I am alone and scared witless.

[DumbledoresGirl]

I know there is nothing anyone can do, except me perhaps, but I just feel the need to let you know that dh left for his 2 week business trip this morning, and so here I am, scared silly, crying whenever I stop for five seconds to think of my situation, and having panic attacks every time I think how long 2 weeks is.

I don't even know if I will spend every waking moment on MN or bury myself away in a hole, but in case I am here, I wanted you to know this is the state I am in right now. Please forgive anything I might say in the next 2 weeks. I am so wrapped up in myself, I don't know what I am doing half the time.

If you need to know why I am in this state, there was a thread in "feeling depressed" last week explaining.

Never left Lonelymum LGJ. She is right here all the time. Gawd I am feeling maudlin.

Oh and do you remember what I did when dh moved jobs? I upped and hoiked the kids out of school with 2 days notice and moved with him. That shocks me even now to remember it.

Yes

But you have a much more positive outlook on life these days, you will be fine.

Right I am off to watch Life on Mars, e-mail if you need me.

Love

LGJ

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I am beginning to feel a little panicked. I think I might go to bed. Thanks for the confidence though.

Just adding my voice DG - well done, and you will get through this.

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Hows things this morning?

Did you have a good night and how are you feeling this morning?

The night was fine, thanks. but I got really panicked last night for no reason (hence went to bed early). I was feeling a bit sick and couldn't work out if I felt sick and hence was panicking or if I was panicking and hence felt sick iyswim.

This morning, I still feel a bit sick and still don't know if it is caused by my panicking or vice versa. The length of time still to go seems so long. The longest dh has ever been away before was 9 nights and that is what I still have to face now. Plus, when he did that 9 night trip, I had my MIL staying with me for the middle 3 nights whereas now I am facing them all alone.

This is really really hard and not getting easier tbh.

DG, what I have learnt from CBT is that what I fear is brought on by me being panicked and anxious.

I remember one very bad night I had. The next day I felt like I had been whacked about the head with a mallet and very very sick.
It will be the anxiety making you feel like that.

I sometimes find that sitting outside, taking some deep breaths and sipping some water helps me.

hi dumble , nbg passed your thread on to me. I havent yet read it all , but I know how you feel regards to panick attacks and anxiety. I know a little about fearing sickness , as I do stop myself from being sick.

There are many therapies out there ,to sort all sdorts of maladies and nasty mental health porblems, and believe me Ive tried many. Conventional , unconvnetial holisitic , spiritual and just plain old awful . I find talky ones were awful for my ruminating mind , I needed results that helped me move on and fast. Hypnotherapy was pne that was great , but it also had its limits. I think the better therapies are the dynamic ones that deal with things on all sorts of levels , mind body spirit .To this end I have found EFT to be the MOST miraculous, It near enough stop dead 3 years of PTSD and many other anxities. Most practitioners doing this are able to do it over the phone if u are unable to go to them, but it is good to see them in person and see the therapy in action. A simple explanantion would be that it is akin to a sort of acupuncture. The difference is it only uses your own fingers tapping on various upper body parts and speaking out loud accepting statements about your condiiton and then accepting statements aboiut yourself. nce learnt you can then continue to use it when needed.

Here is a link to a VERY good webiste by the founder, gary craig on EFT .I think theres also a search faciltiy for practioners everywere.

{{{{DG}}}} I am here

Hi DDG - sorry it is not getting any easier - but just think that it is nearly the weekend so almost halfway there! Have you decided if you will visit your parents or not?

{{{{{{DG}}}}}} you ok?

Yes, thank you losty, I am as well as can be expected. I came over all funny last night. No offence to all my supporters and please keep on posting, but I felt a bit panicked by everyone telling me I was doing fine, perhaps because I can see and know the truth!

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Hi DG - you're doing absolutely brilliantly - you're coming on here, posting, which is good - keeping yourself going! How are the kids - is everyone well? Keep giving them nice bland food they love - 9 days of fishfingers and chips won't kill them!

Will be keeping thinking of you and checking this thread.

DG - Good on ya girl! Don't forget you can text me...

Morning {{{{{DG}}}}

Morning back. Grief, is it only three days I have done? Someone must have slowed down time.

Well, all is OK at the moment, but I had bad news last night in that I can't go and visit my parents this weekend as hoped as they are too busy. TBH, I never thought it would happen as my 4 children are a bit too much for my parents who are getting on now (plus my mother had a major stroke last Septemer) and neither of them know about my phobia. Dh tried to arrange the visit for me, and when I spoke to my father last night he was a bit bemused and said "Dh seemed to think you would be lonely" which just did not make sense to my father as I am not someone who is normally scared of being alone and I am quite happy in my own company. Obviously dh couldn't mention the phobia so came up with loneliness as an excuse for my parents to have us to visit, but the loneliness excuse just does not ring true with anyone who knows me. So I had to pretend that dh was being over protective and the weekend is now off.

So 8 more nights on my own and nothing to do all weekend. That is probably just as well. At least it will mean we are not mixing with bugs.