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Original poster

I am alone and scared witless.

261 replies

DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 09:15

I know there is nothing anyone can do, except me perhaps, but I just feel the need to let you know that dh left for his 2 week business trip this morning, and so here I am, scared silly, crying whenever I stop for five seconds to think of my situation, and having panic attacks every time I think how long 2 weeks is.

I don't even know if I will spend every waking moment on MN or bury myself away in a hole, but in case I am here, I wanted you to know this is the state I am in right now. Please forgive anything I might say in the next 2 weeks. I am so wrapped up in myself, I don't know what I am doing half the time.

If you need to know why I am in this state, there was a thread in "feeling depressed" last week explaining.

OP posts:
ForeverBlowingBubbles · 05/03/2007 10:58

DG, I just wanted to add that with the neuro-linguistic programming, the effect was immediate after just one session - completely cured (in her case, anyway, not sure if it is immediate cure for everyone) so it's definitely worth checking it out. Perhaps if you have a practitioner locally, you could give them a call and just ask about it, see what they say.

losty · 05/03/2007 11:04

you can be my brother if you like, but I will remain a sister

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 11:07

It is an asexual term losty.

OP posts:
GooseyLoosey · 05/03/2007 11:11

Hi - very sorry you are going through this. I have health anxiety (sure me and dcs and dh will drop dead everytime we have a cold), so I really do sympathise with trying to deal with a phobia on your own with 4dcs.

I live north of Bath - I work part-time, but if you just want to know that someone is there in case of emergency as a kind of safety blanket, I would be happy to let you have contact details.

losty · 05/03/2007 11:25

nah not for me! I dont particularly want to be a brother - I am quite content to be a sister and a woman!

foxybrown · 05/03/2007 11:25

Don't be, i dont have to contend with the same things as you, so can only offer practical advice. wish i could do more, but you have lots of help and support from these lovely MNrs. Good luck xx

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 11:47

Thank you Gooseyloosey.

OK then Losty, we are not blood brothers. I am the opposite of you. I want nothing to do with the sisterhood, but perhaps I shouldn't say that here?

OP posts:
mufti · 05/03/2007 11:48

dg - i have asked for prayer for you on our march thread - hope you don't mind. captain dippy says for you to go there for a chat. can't do links sorry.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 11:49

Mufti, thank you. I thought of the prayer thread during the weekend but thought it had stopped these days. I will search it out as I know it welcomes even agnostics like me.

OP posts:
mufti · 05/03/2007 11:58

that's so true. i wish i could help more, but again this site, or rather the users, are really doing their very best for you. which is so good to see.

littlelapin · 05/03/2007 12:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

losty · 05/03/2007 12:41

{{{{{hugs DG}}}}

lulabelle · 05/03/2007 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 13:57

I am intrigued Lulabelle. Who were you before? I was Lonelymum. Yes, I do that breaking it down into fractions too. Or I count how many hours (days in this case ) until dh is due home and them think back to what I was doing that many of hours earlier. Unfortunately, at the moment, that is not a very helpful thing as I can hardly remember 2 weeks back, but it will become more useful as the days go by.

OP posts:
Elliepops · 05/03/2007 14:12

Dear ddg, just to let you know, I'm often in a similar situation to you but not for as long and i know how horrible it is and how easy it is to worry yourself sick over small things. Also, i have a friend who has your phobia and she was cured by therapy sessions organised by her dr. take care xx

Littlefish · 05/03/2007 14:23

DG - just to second what Nbg said. A friend of mine had some sessions of the "tapping" thing - sorry, can't remember what it's called. She suffered from terrible anxiety, fear of eating in public, and emetophobia. She has found it incredibly helpful. She only had 3 sessions.

My dh also goes away for 2 - 3 weeks at a time. He's going away in April and I'm already getting a feeling of dread.

However, I tend to find that the anticipation is worse than his actual absence. I try and book to see as many people as possible and save up a couple of really good new books to read while he's away.

lulabelle · 05/03/2007 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sandfairy · 05/03/2007 16:36

Really feel for you. I have had phases in my life where this precise irrational phobia has given me panic attacks too... must go and read your other thread about it, and a school teacher colleague of mine also has the same thing...not the best phobia to have in a room of 30 kids. The only thing that helped me was to try to get out in the fresh air as much as poss...although you said your phobia prevents this. I also got a bit obsessed about exercise, eating healthily and never getting drunk or being around drunk people...sounds v dull, but it was a good precaution. Just so hard for you to cope with when you have 4 kids. I know it doesn't feel like it when you're panicking, but the reality is so much LESS bad than the fear.

Nbg · 05/03/2007 17:22

Dg, how you doing now?

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 18:00

Sandfairy, you are so right when you say the reality is worse than the fear. Sometimes, very fleetigly, I realise that. It is like a shaft of sunshine shining on a hillside for the split second it lasts, and then the realisation gets smothered by the fear again. I wish someone could show me how to hold on to the realisation permanently.

Nbg, I am OKish. Still twitchy and nervous and despairing of how I will get through, but the children have just eaten well and seem in good spirits, so I am not too bad. Just off to have some Kalms tablets. I don't see they make any difference to me, but it sort of makes me feel better to think I am doing something to help myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 18:01

Sorry, that should be the reality is not as bad as the fear! Otherwise the whole sentence makes no sense whatsoever!

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Nbg · 05/03/2007 19:04

Ahh well done
1 day down......

jollymum · 05/03/2007 19:15

DG you talked about hypnosis, well I had a session with a wonderful lady to stop smoking. She totally "stopped" me in one session and as you know, your fear is in your head and irrational. I have skimmed through the thread and if you want to come here to me, will fix you up an appointment and if you're stuck for cash pay for you too. She's a wonderful woman and if you want something badly enough (which you do) it WILL work. I'm near Birmingham and you're welcome to come here

tribpot · 05/03/2007 19:16

DG, I'm so sorry you are struggling with this I wish I could do something to help. As your youngest is still (presumably) nominally under the care of a health visitor, can you ask her/him to see if they can access any counselling options? That's how I got my current counsellor. I've read your other thread, why isn't the GP referring you for CBT?

tribpot · 05/03/2007 19:17

jollymum, good for you.