced to tears. I've just had a baby and have a disabled child. I live in London which would be a target and I'm frightened.

I'm going to need to tune out of the news before it tips me over the edge.

I'm devastated for Ukraine but naturally in my postpartum state my worry lays with my children.

Could somebody, kindly, reassure me that we - here in the UK - will be ok 😭

People here aren't duty bound to lie to you to make you feel better. People have varying opinions and some have "gallows humour"

Neither are they duty bound to post either if they don't think their opinion would be useful to the OP given the context of the thread.

People can post what they like on an anonymous forum of course but it doesn't stop them from being a twat if they come onto a post like this with some of the replies here.

Hi all, we've been getting reports about this one so we've taken it out of AIBU and moved it over to the gentler Mental health support area.

@wonderstuff nice little fairytale there...

@jd88123

The positive thing is if it turns nuclear it'd be over pretty quickly for everyone.

Ain't that the truth. It would be the end of the world, or most of the northern hemisphere. No one wants to use nukes, not even putin

The likelihood of nuclear attack is infinitesimally small. If Putin fires out any nukes he'll get them back, and some. He's trying to build Russia not turn it into a nuclear wasteland.

@TellMeMoreHellebore wow! How much history have you studied? We are living in one of the safest places on earth.

I've stopped reading news daily since the Partygate. Nothing good happened since 2016. I just convinced myself to accept it and get on with my own life. Me, reading news and craving for improvements don't really help, especially to my mental health. Please do the same.

I'm not an anxious person but I'm anxious about where this is going.

@Return2thebasic

I've stopped reading news daily since the Partygate. Nothing good happened since 2016. I just convinced myself to accept it and get on with my own life. Me, reading news and craving for improvements don't really help, especially to my mental health. Please do the same.

I agree unfortunately. I now just keep my world a lot smaller. See friends, family and spend time with my DC. I don't tend to concern myself anymore with the news or what's going on elsewhere. It never seems to be good.

It's highly unlikely it will escalate to the point of nuclear war because of the concept of MAD (mutually-assured destruction) - if the Russians used nuclear weapons against NATO and its allies then NATO would retaliate with nuclear weapons against Russia.

MAD means that in a nuclear war, nobody "wins" because even the side that are the last man standing have a devastated world to rebuild.

Personally I think Russia will be satisfied when they've recaptured the territory lost when the USSR collapsed, i.e. they'll want Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland, Belarus, Czechia, Slovakia, Hungary, Romania, Moldova, Bulgaria, the countries that formerly made up Yugoslavia and Albania - either formally as part of Russia (eg Crimea) or a puppet state (eg Belarus). Once they've got these areas under control then I think they'll be satisfied that Russian "pride" is restored and the westernization of eastern Europe has been properly checked. I doubt they'd see the need to reclaim the east of Germany.

All this can be accomplished by a full scale war with non-nuclear weapons. Probably conventional weapons for the most part but also chemical/biological weapons if the Russians feel it's necessary.

My guess would be that Russia will take Ukraine relatively easily because sanctions from the West won't bother them. Once they start moving into the Baltic countries, Poland, Hungary etc. then NATO will be forced to use military force. There will probably be a very destructive war in eastern Europe as NATO and Russia battle it out, many lives will be lost and cities will be seriously damaged. Over time, a natural division will fall somewhere with no side able to advance significantly. This will probably lead to an uneasy peace, a new Iron Curtain going up, because claiming more ground would not be worth the price to either side.

It's unlikely to end up in a nuclear war though because NATO won't strike first and Putin isn't stupid enough. Of course, if new leaders come in, or there is an accidental deployment of nuclear weapons due to a systems glitch or human error, then it could become more realistic.

You're displaying some really messed up thinking OP. Nobody has posted actively trying to scare you, people have put their opinion that's all. If you've been scared, that's your response, not something others have done to you. All that happened is you've started a thread and people are having a discussion about it . That's how threads work, especially on this section of the forum. You're accusing people if being spiteful, I see one deleted post?

I can't share my fears irl because I don't want to scare my older child or burden DH with the anxiety.

But you're fine with burdening people here with your worries? People here are, as you've already pointed out, real people. You're not the only real one here.

You post here then kick off because you don't get the exact responses you wanted. Then try to police the thread dictating what can and can't be discussed. Nobody has even strayed off topic.

Try calling a mental health helpline for reassurances. I hope you find a better way of dealing with your problems and get the help you need to feel more rational soon

@HereComesTheSum

You need to see the GP reference your anxiety and stop watching the news.

I agree.

Despite Putin's threats, I cannot see any country using nuclear weapons. It would be too devastating for everyone and we all depend on each other up to a point.

However I understand your anxiety. I felt the same as a young person, even as a child, at times and campaigned against nuclear weapons, and war, as a teen in the 1960s.

OP, we'll be OK. We've been in this situation with Russia before, including when they last invaded Crimea. There are a lot of Russian financial interests and property in London and they're not likely to shit on their own doorsteps out of spite. The main thing you need to do is look after your own family and the things that are within your control.

@PloppeeDoo OP posted in AIBU. The clue is in the title. She can't then reasonably complain when some people think she is BU. I see it's now been moved to MH which is probably for the best

[quote WildPoinsettia]@PloppeeDoo OP posted in AIBU. The clue is in the title. She can't then reasonably complain when some people think she is BU. I see it's now been moved to MH which is probably for the best[/quote]
Oh the good old 'its AIBU so I can be as awful as I like here'.

Decent people wouldn't read the OP and then proceed to post some of the things they have here. AIBU or not. If you think that makes it okay then go ahead, but I think it says more about you.

It's not going to get that far OP.

If it goes nuclear, it isn't even a war because no one wins. The second Russia launch that warhead, so do we and likely so would the USA. Yeah ok we get wiped off the map but so do Russia.

As soon as nuclear weapons are involved there is no version of this where Russia walk away and Putin is a lot of things but he isn't suicidal. Russia can't invade or reunite anything if they no longer exist.

We'll end up refusing to trade with them and basically boycotting them and there will be consequences but it isn't going to escalate to nuclear war.

There’s some right twats on here .

OP, nuclear war is highly unlikely despite what some of the arseholes on here are saying, who are, I suspect a mixture of Russian trolls, and vile twats who enjoy frightening people. Ignore them.

Big hugs OP I think deep down everyone has anxiety about this... especially because many of us are still carrying the last drabs of the pandemic anxiety.
Some people cope better by being matter of fact. I am sensitive like you and worry about things.
Take a deep breath and have a few days without any social media or news. You're not alone though

@WildPoinsettia

You're displaying some really messed up thinking OP. Nobody has posted actively trying to scare you, people have put their opinion that's all. If you've been scared, that's your response, not something others have done to you. All that happened is you've started a thread and people are having a discussion about it . That's how threads work, especially on this section of the forum. You're accusing people if being spiteful, I see one deleted post?

I can't share my fears irl because I don't want to scare my older child or burden DH with the anxiety.

But you're fine with burdening people here with your worries? People here are, as you've already pointed out, real people. You're not the only real one here.

You post here then kick off because you don't get the exact responses you wanted. Then try to police the thread dictating what can and can't be discussed. Nobody has even strayed off topic.

Try calling a mental health helpline for reassurances. I hope you find a better way of dealing with your problems and get the help you need to feel more rational soon

Nobody has posted actively trying to scare me, really? I fail to see how some of the earlier replies could be intended in any other way.

Nice gaslighting there.

As for trying to police the thread, I have respectfully asked people not to post things such as "If a nuclear war begins we'll all be dead in seconds so there's no need to worry about it" because those types of replies only add to my fear.

I'm not burdening anybody on MN with anything. If people don't want to reply or have no reassurance to give then that's fine, there is no need to post on the thread.

Its horrible to purposefully try to trigger somebody in a current MH crisis. I wouldn't do it to anybody else.

RE burdening mumsnet. Posting here is very different to speaking about it with my DH, in front of my young children. DH can't exactly ignore it the way MN members can.

If my anxiety persists at this level I will make contact with the therapist I saw at the beginning of the pandemic. She helped alot.

Thank you

Thanks ladies I appreciate the kind posts x

Its horrible to purposefully try to trigger somebody in a current MH crisis. I wouldn't do it to anybody else

It is OP. You are right. Don't listen to those trying to excuse themselves with things like 'its okay because it's AIBU'.

It really shouldn't make a difference where someone posts as to whether you are kind / conscious of their well explained MH troubles.

No one has to reply on threads here. There is no obligation to do so therefore you're not burdening anyone, they can scroll on if they like.

What usually eases your anxiety OP? If you feel you need something to make you feel in control, you could look at donating or volunteering for someone like the Red Cross - they will likely be needed in the Ukraine by the Ukrainian people soon.

@PlopperDoo I've offered the OP lots of helpful suggestions for how she could help herself as have others.

As well as pointing out that the problem is her thought processes and that nobody here appears to have posted with the intention of frightening her.

So there's no point trying to make out I'm some kind of monster or insinuating I'm not a decent person just because I think the OP has made a daft choice to come onto a social media discussion board to seek reasurrance about something she read on social media.

The OP will hopefully have some ideas now for how to make more proactive choices about how to help her MH instead of only seeking reassurances from stranges and getting further upset when she doesn't get exactly what she wanted. I have every sympathy with the OP but people do need to help themselves

OP, you say you've had therapy that has successfully managed anxiety in the past.

Are you utilising the techniques learned?

When the children are in bed, you and DH can talk. Or, have you thought about journalling - sometimes just putting it out in the universe can make it easier to stop dwelling in a negative spiral of thoughts.

Its horrible to purposefully try to trigger somebody in a current MH crisis. I wouldn't do it to anybody else.

Nobody has done this.