I am alone and scared witless.

[DumbledoresGirl]

I know there is nothing anyone can do, except me perhaps, but I just feel the need to let you know that dh left for his 2 week business trip this morning, and so here I am, scared silly, crying whenever I stop for five seconds to think of my situation, and having panic attacks every time I think how long 2 weeks is.

I don't even know if I will spend every waking moment on MN or bury myself away in a hole, but in case I am here, I wanted you to know this is the state I am in right now. Please forgive anything I might say in the next 2 weeks. I am so wrapped up in myself, I don't know what I am doing half the time.

If you need to know why I am in this state, there was a thread in "feeling depressed" last week explaining.

dear dumbledg, sorry to read this [hugs], haven't read the other threaad but I hope you're ok. I'm around today so I'll look out for your posts.
xx

well, I know this is probaly not going to help much, but are there any things you like doing that he hates? can you rent a load of girly films for example? that's one of the things I do when dh goes away. perhaps I'd better read your other thread before I give any more tips, hangd on...

Hugs DG.

not an expert and propbably no help but keep posting and take each day minute at a time, try to arrange stuff to do with friends, family etc,

sorry but cant find your other thread

If I remember correctly, you're at home with 4 children, and no family near by? My dh recently went away for a week, leaving me alone with the two children.

It helps if you have a plan of action for all eventualities - phone numbers of friends and neighbours who can help if necessary.

I made sure I had the phone numbers for the electricity board, gas board etc, and a mobile phone always charged in a place where I could find it.

And remember, the chances are, everything will be fine

oooh and can i be sexiest mumsnetter please?

although prob fattest

lol at calling a mumsnetter fat. better to start a thread about the evils of bottles/spoons/only children surely?

I'm up to speed now dg. and I still think things to distract you will help. so yes, start some contraversial threads. take the kids out, maybe chat up the neighbours? maybe they are friendlier than you think

I am such a wreck. I don't know what to do. I feel sick with all the panicking and crying I am doing.

What makes it worse is that I am not usually so incapable. In fact, most people think I am incredibly capable and strong and self-reliant. What a joke that would be if they could see me now!

Just to stop anyone reading the boring thread preceding this one: I have the world's stupidest phobia for a mother of four: fear of them and me being sick. I can't do anything nice such as go out or take my children out to while away the days as my phobia prevents it. I have no friends or family anywhere near me, not really any support network either. It is me and four children and anything life throws at me, on my own, for 2 weeks.

Oh and I went to the GP last week and he was sympathetic but not really helpful.

Sorry for terse post but it is the best I can do, crying the way I am right now.

I am even scared of posting off this thread on MN. I have been upset about this trip for nearly a week now, and I have noticed some of my comments to other Mners on other threads have been rather terse. That is why I posted this thread as I want people to know I am in a crisis and forgive anything I might say and regret.

I am in Gloucestershire, just north of Bristol.

DG I am so sorry to hear this but am glad you have been able to say how you are feeling. We will all try to give you as much support as we can. Please let us know if there are things we can be doing for you.

Has the gp offered no sources of support like some counselling or support group of some kind? I don't think you should apologise for this serious condition. No one knows what it's really like in someone else's skin do they? It's easy for brave people to say 'be brave!' isn't it?

Dumbledoresgirl, I've got no helpful advice for you I'm afraid but I'm not sure you're after advice right now anyway.
Hopefully the company on here can make you feel just a little less alone while your dh is away. I wish there was something more I could do to help but am 100s of miles away.
Would being in touch with a local Mner help at all? There are some in your area IIRC.

How's your sleeping?

have you got sky/cable? Let me know and I'll look out some good movies on this week.

GP has put me down for three sessions of group relaxation therapy but they could take anything up to 6 months to occur. I will try it with an open mind (I have previously been very closed minded and unresponsive to these things) but it was not what I was hoping for. I want the phobia addressed directly, not offered ways of coping with it.

That said, he was lovely and sympathetic. I know that I will always be able to go back to him and he will understand where I am coming from. I am not sure how I got so little from seeing him tbh. He did mention private counselling but wanted me to try the relaxation course first. I never really know whether it is appropriate to mentin to GPs the possibility of trying other therapies such as hynotherapy. I imagine they would poo-poo them.

Oh DG

I've spoken in the past to you about this havent I.
I really really feel for you. It is horrid. I'm exactly the same when dh goes away and tbh I have to have someone stay with me now because I cant cope on my own.

I Have cable tv but I always go to bed early when dh is away in case the worst happens in the night and I need to have as much energy as possible to deal with it. Also, sleeping helps the time to pass more quickly.

Right now, I feel so insanely jealous of every woman I see with her partner at her side, or every man I see taking his child to playgroup, school, etc. Why can't I have a man like that?

I think the thing with relaxation stuff, is that once your anxiety is at such a high level, it makes everything worse - just taking that anxiety level down a step could make everything seem a bit more manageable iyswim

did he offer you CBT?

Nbg, I would have somebody to stay if there was anyone to stay. The only person who I can sometimes get though is my MIL and she is not possible right now as she lives half the year in Australia and isn't due over here until later this month (in time to come and stay so that dh and I can be with our youngest who has to have an operation - so this month was going to be bad enough as it was with the operation looming over us without dh now going away)

DG, I'm going to link this to Melsy. She has told me all about something called EFT (emotional freedom therapy). She describes it as acupuncture but without the needles and it works very quickly by tapping certain points and it can be done face to face, by phone or even email!

I'm considering it atm because the CBT i am having isnt working.

There is a site where you can find a local counsellor but I havent got it on this laptop. As soon as I get it, I will link it for you.

Foxinsocks, I am not sure really what was the thing he said I could have if I was prepared to pay. It was some sort of therapy and I think he said it would be six sessions, but he didnd't explain too much as he wants me to try the relaxation thing first. It was mentioned more as something to move onto later rather than something to consider now iyswim.

Have you got any friends nearby who you could call if you needed them?

I know how you feel because all my family are miles away.
I have to prebook them