We'll be ok, won't we?

[Dinosaurs1994]

I keep seeing posts mentioning nuclear war and my previously cured anxiety has returned with such a vengeance I'm petrified and have been reduced to tears. I've just had a baby and have a disabled child. I live in London which would be a target and I'm frightened.

I'm going to need to tune out of the news before it tips me over the edge.

I'm devastated for Ukraine but naturally in my postpartum state my worry lays with my children.

Could somebody, kindly, reassure me that we - here in the UK - will be ok 😭

If you're going to post things to frighten me more, please don't.

There's a real person behind this screen. A vulnerable mum with mental health problems.

War on British soil not Eaton

Please see your GP. This isn't a normal level of worry in relation to the current situation. It would be different if you were in Ukraine, but we are safe here. Russia would never attack the UK (or any US allies) as it would essentially mean their destruction. The US is still the most powerful country in the world, and the most armed, and that knowledge acts as a huge deterrent to Russia.

The most likely problem we will face will be some issues with fuel supply, as we import oil and gas from Russia and if we sanction them, that supply will probably be cut. Most of our fuel comes from Norway and the US, however, so there wouldn't be drastic shortages as long as people don't act as stupidly as they have done in recent times with regards to petrol (so, no guarantees, I suppose).

Ukraine is in much more dire straits than we are or will be during this conflict. If you are able to direct your feelings towards a good cause and can afford to, I would suggest donating to a Ukraine-based charity.

[quote ouch12345]@Dinosaurs1994 please don't worry OP. Nuclear war is very unlikely. Putin may be a lot of things but he's not stupid and he's not crazy. [/quote]

@Dinosaurs1994

I keep seeing posts mentioning nuclear war and my previously cured anxiety has returned with such a vengeance I'm petrified and have been reduced to tears. I've just had a baby and have a disabled child. I live in London which would be a target and I'm frightened.

I'm going to need to tune out of the news before it tips me over the edge.

I'm devastated for Ukraine but naturally in my postpartum state my worry lays with my children.

Could somebody, kindly, reassure me that we - here in the UK - will be ok 😭

This isn't about the possibility of war, it's about how you respond to it.

Try and remember, all you can do and all you should do is the day to day care of you and your DC.

That is literally all you need to worry about right now. Close your mind to the rest, let someone else worry about it. You focus on what your DC and you need- that is a job only you can do.

. ((just in case!))

Don't come here for reassurance or people being kind, as the poster above said. There's lots of people who are all very worried on here and unfortunately that doesn't make them the right people to respond either with kindness or, in some instances, rationality.

I think everyone is worried to some extent. I mean this in the least patronising way possible, but you've also just had a baby so your anxiety is likely to be compounded by that. I was the most anxious I've ever been when DS was a newborn, it's our instinct to protect them, as well as the burden (wonderful though it is) of responsibility for this tiny person who we love so much.

Go and give your children a cuddle, do something nice with them today. No one can predict what will happen and we can't influence the outcome particularly, so enjoy what life has to offer you in this exact moment and try to have faith that the nuclear option has always been intended as a deterrent more than as a form of attack. We are equipped to respond in kind and one would hope that that will prevent this option from being tabled as anything more than bluster.

London is also not necessarily likely to be the first location for such an attack, but that's by the by in this instance because one would hope it never happens.

then @Dinosaurs1994 get off mumsnet for a few days, nobody should be lying about whats going on

or avoid the threads with obvious worrying titles

you should hide news,aibu and chat topics

No point in worrying, it changes nothing.

This is gonna sound dark as heck but...

Tbh op in London you have nothing to worry about- because if there was a strike, you'll be dead before you knew it. Its the outlying places that you have to worry about. Places with a bit of distance from the big cities. Where the blast might not kill instantly.

We're all gonna snuff it some day. We could step out the front door and be hit by a bus. At least with a direct nuke attack, it would be quick and...well, we wouldn't have to worry about leaving our family behind :/

So in the hopefully unlikely event it comes to pass, it's not a bad way to go. But maybe stop watching the news if its putting the fear in you. We probably shouldn't spend life thinking about death.

OP, you’re thousands of miles away from the people who are being maimed, killed, and taken from their homes and families.

You’re the lucky one. Try to focus on that.

Just to let you know you're not alone, I feel dreadful in the wake of the news today, really bleak (I'm sure there are loads out their who feel the same too) I'm Trying to avoid the news or even the word Russia but all of social media is consumed by that today. Just focus on your children and take it day by day. It's natural to worry about the safety of your family and this is something in my lifetime at least that I've never experienced before it does seem close to home Xx

@Dinosaurs1994 best thing I can advise is to deactivate your social media accounts, avoid the news and just live your life.
The trouble with today is that the news is shoved in front of your face constantly and sometimes it's biased, sometimes it's what ifs, and mostly opinions and barely any factual news. You'll feel better for it just focus on you and your family.

Thank you to the posters replying with good intentions.

I agree in that being postnatal is contributing to the level of anxiety.

I'm not usually an irrational person, believe it or not. I developed anxiety when the pandemic hit the UK but had it swiftly dealt with. I've been fine since.

I woke up and saw on the news that Russia had invaded Ukraine and thought it best I avoid the news so I don't get too consumed by it. You can't really avoid it though as it's such a big thing it's being discussed everywhere.

I like the idea of donating to a Ukraine charity, I'll do that today.

To echo pp, just a post to say you're not alone. I feel the same, i feel sick with fear for my babies. This comes on top of the pandemic too, it's a lot of fear to have to deal with and, yes, it feels overwhelming

Very helpful Pinkbonbon

I do wonder where basic compassion towards others has gone some days.

I suffer from anxiety OP, not to the extent you do, but I do understand why you are feeling this way. I doubt anyone here will be able to say anything that can completely reassure you because that’s just the nature of anxiety. It’s irrational and overwhelming and sufferers are total victims to it.

Congratulations on your new baby and I hope you find a way to try and keep yourself calm

I think reassurance is impossible with extreme anxiety - I have chronic anxiety so I do understand. I also think this is a complex situation and most people aren’t going to lie about it in order to reassure. I’d really advise switching off the news, turning off Mumsnet and watching some lovely trash TV, cuddling your kids. Easier said than done but you won’t find the reassurance you’re looking for here or watching news.

i remember as a child in the 70's my dad stopped all newspapers because i asked a question about something on the front page involving the IRA

no chance protecting kids from headlines nowadays

To try to give you something reassuring in a balanced, not trite way, let me try this: the invasion of Ukraine by Russia is a dreadful, horrifying thing for the people of Ukraine and it’s a bad thing for Europe and for the world in my view. There will be political and financial consequences that may impact your family in the medium and longer term. As to immediate loss of life and liberty, I do jot believe that you and your children are under any direct threat at all. I think you are safe physically. I don’t want to placate you by saying it’s all “fine”. As it isn’t all fine and that would be patronising. But I do not believe for one moment that you are under any direct threat.

I hope that is helpful. It is intended to me. I understand the fear when you have very young children. Try to relax about this, as awful as it it.

Stop watching the news. If this is the start of the Third World War, which is unlikely but not impossible, there is fuck all any of us can do about it so there’s absolutely no point worrying about it.

It is a worrying time, and with a disabled child, and a newborn, you'd be feeling very vulnerable and protective.

Do you know the Sting song 'I hope the Russians Love Their Children Too'? It was written in the 1980's, when we were very much on this sad old merry go round.

They don't want nuclear war. We don't want nuclear war. We have limited control as individuals as to how this plays out - but as a Mum, your job is the same as it ever was. It is to keep calm and carry on being the best Mum you can be. That means taking care of your mental and physical health, and if you need to go to the GP to talk about issues excessive anxiety may be causing you - please don't put it off!

It's understandable, it is, and has been, for some time now, a very chaotic and disturbing time. It's natural to be anxious. But try not to let it get on top of you. You just keep doing you, and your two gorgeous little ones. We'll get through this. This really isn't the first rodeo.

I feel the same OP. My legs have given out twice today from anxiety.. I don't see the point in housework or anything at all.

Does anyone know if there is a way to filter out things on FB newsfeed with certain words in?

@Pinkbonbon

This is gonna sound dark as heck but...

Tbh op in London you have nothing to worry about- because if there was a strike, you'll be dead before you knew it. Its the outlying places that you have to worry about. Places with a bit of distance from the big cities. Where the blast might not kill instantly.

We're all gonna snuff it some day. We could step out the front door and be hit by a bus. At least with a direct nuke attack, it would be quick and...well, we wouldn't have to worry about leaving our family behind :/

So in the hopefully unlikely event it comes to pass, it's not a bad way to go. But maybe stop watching the news if its putting the fear in you. We probably shouldn't spend life thinking about death.

Why would you think this was helpful?

I grew up under the shadow of the Cold War. We've been lucky for quite a while now. This is horrific and very worrying, but it's nothing that new.

London won't be the first target. As someone said, the UK isn't that important.

Putin not crazy? The man is totally deranged. It would be lovely if we could reassure OP that everything will be hunky dory, but we can't and likely we're all fucked.

@LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood

To try to give you something reassuring in a balanced, not trite way, let me try this: the invasion of Ukraine by Russia is a dreadful, horrifying thing for the people of Ukraine and it’s a bad thing for Europe and for the world in my view. There will be political and financial consequences that may impact your family in the medium and longer term. As to immediate loss of life and liberty, I do jot believe that you and your children are under any direct threat at all. I think you are safe physically. I don’t want to placate you by saying it’s all “fine”. As it isn’t all fine and that would be patronising. But I do not believe for one moment that you are under any direct threat.

I hope that is helpful. It is intended to me. I understand the fear when you have very young children. Try to relax about this, as awful as it it.

Thank you so much.

I really appreciate your words (and others offering similar platitudes)

I know some people are saying if it'll happen it'll happen and there's no point worrying about it because we'll be wiped out in seconds, and I understand why some people find acceptance in that, but it's very very detrimental to my current MH to hear it.

I can't share my fears irl because I don't want to scare my older child or burden DH with the anxiety.