We'll be ok, won't we?

[Dinosaurs1994]

I keep seeing posts mentioning nuclear war and my previously cured anxiety has returned with such a vengeance I'm petrified and have been reduced to tears. I've just had a baby and have a disabled child. I live in London which would be a target and I'm frightened.

I'm going to need to tune out of the news before it tips me over the edge.

I'm devastated for Ukraine but naturally in my postpartum state my worry lays with my children.

Could somebody, kindly, reassure me that we - here in the UK - will be ok 😭

OP I would just avoid the news and topics like this on here for a while.

I was pregnant at the height of Covid and felt this way about that for a while.

I stopped watching the news at all and hid the Covid topic, didn't speak to friends or family about it anymore etc... And it was so much better. There were points where I honestly had no idea what was going on with infection rates, rules etc... I just didn't have a clue. It was great.

You can't avoid it all the time of course but I'd try doing what you can to avoid it as much as possible in

Turn the news off. There’s abso nothing we can do about this. Just try to crack on with ur everyday life if u can. If not maybe seek some help for anxiety. I used to be incredibly anxious but unfortunately a traumatic event In my life in the last few years really made me realise life’s short. U could be too busy worrying about everything and anything and get hit by a bus tomo !

Op please don’t watch the news. It is a horrific thing that is going on but directly you are not physically affected. I think everyone around the world is at some part worried. Please speak to your GP though and I completely understand your anxiety is at an all time high especially being postpartum.

Keep off the internet for a couple days, cuddle your babies and try understand that there is absolutely nothing you can do about the situation in the world at the moment.

Also be kind to yourself, this world has been hard the last couple of years to live in. Focus on the now, your children and anything else you can directly control. Sending and congratulations on the new baby xx

Times have always been uncertain and that’s certainly not changed. I think we’re probably going to have to accept our standard of living will decrease we won’t be able to heat our homes as much and everything will shoot up in price even more so life’s going to get much more grey. But I don’t think we’ll get bombed.

And honestly I wouldn't seek reassurance from here.

Some posters on MN often seem to relish in doom and gloom and causing increased anxiety in other poster's talking about how"were likely all fucked" (we're not). Just look at how the Covid topic has been!

It's really not the place. A lot of poster's are either unconsciously unkind or purposefully so because you're not a real person to them, you're just a screen.

@XenoBitch

I feel the same OP. My legs have given out twice today from anxiety.. I don't see the point in housework or anything at all.

Does anyone know if there is a way to filter out things on FB newsfeed with certain words in?

Yes. Delete the facebook app from your devices.

It is designed by some of the brightest people on the planet to spread fear, hate, division, paranoia, hysteria & panic as efficiently as possible.

No one's going to attack London of all places. I think a lot of you are genuinely enjoying trying to upset OP as much as possible.

The world managed to survive the decades-long Cold War, when things were much, much more fraught than they currently are, without a single nuclear strike.

There is zero reason to believe that things will suddenly heat up so much more than they ever did during, for example, the Cuban Missile Crisis or the Vietnam War, when nuclear war seemed an actual reality.

As horrifying as it is for Ukrainians, we can only wait and see. Russia annexed the Crimea in 2014 and nothing happened. It's awful that they get away with it, but they do it because they want a buffer zone against the West, because they're terrified of the US and its allies and they're terrified of annihilation. We don't do enough to stop Russia because no one truly wants a nuclear war, not Russia, not the West, not anyone. There is a reason that the first and last nuclear strikes the world ever saw were in August 1945, on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

I'm going to unfollow all news outlets on my social media today. I'll be asking DH not to share anything with me too.

I am focusing on the kind replies and reassurances on the thread and reporting the spiteful ones, which are clearly spiteful given the context I gave in my OP.

The future might not be very clear at the minute and who knows what will happen but purposefully inflicting fear on somebody who's teetering on the edge is extremely cruel.

Somebody in my position could read those comments and think "sod this I would rather take my own life now than wait for that to happen"

I'm not saying that's what I'm thinking btw, but some could be. I'm not the only one crippled with fear on the thread.

My heart goes out to those of you here who feel similarly to me atm, it's fucking shit isn't it?

I'm definitely going to be making a donation today. My heart breaks for the poor people in Ukraine and I feel extremely selfish for even thinking of myself and my family given what they're going through, but such is the nature of anxiety.

Pop Disney+ on for a bit OP, enjoy some downtime away from the news with the kiddos.

Oh sweet heart, it's worrying, and frightening but turn off the news, concentrate on the here and now in your life.
I'm not dismissing your anxiety but practically there's not a lot we, as individuals can do at the moment
We have to have faith

@PlopperDoo

And honestly I wouldn't seek reassurance from here.

Some posters on MN often seem to relish in doom and gloom and causing increased anxiety in other poster's talking about how"were likely all fucked" (we're not). Just look at how the Covid topic has been!

It's really not the place. A lot of poster's are either unconsciously unkind or purposefully so because you're not a real person to them, you're just a screen.

Agreed.

I can't believe some of the responses here to someone who has reached out for support.

They clearly have no idea the effect it can have to someone already clearly distressed.

People are bored to tears of the covid news, so media will have a field day with recent developments. Russia invaded Ukraine in 2014, there has always been unrest, as awful as it is there is no point worrying, carry on with your usual routine, l suffered anxiety but l find listening to Mooji, Sadguru, Jeff foster, Timber Hawkeye etc on youtube very calming, better than any medicine, just centre on yourself and keep well away from the doom and gloom of the news.

@EsmesRedPetticoat

Christ what monumentally in-helpful replies! Please try not to worry OP. Yes, Russia invading Ukraine is bad but it’s highly unlikely to lead to nuclear war because even Russia isn’t that stupid!

Madmen are stupid! They have no concept of rationality. They think they are indestructible. I am very afraid.

I think nuclear war is unlikely, but even if it comes to that London is probably unlikely to be targeted. They would need to leave the government intact in order to have people to negotiate with. Smaller cities and/ or military targets elsewhere around the country would probably be more at risk.

Wow what’s happened to mumsnet? I’m genuinely saddened to see some of these replies, it used to be such a supportive forum. Some of these replies seem almost gleeful.

No, none of us can say for sure what’s going to happen but the OP has asked for reassurance. Can’t give any? Don’t post.

OP I’ve been feeling like you today, and it’s very difficult to get anxiety under control once it rears up especially when it’s triggered in the context of our babies. It’s maternal instinct to protect and when the threat feels too big it can send us into overdrive.
I agree with other posters - stay away from the news, be kind to yourself. Most of all distract yourself. Trash tv, silly games with the children. Try to stay busy so you don’t have time to fall down the rabbit hole.

Ignore the posters here who are being less than helpful.

Whilst I agree it is a very worrying time, at the end of the day, economics will triumph. The 'ordinary' Russian people and the oligarchs are not going to benefit from this. Putin and a few mad war mongers are the only ones who want military action. Sadly there will be casualties on both sides, notably young soldiers will be cannon fodder, but it is extremely unlikely that we will be affected other than economically. By saying this, I don't mean that I don't care about 'others' who will lose loved ones etc, only that I am trying to reassure the OP that her and her LOs are very unlikely to be harmed, other than economically.

My prediction is that Putin will be assassinated or overthrown by someone in Russia, supported by the West.

@Dinosaurs1994

If you're going to post things to frighten me more, please don't.

There's a real person behind this screen. A vulnerable mum with mental health problems.

So why post in an argumentative section of the forum? Why post on a forum at all? Why not seek help from people who knows you IRL who you'll believe their reassurances? People here aren't duty bound to lie to you to make you feel better. People have varying opinions and some have "gallows humour".

As others have said, don't watch the news and stay off social media, which includes Mumsnet. You said yourself you first saw comments on here about the Russia and Ukraine situation. If you hadn't been on here you'd be none the wiser. If you want to be on social media sometimes, try making a pact with yourself that you'll log off it instantly you see something upsetting and go do something to make yourself feel better. You're in charge of your own life.

You choose what activities you spend your day on. Choose things that'll make you calm and happy. Take part in them with real live people with whom you can chat about pleasant things, not strangers on the internet.

The poster who told you to go to the GP isn't wrong, worrying about the situation is normal, this level of angst you're displaying isn't. Go get yourself some help.

OP in this instance I would close down your bubble.

Ignore news and social media, worry about things in your household - cobwebs, dust etc. Worry about the things you can change not the things you can't.

Unmumsnet hug to you x

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time OP.

I can’t excuse some of the responses, but I think that some of this comes from peoples need to not sugarcoat the situation. It would feel like a disservice to those directly affected.

As awful as this sounds, I think compassion towards the fear of the unlikely (I.e anxiety about threat to life in the UK) is swallowed up by compassion of the direct and very real effects off what is currently happening to families all over Ukraine.

Everyone deserves compassion, especially when you’re at a really sensitive time, but we are all human.

Social media is not the place for you at the moment. Snuggle down with a film or a book and try to focus on yourself and your family until you can get to a GP.

When I get anxious I try to remember it is all just a cycle. We see things in a linear fashion - either getting progressively worse or better, but if you look back in history there is a pattern to things. Some academics have predicted that the 2020's would be a time of crisis and economic uncertainty (starting in 2008 and peaking now) but the reassuring part of their theories is that things do pick up again in a positive way and we will come towards the end of this in a few years. It is a natural process. It always helps me to remember this and it is a part of a natural socioeconomic cycle. It's not going to work for everyone though.

You have to remember war is fought far differently now to WW2. Different technology and strategies. Military bases are more likely to get bombed than London. I think you will be fine.

My main concern is the indirect implications and the cost of living.

There absolutely is not going to be any bombs dropping on the UK.
A) NATO are not entering this war, Ukraine is not a member
B) there is a ton of Russian money, Russian property, rich Russians and their families in London, it really would be one of the last places Russia would want to attack
C) mainland Britain hasn’t been invaded since 1066, we are a very long way from the current tensions and have no issues with our near neighbours
D) Last time we were attacked as part of a war rather than a terrorist act we were at war with other Western European countries, no two democracies have ever been at war, Europe is much, much safer now than it was in the 1930s

It’s an awful situation, inflation will rise and there may well be an economic hit as a result, but this is not, nor will it become WW3.