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Original poster

I am alone and scared witless.

261 replies

DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 09:15

I know there is nothing anyone can do, except me perhaps, but I just feel the need to let you know that dh left for his 2 week business trip this morning, and so here I am, scared silly, crying whenever I stop for five seconds to think of my situation, and having panic attacks every time I think how long 2 weeks is.

I don't even know if I will spend every waking moment on MN or bury myself away in a hole, but in case I am here, I wanted you to know this is the state I am in right now. Please forgive anything I might say in the next 2 weeks. I am so wrapped up in myself, I don't know what I am doing half the time.

If you need to know why I am in this state, there was a thread in "feeling depressed" last week explaining.

OP posts:
ipanemagirl · 05/03/2007 09:46

DG, don't know if this helps but there are some phobia ocd groups with forums where people might have more experience of finding solutions?

This is an ocd one with a forum:
www.ocduk.org/4/groups.htm

KTeePee · 05/03/2007 09:47

Oh DDG, was about to email you to see how you are doing....

Is there really nothing you could cope with doing that would get you out of the house for at least part of the day? If not, how about doing some major spring cleaning this week (even if the house doesn't really need it) so at least if you are at home you are busy? Or maybe do a load of cooking/baking and stock up the freezer? Could you bear to go to a garden centre and get some new plants and spend some time in the garden? The fresh air and daylight would probably help....

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 09:48

Thanks NBG. A Mner (MarmaladeSun I think her name was) once recommended hynotherapy and I found a practitioner locally but I am scared of wasting precious money on something that might not work. Plus, going over my phobia is in itself quite damaging to me so I would have to feel it was worth while before trying.

OP posts:
ipanemagirl · 05/03/2007 09:48

The other thread is from phobia awareness... just thought you need as much support as possible.
www.phobics-awareness.org/chat.htm
Thinking of you.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 09:50

KTP, of all those ideas, the gardening one is probably best. I know fresh air would help and we have a huge garden that dh and I have little idea what to do with.

The cooking one is very hard. I can't even bear cooking and eating when I am like this. And I find it really hard to give my children food to eat (because of what might happen to that food). Dh told me to feed them on burgers and chips for the fortnight saying it wouldnt harm them for just 2 weeks - I won't go that far, but that shows you how hard I find it to face food at times like this.

OP posts:
grannycrackers · 05/03/2007 09:52

having panic attacks doesn't mean you are not strong and capable. everyone has their crisis points.
something i have found invaluable in the past is reevaluation co-counselling. it is free, confidential and non-judgemental and all over the world. the website is rcdotorg and if you contact them there may be people in your area. some people say this is a cult but i have used it and very rarely do it now and cetrtainly don't agree with all of it.
hth

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 09:52

ipanemagirl - I am aware of those sites already. One of the GP's "bright ideas" was to photocopy bits of the sites for me to read. I didn't like to tell him I had read them all years ago!

OP posts:
ipanemagirl · 05/03/2007 09:53

sorry for obvious and not useful advice! are there no helplines at all in these specialist groups?

Marina · 05/03/2007 09:53

How old is your oldest DG - old enough to be an effective helper for this fortnight?

losty · 05/03/2007 09:53

{{{{{hugs DG}}}}}

You know where I am and you know I am here for you, whenever and however you want, any time. You know I understand and will do anything to help you.

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

KTeePee · 05/03/2007 09:54

oops sorry - didn't think of that with the cooking!

Ok, out in the garden with you then, do some digging, clearing up etc if you don't fancy going to a garden centre - the added bonus is it should help you sleep tonight.

Nbg · 05/03/2007 09:54

The beauty of EFT is that you dont really have to go over the fear/phobia. Its very quick and like I said you can do it which ever way you want.

I emailed my local counsellor and he was very helpful. He was going to charge me £25 for the first session but the first 15 mins was free to see whether you thought it was going to work and if you gelled with the counsellor. Sessions were £40 after that.

Melsy will tell you to go for it because it does work!

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 09:55

Marina - he is 10. The GP suggested I got him to help out in a crisis too, but in the case of the crisis I dread the most, I could not do that to him (plus I don't think he would be able to cope).

Losty, hello. Thanks.

OP posts:
Nbg · 05/03/2007 09:55

Was also going to say is there any mumsnetters near you but Losty answered that

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 09:57

Regretably, Losty is nowhere near me, physically anyway. mentally, we are blood brothers. i hope she won't mind me saying that.

OP posts:
foxybrown · 05/03/2007 10:03

I'm thinking of you. I'm frequently on my own sometimes for weeks at a time - have 3 LO's and another due.
I know its worse for you, but you get through it the best you can, try to do some nice things for yourself, whether its a fav tv prog, favourite dinner anything you like. I look forward to the time when the lo's are asleep and I don't have to worry about cooking DHs dinner, so if I want cornflakes I can.
I get superorganised to take the pressure off myself, little things like getting clothes ready for next day, cooking tea in the morning.
I also arrange lots of tea/lunch playdates to keep the kids occupied.
Two weeks seems like a long stretch. Weekends are hard because we assume everyone else is having family time, but honestly, a lot aren't and there are often others assuming the same thing, so do ask who is around.
Its really hard now, but you'll get into your routine and everyday will get easier.
I find it really hard when DH comes back! My peace is shattered! Good luck LOL

foxinsocks · 05/03/2007 10:06

could you call the GP back, perhaps try the medication he offered?

I agree distraction is the key - gardening is a great idea (and it's exercise too ) - also, just congratulating yourself for every day that you get through.

losty · 05/03/2007 10:06

sisters DG

In a rush now, but will check in when I can DG and my mobile is always in my pocket xx

wrinklytum · 05/03/2007 10:08

DG so sorry you are feeling like this.You must be an incredibly capable person to be able to cope with four children,I think.I struggle with two!.

Re the emetophobia,I can truly understand that this must be an incredibly terrible phobia to have.I once nursed a patient with this who was undergoing chemo and it was pretty hellish for her.TBH the CBT did work somewhat for her.I do not know if you realise but there is a website for sufferers-

emetonline dot co dot uk

I don't know if this would be any use for you??

In the meantime I really hope things go OK for you and am sending a big cyber hug

ForeverBlowingBubbles · 05/03/2007 10:22

Sorry to hear of what you're going through, but I know of someone who had a similar phobia which completely and utterly disappeared when she had a session with a hypnotherapist using neuro-linguistic programming. It was expensive but well worth it.

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 10:30

Thanks for your posts. I check in from time to time and it is nice to see what people say.

I feel humbled by your post foxybrown. My dh is often away, but usually only for 2/3 nights. This 2 weeks period is the longest I have ever had to endure. Maybe one day I will be as used to it as you are, but I hope not iyswim!

foxinsocks - yes, I have it at the back of my mind that if push comes to shove, I will ring the GP surgery, insist on speaking to the man I saw last week (that will be hard enough to arrange I imagine, but I will not be put off - that is the strong DG talking!) and get him to presribe whatever he had in mind. he did say they were easily addictive though, so I was very put off by that throught at the time, but if that is what I need for these 2 weeks, I will get it. It is good to have that thought to fall back on.

wrinklytum - thanks for the website. I am aware of it but I find it rather depressing to think that there are people out there who seem to be moreorless defined as emetophobes (even though I am one myself). The patient you described on chemo - that is a nightmare of mine. Poor woman.

Losty - you know I am not into the sisterhood! I like reading books about men and battles etc so the term is blood brothers not sisters! But as you will....

OP posts:
Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 10:32

FBB - yes, I think that option is the oneMarmaladeSun once recommended and there was a practitioner near me. I am sceptical, but I do not forget these ideas, and maybe I will look into it if everything the GP can offer me fails.

OP posts:
Nikki76 · 05/03/2007 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
DumbledoresGirl · 05/03/2007 10:40

Nikki, well done! I have written down your number just in case, but I think you should now ask MN to delete your post as you dond't know who might pick up your number. Thanks for writing it though.

OP posts:
Nikki76 · 05/03/2007 10:52

I have asked them to do that....hope they don't mind! I agree, bit daft of me to do that really, hope nothing bad comes of it....ahh well, its done now and at least you feel better for having my no so that's good