Cybergarden: Spring into Summer

[Upwardandonward]

Here's a new thread for us.

Poor AfternoonD, I don't think it's possible to relax while arranging a housemove, one of the most stressful times in anyone's life, and not surprised you're feeling down if confined to the couch with pain and short of food.
Did you eat all the KKDonuts today? As it's a Saturday tomorrow, would it be possible to organise someone to accompany you while taking DS out for a while? It would be good-for-you too, and worth taking extra painkiller.
Also worth having something fairly fast to prepare and non-fattening available, otherwise junk-food is just too tempting, or so I've found, and maybe your DP's thinking same thing.
Tomorrow's another day, and hope it's a better one for you.

AfternoonD, if you managed all that organising, including wrangling with utility etc companies, while in pain and stuck on the sofa, then you've achieved loads today and deserve a .

Loving all the links, Future. Sorry you're not so well today.

at ndt and beagle being especially keen on crowns that roll well!

Thinking of you, Upward, and hoping you're hanging on in there OK. Do you have anything planned for the jubilee weekend?

Major spoon-shortage and must crash now, but sleep well everyone, and here's to good tomorrows.

There's an idea, Nilgiri, wonder if anyone has any exciting plans for Jubilee weekend? Fraid I don't, as usual, but hoping to get in some sitting around in both gardens (not very ambitious I'm afraid). Am trialling "Biofreeze", new painkiller, which has, so far, worked on one out of two areas but rather expensive.
Really hope that all gardeners have enough spoons to enjoy at least some of the time (and hope to hear that upward's managing OK these days).
Makes espresso for wake-up purposes, plus usual trayfull, not forgetting flumps and KKDonuts, also puts basic craft techniques into gold paint and cardboard to make rolling, bouncing crowns to amuse beagle and ndt, who really can't join in the KKD experience...

< gratefully dives into party tin provided by Showtime >
< ndt and beagle bat specially -crafted soft ,bouncing [crowns}
< HF looks on superior in her comfortably- fixed crown >
Hope Biofreeze helps , Showtime , and wish was availale on prescription

No anti jubilee parties here- had to miss last week's - but loads of pro parties on recreation grounds etc , so I hope people will enjoy it .Lots of bunting and flags in some areas . Brilliant meetings & talk in nearby town but Dh has lurgy & has been feeling very low , so am waiting before meanly taking up offer of going despite sufferinggo < mean wife >Raelly sorry for not posting last night , couldn't stay awake after many errands

Doing our goaty toes that utilitiy companies will honour their obligations as agreed , AfternoonD - agree greatly deserved for your efforts in dealing with companies

Oh misery at your being stuck on sofa all day . Sorry for all the pain , and the emotional effects . I know I am panicked nowadays by times of having no choice of going out - I look to fellow cybergardeners for inspiration , which is not fair as it's a grim thing for the most patient person

Magnificent advice , Showtime . Unusually , I felt rubish tooyesterday from lack of much food -in / and difficulty preparing real -and my body wasn't needing as many nutrients as your will have been requiring to deal with pain , & stress of house move etc < clucks >
Heh at awe at doughnut munching , Showtime . They hardly touch the sides , let alone last more than a day

As to curbing your appetite so as not to worry DP , please don't - I know very hard not to fretabout each other (see my panic when Dh not walking around oftene nough for his health issues) , but I'm sure he would have wanted you to get takeaway rather than go to bed hungry if had realised . I know that missing eating meals quadruples my anxiety < clucks>

Can you put funny film / audiobook / radio on to make the sorting more bearable ?

So sorry spoon shortage was major yesterday , lovelyNilgiri ,and hope you
have a restorative weekend . Love the My Hero project and will return to it . Sorry for being pinching your phrases ( bet you didn't know you had distinctive ones ), must get brain into own groove

s

Just typed out then lost a post after first of the weekend Skypes, now I can't remember what it was about apart from sending good wishes to futuredream and her DH who's been under the weather.
Hope all gardeners have a good weekend, celebrating or not, and thanks to futuredream for sending medical aid (which have again forgotten to try) and explaining to friend of limited experience about modern doughnuts.

A good afternoon here, first a call from DB to say the luxury item I asked him to get for me in the city has been reduced by 40percent, then an offer to go back and buy another while at this amazing price (one more present to store in the drawer). After an hour or so in total, managed to do sums, get Mac key, give notice to BT and arrange for new ISP - not forty per-cent off this time, but still pleased at price. Even more pleased to have stopped procrastinating and got this arranged, so had to share this - a change from complaining , and hope other gardeners are pleased with today's negotiations.

Congrats on ditching BT, Showtime. Much impressed at your success, and at today's bargains.

This new painkiller sounds interesting, glad to hear it's at least partially useful. Maybe it will soon come down in price if it's a fairly new thing on the market?

I have stock phrases? Actually I know I do, but oddly can't see any in your post, future. Oh dear, I have no idea what I sound like, do I?

Sorry about general unwellness in Future household. Hope DH gets proper recovery time, as he's been pushing himself so hard for so many months. Healing thoughts to both of you.

Hmm, Krispy Kreme donuts are clearly one of those things where I diverge from other cybergardeners' tastes. Now a trad round doughnut with raspberry jam, and sugar that comes off on your hands, that's a different matter...

AfternoonD hope today has been less frustrating.

Upward, thinking of you, as always.

Evening all, with massive apologies as needed to dormouse after outing - which I was amazed twe Dh managed , and I'd already done my Thing this week ( TM Nilgri )

Sorry you lost a post Showtime , and thank you so much for sympathising and I'm so sorry for moaning on atm . There needs to be a
massive easing of Dh's responsibilities , and attempts to do so are causing further stress ! I am very determined, if inept .

Your DB is a splendid personal shopper, ShowtimeYou may have
to pay inm yet more chocolate( and I know you're generous with fares ,
big meals etc too) How is he at the moment ? Hope you remember to use the new products - mine a minutely tiny thing and unlikely to be any great shakes , but tgoaty toes for the other stuff

You are a lovelty person to get second item to stash in your present drawer

Hope you're not quite as exhausted as yesterday , Nilgiri , and haveI know you don't adore rainy days , so I hope you can enjoy being cosy tomorrow , watching the events & joining the national rejoicing My DM has planted a red, white and blue basket for her balcony , which is sweet as she saw Her Majesty and Princess Margaret a few times , before & after fter Coronation

All thinking of you , Upward , and hoping you have some pleasant pasttimes . Really hope hard patch is easing .

Hope sorting was less depressing than anticipated , AfternoonD and
sorry for mention of afternoon out when I wish we could all be out if
want to

Hope Kizzie's and madmouse's families have a good weekend

hot choc and small cups for kind fairies

Thanks to both Nilgiri and futuredream for interesting posts, and regret my dormousing just merged into bedtime.
Will indeed let everyone know if new painkiller works, as indeed a new item using a S.American holly, if I remember. Your gel-cloths are also new to me futuredream and last ones I tried (pain clinic) were Lidocaine-soaked (and so messy to use). You're correct about DB being useful at shopping, having worked in pharmaceuticals (and grown up assisting in dispensary after me) plus a good eye for design and a bargain - must remember to check chocolate supplies indeed.

Sorry that your DH is feeling over-worked, probably been a "willing horse" in the beginning, and it takes time to delegate stuff to other people, who may be less consciencious (is that a word I wonder?) Hope there's an improvement soon, or at least a decent break to re-fuel, and for you too.

Joining in with best wishes for upward, and also for Nilgiri and *AfternoonD"- sending waves of positive energy over the holiday, accompanied by extra spoons.

Not stock phraes , Nilgiri - I knew I was sounding all wrong ... when one "speaks" with amusing people , their phrases stick in one's mind< HF brings fuschias to all >

How interesting that you both worked in yur DF's pharmacy ,Showtime . I can imagine you being extremely precise & holistic about customers' needs
Am impressssed at DB's career in pharmaceuticals , which he must unfortunately miss at times , unfand certainly sounds as though DB ahas a good eye .

Hope Upward is having a better time than recently, and can enjoy the Jubilee atmosphere and maybe coverage , whatever her views

Thank you both so much for support & healing thoughts , been scary to
see Dh like this with the "refusal" of ILs / hcps /agencies so far to believe us . Very wise points Showtime , mean a lot to me -Dh not at all a willing workhorse, though a very perceptive point , & a trap most people fall into art some time
Thank you , as breakis in order for him , and was very precious to have fternoon out yesterday - were able to go to a literary thing about a uniquely warm-hearted writer , done by equally lovely people . Afterwards , we ate our tea on hillsside in gentle rain , overlooking "ancestral" fields & villages - and still I manage a grumpy bedtime post , so sorry

Argh , sorry , Showtimethought I'd congratulated you on leaving that horrible company, who have given terrible service to relatives- would be good
news even wwithout a saving , & changing is indeed a daunting business

Good point that price of holly drug may fall , Nilgiri and the Lidocaine cloths sound extremely messy& staining to clothes.

Really 're feeling slightly less wiped out , Nilgiri , and have a lovely bak holiday with DP
s and regals

Good afternoon everyone

Had an extremely eventful day yesterday, unfortunately not really the positive kind. Nevertheless, everyone is safe and well apart from me so it's all ok.

Apologies for the small post, I am absolutely exhausted. Good wishes to all x

Thanks for post and refreshments futuredream, and you probably did congratulate me on the ISP change
(need emoticon for daft old tabby). Am grateful to HF for fuchsias too, which are amazingly early as mine not even in bud.

Glad you had a good evening with DH, although sitting in the rain seems a bit too close to the ancestors, and hope it was warm enough.

New cool cloths are indeed effective, and thank you so much for sending them futuredream. Have cut one into pieces for back-of-neck, as so easy to get chilled and they are extremely cold, remind me of Lidocaine in fact.

at " though sitting in thre rain seems a little too close to ancestors" - there do tend to be have icy strong winds up there , humbling us further at toils through the seasons to rugged foreparents

kind Showtime thanks not needed - very simple product and inexpensive to pop in post . Thrilled they are cooler than I'd expected , and hope other things turn up to help in your patient battle with the heat

Aha !! - Dh was dozing on garden bench , too tired to get up , when "my" companion butterly came to sit right next to him , for half an hour ! It was obviously talking to Dh , as he was very soothed and managed some work in garden after

Then- very went to allotments as all quiet at lunchtime , and instead of tadpoles spotting us instantly andd hiding as usual , they basked long enough for us to see legs on several of them < drags cybergardeners into June jig

s and or republican plus patriotic cakes

Lovely to hear about "your" butterfly and amazed that it stayed for so long. Have only ever seen one swallowtail, when it sat on DH's yellow sweater for ages. Maybe some of them just like men?
Wish I'd seen tadpoles too, Are they getting used to people, do you think? Are there dozens or hundreds? Exciting to see legs as they're developing, remember from childhood. We must have some in the cybergarden, surely, as have often seen something hopping in the evenings.
Been admiring card with bright pink flowers opposite laptop table, and just realised it's one of yours, so thank you again, really love the colours, particularly on a dull, grey day like today.

Oh that's beautiful at swallowtail landing right on your Dh , Showtime . Certainly never had that happen to me , but they do go close to Dh . Wonder if it's related to the way most animals do seem to prefer one gender over the other

You are solovely about modst card- that is "my" butterfly on there
.We most certaainly do have cybertadpoles and most of them have hopped already ,as it's always balmy here - blooming shame grey where you are , not the pouring rain here yet that was forecast from early morning

The RL tadpoles were a good 200 , and I think many grew legs about 5 or
6 weekeks ago - saw no signs at all of the fabled cannibalisim , and thin they've been taking it in turns to eat more of the pond plants etc for final growth spurt .. Nilgiri looked up the life cycle & found they can actually postpone developing into adults if weather not conducive .

< belatedly remembers to bring out gigantic jubilee / free citizens' cake and asks Upward to make first slice >

< beagle perks up >

s and non alcoholic

Sorry ,thought had reverted from childish namechange for another thread < brain fogged from too much cake >

I worry Upward will see , and think her peaceful cybergarden is less calm

Hope we're all having a good evening

< back to rest of chores neglected in favour of froglet -spotting , garden time and Mning >

Hello everyone, I wondered if I could join your group please. I am a little worried to ask as I can tell you're pretty well established

I'm sorry this is long

I'm not sure how to link my story from the mental health section, so I'll be as brief as I can

My DS is nearly 6. His Dad had no contact up until about 3 months ago. Things went well, but I started having huge anxiety and was contacting his Dad excessively. The anxiety got so bad that my son is in Foster Care and has been for 2 months. I have regular contact including some overnights and his Dad and I see him together once a week.

It hasn't been easy and his Dad and I have argued a few times, initially about my excessive contact, but then about me seeking reassurance from him and repeating myself after he'd already answered my questions. It has been quite strained on occasions but we've managed to get through it.

His Dad has recently found out that his brother is seeing his ex-girlfriend and he has not wanted to discuss this at all. It is obviously very painful for him.

His Dad's brother expressed an interest in seeing my DS, so we met up yesterday at the park for an hour. It was arranged that I'd phone his Dad to let him know how it had gone, but he didn't answer his phone. He then text to say he hoped it had gone ok. I asked if I could ring and he replied saying he didn't understand why people wouldn't leave him alone. He was a bit short with me on the phone on Friday as well when he rang to speak to my DS.

I have found it very difficult to not contact him today and find it quite difficult in general not to, but have been managing better than I did. He hasn't been in contact today, which I sort of expected but can't stop worrying what he thinks of me

In the beginning, when he got back in touch, I put him through a lot with my excessive contact and the things I said. In hindsight, I wish I'd asked him for help instead of placing my don in Foster Care. He has brought this up once or twice when we've argued.

It is like I'm obsessed with his opinion of what I say and do. Obviously, due to the nature of the situation, it's not going to be easy and harmonious all the time and will hopefully get better when my son comes home (hopefully the start of the Summer Holidays)

I am getting help from my care coordinator and gp etc but sometimes the best people who understand are those who've experienced anxiety and depression.

I'd live to join in and get people's perspectives.

I'd love some support please

H E L P

Having read through your thread, I'm afraid I'll bring a downer onto your group

Sorry to hear things are so difficult. I can't offer any practical suggestions, not having had anxiety, but I'm sure others can.

What does strike me is that's a huge amount packed into 3 months, from first regular contact with DS's dad after such a long time (if I've understood that right), through your anxiety becoming so bad, to DS being away from you at the moment - which I guess may make some things worse even though it eases the moment-to-moment difficulties of coping.

There would always have been quite a lot of "settling in" difficulty as you started co-parenting with someone you hadn't been close to in a while. Add in your medical probs and DS's dad's family stress, and you're both going to be making mistakes and having to cut each other a lot of slack, and forgiving each other's mistakes and picking up the pieces for the sake of DS. Much easier said than done.

Thanks for telling us about yourself, Spongeroberta, and sorry to hear things are difficult at present. Our cybergarden is open, but we're mainly a mutual support group which works because we seem to have a lot in common, eg most of us have physical problems but no children - unusual on a parenting site- and our interests frequently co-incide, apart from gardening of course.
All I can think of is to suggest you ask the care co-ordinator or GP to organise some counselling to help you deal with long-term problems of anxiety, as I doubt any of us has much experience in this area. (Leaving this open for fellow-gardeners to comment).

Thanks for posting, AfternoonD, and so sorry you're
feeling exhausted with recent events. Hope you're able to have a rest- sometimes it's not necessary to say anything at all.

Good to have news about the tadpoles, Futuredream, yet another species I miss having in my life. Beagle and I are pleased to see we have a Royal Republican Cake - actually we're glad to see any kind of cake, particularly at this time in the evening, but will wait until upward gets here, not wanting to appear too greedy, oh no....

Did someone say cake?

Heh, Showtime, I think we're most of us interested in gardening - but you and future are the only ones any good at it!

Future, sending restorative vibes to DH again. Not feeling very articulate on the matter, but lots and lots of empathy. DP another from the same box who never wants to let anyone down and will risk his own well-being for it. I've told him to to stand in front of the mirror practising, "N...n...n...no."

Hope you're keeping on keeping on, Upward.

AfternoonD & Spongeroberta, hope you both manage to get some good rest and wake tomorrow sufficiently refreshed to face the day, even at a slow pace.

Sleep well all.

Hi SpongerRoberta, I did see your posts on MH & was wondering whether I could come up with any thing useful . Am so sorry , like the others in the cybergarden here I have health condition & disabilities & just cannot post much atm , despitespecially if it requires good sense like Showtime &Nilgiri's excellent judgement -just brilliant , may take some of that advice myself-

... but I will say that some a lot of what you wrote reminded me of the horrors of the most anxious time of my life , and how incredibly hard it is for
almost anyone else to understand - & how many professionals don't seem to truly "get it" at all , as if there is a limit to their training < highly unfair>

I really admire the way you are trying to tackle all this , so much in such a shoert as Nilgiri says & hope you can find a way to make everything as simple as possible , as from my own experience , you will need the calm which that approach for dealing with agencies of great importance to your & ds's future , such as SS , and did I see you have first appt with a psych very soon ?Sorry if I'm wrong .

(Sorry , this paragraph should come after the next one )-I wonder if you can have supprt with setting boundaries , as this is a time of vulnerability re: ds , ex-P and his brother - again , speaking from experience - this is what stands out to me .

Can your ds's foster care SS liase with your EXP while your mh stabilises ? - As I am afraisd you could become stressed by him & his brother & lose your stability of judgement etc . Please try to cut away emotional matters if you can - can you talk over with a friend / your cocordinator , whether there are unresolved emotional issues complicating this ? Because I think they may be causing / fuelling your anxiety , and there is such a lot at stake here ..

I worry about fuelling your anxiety further here , but you need the calmest personal circumstances possible right now to get well & have DS back soon - it could be very hrad indeed on you if you were to end up havinge problems getting stable due to ExP & his brother's emotional carryings on -it is hard to be fully in control of one's action's when as anxious as you have been , < empathy >

Did you say your son'ds worker wants to see you feeling better in coparenting with EX-P? It may just be too high an aim for a while yet -you may need longer & some treatment , to be stable enough .You will get there ... just don't expecxt to feel the same as you did 3 months ago , for a while yet . Sorry if sound patronising.

Please ignore all the above as am not very awke & projecting some of my own experiences .< Spongeroberta wishes future had posted as little as she'd expected >

You sound lovely & wouldn't be a downer at all , but I think we're all wondering whether there's a way of streamlining the thread so Upward cadoesn't have to wade through all our - perhaps this is a good time to move things around a bit in the cybergarden

Dear God AfternoonD,< I didn't see your post earlier . Sorry so much happened , & hope you're OK .

Really sorry for essay - no chance of too many more words this coming week , I promise!!!!Busy week.
Glad you enjoyed cake , Showtime s < fills tin with doughnuts , traditional & modern >

Sorry for typos - good grief , I edited that so much it's very simplistic - sorry Spongeroberta , I should have thecybergarden includes some cognitive difficulties , as you see

< creeps back > Sory fo entire missed words & phrases ..

< sobs hopelessly at Nilgiri's having such experience of these issues with partners suffering due to too many responsilbilities> - your DP sounds amazing & I fret about the effects on him , your worrybut the effects , and the near-impossibility of actually changing anything

Heh *Spongeroberta , you thought you might be a downer on us < passes round hot chocolate and hankies >

< gathers felines & beagle for our group hug >

me , any good at gardening ? I was thinking enviously earlier how I'd love to know the plants you & Showtime do . I think I've killed off lots of plants this week through lack of watering , and several through being potbound , or whatever they call it .... you & Showtime have poetry in your souls in your approach , where I just copy

< takes latest midnight crop of SoD to park >

... and I forgot to say how much your great empathy & yours & Showtime's support is helping , Nilgiri ...

I guarantee I will post very sparingly the next few days - many apologies for crushing negativity this weekagain, a& hope Upward will not find her peaceful cybergarden obscured

< fairies look pleased with clean , cosy summerhouse >
< beagle snores contentedly >