Cybergarden: Spring into Summer

[Upwardandonward]

Here's a new thread for us.

Snail trees! My snail trees don't have snails! (being in a large pot suspended from top of fence )- have been driven to extreme gardening by the SoDoom, and wonder just how many veg can be suspended out of slug reach?
Thanks for the . Forgot to explain to AfternoonD about Upward's special in cybergarden, which will miraculously turn into whichever is your favourite drink at the moment..

at snail trees and extreme gardening! Filigree lanterns sound very beautiful, Showtime.

Glad it wasn't bad news about health, Future - but at horrid HCP for you. You've got so much to be proud of in your superb work dealing with HCPs and other services for MIL. Hope she's still reasonably comfortable, and able to enjoy the summer in little ways.

I started taking my phone into appointments after one particularly bad one, so DP could be there on speaker phone if not in person. We told the GP this was to "involve him in my care". And if DP's not available, I'll be recording on the phone or a little MP3 gadget "so that I can remember the advice I've been given and share it with DP." Neither of the above is true: it's actually so I have a witness to or evidence of GP's behaviour. Ah well.

Afternoon, wow, how marvellous to hear of all your tech assistance. Wow. Lots of fantastic ideas - I may be picking your brain at some time, too.

Upward, hope you're having small successes each day in the Battle of the Objects, and on other fronts.

Been taking notes Nilgiri, as really like your ideas re: using phone in interviews, and am relieved to know I'm not the only one hearing unbelievable stuff from HCPs.

Not heard from upward for a while, and am hoping that all is well. AfternoonD's academic plans reminded me
that you postponed your own studies while unwell, and am wondering if it's possible to get back on track?

Evening everyone

Well, my day didn't turn out the way I'd hoped. I over-exerted myself doing the painting, and I'm paying the price for it. My back is killing despite taking the oramorph, and my left leg is also joining in. I feel so guilty that I can't do much, all I did was paint a door and the toilet room, where as DP did DS's room (all 3 coats of it!) without any fuss.

It's set me off into my dark cloud place because I feel so bloody useless! I can't even do a bit of painting without having to have a "rest" and ending up back on my sofa laying down. DP keeps telling me not to worry, and that he'll do it, but it just makes me feel worse.

Will reply to individual posts later, I just don't have the strength at the moment :(

Oh joy at extreme gardeningand we must advance our research in this area over the summer
Thank you for the s
Good point , Showtime - fear the current obstacles to further study & professional development have been deeply difficult for you , Upward, and hope you are still able to do OU when feeling a little better . We're all sending positive thoughts and trying to stop beagle from bounding in every five minutes asking you to play catch with him

and bowls of blueberries to Nilgiri- that is exactly what I'll be doing from now on , drags cyberfriends up for happy jig >- Dh very relieved to hear it and thank you so much - these ideas had not occurred to me - cannot tell you how much better it makes me feel , & definitely one of the things you could consider , Showtime - we need several strategies in our armoury surprise and fear and ruthless efficiency as Dh is muttering repetively

Not surprised to hear about unbelievable things said by hcps, *Showtime... I think there is a culture of bullying , untruths and cover ups and many professionals cannot overcome their - frequently well-meant -stereotyping of clients . I see how easily that can happen , as am that "type" myself and often see real inflexibility in my friends who are social workers / hcps ... and that's saying something from a Marxist like me

Been at a political thing , far longer than expected - not one where I was much help , but was pleasant company and a lovely sunny evening More s , and 8Upward*'s magicsth

had pleasant company , I mean < glugs caffeinated >

We've all overdone it at some time, AfternoonD, and more often than not with painting, so know how it hurts and how disappointing to be unable to do more. Learning to pace oneself can take a long time, but it's a great help, and we learn to stop kicking ourselves because our bodies are no longer perfect and we can't do what we'd like as it's no longer a matter of choice.
When it gets you down, try reminding yourself how much you can still manage to do, and how much worse it could be - one of my very fit friends is now in a care home, needing help to get to bathroom due to strokes....
I'm assuming they've told you how much Oramorph you can take if necessary, but don't forget, an extra dose can mean extra laxative is necessary (and it keeps me awake too!)
Tomorrow's another day, so hope you'll feel better.
Thanks for the , and goodnight all.

< dullest post evr alert >
Ooops , forgot to thank Nilgiri for asking after MIL -Dh was too tired / unwell to visit much l , recently which I don't think they "get" , but MIL seems quite different now the nurses are doing the peg feeds and really chatting to her evey visit...plus her GP persuaded her she would feel better for braving the fresh air (neuropathy means she finds breezes very cold ) and she's sitting out every dry day to get her Vitamin D

You are life-savingly , unwarrantedly kind to me Nilgiri you know it's so much much easier on behalf of others , as long as you aren't feeling too emotional . I was in righteous , SW mode myself & emergency GP , and hospital consultants ,were amazing ... SS were not , making allegations to avoid taking MIL onto caseload , but was OK as GP was familiar with the tactic

< started another long ramble to try to help us in our battles , but will save it for a daytime > . Really exciting to see all the advice patients give each other on health sites about dealing with these issues , and charity & lobby group helplines give good support

< puts out big tin of luxury biscuits and promises a week without mention of intense subjects >

< extra fuss for ndt for his sentry duty , and for HF who was cruelly ignored as I bustled off out >

< fairies snooze with boredom on sagging cushions >

Oh no ,AfternoonDelight I take so long posting I crossposted , sorry .
The pain sounds horrendous , excellent advice from Showtime
mMain rule here , were it can take us the best part of an hour to write a post , is not to reply to different points for days or weeks at a time - whatever it takes . We all nderstand the lack of strength .

So sorry to hear the feeling of uselessness... that wrenches my stomach as I am not afflicted by that type of emotion , despite managing little and causing Dh great stress by chaos and inability to deal with the bureaucracy for health , care , benefits etc ... you are the joy in your DP's and DS's lives , the centre of your family , and clearly very determined and have managed to keep your interest in life , and pursue major studies . It takes years to really get your bearings with all the issues < gold cybergarden medal for effort and positivity >

Hope you can get some sleep ,a dn all of us have a peaceful night

sorry for typos
< puts out pot of hot chocolate and lemonbalm

Morning all.

I've had 4 hours sleep. My sister took an overdose last night. Luckily she was ok, she was found by a housemate, but she took some 20-odd anti ds, 10 or so paracetamol, and something else I can't remember.

My head is spinning and I don't know how to make this better for her.

She had just received her bridesmaid dress from me and it didn't fit. She's not small (neither am I) but that was just a tester dress - it was £18 from eBay! I told her she was welcome to stay and help with painting and I had to be restrained by DP last night from going to get her (she's a 5 hour drive away, and it was 1am).

What a mess :(

So sorry to hear about your sister, AfternoonD, it must be so difficult being five hours away, but hopefully she will now have the necessary support and understanding to be safe in the future. Your DP is right, there is very little you could do - sorry, tenses jumbled here. Hope you can get a couple of hours' nap/dormousing some time today, before you yourself feel worse.

I loved your post, Nilgiri, particularly the bit about DP and the dishes! Worth remembering indeed. Beagle doesn';t mind being flopped on, but fairies could indeed bite, or poke one with their wands, or leave us to do the dishes...
Making tray of espresso, s and futuredream's posh biscuits, and hoping upward's feeling ok now.

Oh AfternoonD! How grim. As Showtime says, hope this triggers improved support for her.

And you can't make things properly better for her - any more than she can for you. But I'm sure your support lightens the load for her.

You poor things ... Very glad DP persuaded you against trying to do
the impossible - plus your DSis might have felt have felt guilty & thus worse .

Yes , please keep telling yourself what Nilgiri said that you can't make things better for her , "any more than she can for you" .

Is she at home now ? Has she been given an outpatient appt , or was she advised to go to her GP ? Perhaps you could ask her to do Nilgiri's speakerphone thing to have you "at" the appt supporting her ?

I used to find unbearable stresses could seem less hopeless by reminding myself that every choice can be changed , which seems obvious now but didn't when young and depressed , as I'm sure we can all relate to < gammar puzzlement>

Does DSis feel she really must live up to certain standards ( poor girl about body image - I'm sure she knows in her head that 's all harmful nonsense , and feeling big in lovely dress was a tiny part of a umulation of stresses ) . She knows you only want her to b happy on your wedding day , but if she's feeling low , she needs a regular support that you would find v difficult even if you were close neighbours.Maybe her self esteem and "resilience" could be helped by counselling /cbt / support groups run by mind MIND or women's groups similar

Wish could wave a magic wand to ease your back and exhaustion to make things easier .

Thank you Showtime and Nilgiri for amazing posts last night and today
Sorry for long dormousings-still wakings
< arranges urgent mediation between indignant fairies , clumsy gardeners and bouncing beagle >

Forgot to say thanks for s, Nilgiri

Hollies looking beautiful here , kind Showtime - I wondered whether the change of climate would upset them , especially when v hot last week

Right , making lots of assertive strides here with the outside world

We're all sending love and companion animals to you , Upward

Enjoyed your last post futuredream, and it's true that every decision could be changed. I still do the Quaker thing of simply waiting for an answer to arrive, and reminding myself that I don't have to make a decision immediately (like changing pharmacy). Glad you've sorted out the squashed fairy situation too, no doubt with more Quaker principles, which was actually beyond me today.

Kind Showtime , and sorry if you're having an extra challenging day as your advice is perceptive & magnificent as ever .
( You were needing to walk around the other evening- is that problem still extra troublesome ? I know you usually prefer to say nothing , but we're all sending extra pain easing thoughts round cybergarden today )

Why didn't I come out with letting the answers come into your mind and arrange themselves fall into place As I'm always saying , I rely on it for every type of bewilderment , especially in emergency when all reasoning freezes . Certainly it has helped me come to see which situations were wong for me , etc . Thank you for this calming solution at such a time of turmoil for AfternoonD

Thinking of you , AfternoonD , and hoping you can manage to nap eventually as Showtime was wishing for you

'Twas your and Nilgiri's indignant and wand-wielding little folk who made me shriek , S < creeps off , stifling snorts so as not to disturb Meeting of becalmed beings >

Sorry am being so slow- really distressing pharmacy situation , Showtimeand hope the answer arrives soon
< future creeps into Meeting to calm own indignation >

to everyone on this thread.

Inspired by you all, today I took my courage in my hands and went to see a new GP. And he's taken me seriously and referred me.

It seems so simple sitting here and typing that.

I didn't say anything to anyone here or in RL, just picked up the phone several times before dialling and made the call.

And I could do it because of all of you, your courage and patience and (particularly from Upward) grace under extreme circumstances. If you can do that, then who am I to not take a risk.

Reaction now setting in, and I'm off for a howl and a lie down.

But Thank You. I think you know what this means to me.

Thanks futuredream for kind and pain-easing thoughts today, and was just having a moan about walking about, nothing new at all.
Just got weather forecast, which shows showers this evening and tomorrow, so don't have to do any watering of containers.
Been slogging away at boring chores this p.m., and plan to visit possible new pharmacy tomorrow before committing self or even having a word with assistant/s at regular one. It's not really distressing at all, just another bit of a nuisance, and I'm sure both Upward and AfternoonD have far more to put up with just now.

Oh dear god Nilgiri , what amazing news . I am so relieved !!!! !!!!!
You are incredibly brave and must have felt overwhelmed for some while after .
So agree about Upward's grace under horrendous pressures < calming
breezes through-lavender- thoughts to us all >

Sorry for going all soppy there, Showtime but tha 's me fretting
, really , that that is the discomfort you suffer all the time . You are a heroine of courage tome for sayiong pharmacy stuff just a nuisance !

Thinking of you and your sister , AfternoonD, hoping you can feel she is getting support - so much easier said than dne , I know

Just realised you somehow dredged up energy to post in cybergarden before going to terrifying appt , Nilgiri < entire row of platinum medals fotr today's efforts>

May we have a discreet bottle of non alcoholic wine to clink for Nilgiri < puts out fairy-sized s too >

Could do with a good glug of that refreshing non-alcoholic wine, Future - maybe made into some delightful punch with clinking ice, and tangy lemon and orange slices.

Glad to hear Showtime has pharmacy plans in hand.

Cybergarden an excellent distraction while awaiting appt.

Sorry, I'm so shocked at what I've just done I may be very discombobulated for a while.

< cybergardeners send strengtherning vibes >

You've been amazingly brave , Nilgiri and I'm sorry you're so worried . There are many reasons to feel confident you will be taken seriously , just from th little you've ever said ( sorry , this referral might be for a separate condition altogether ) . Do you have any good experiences of helplines for your condition you've probably set up one Knowing the one for my condition was sympathetic has really sustained me in recent years .

Sorry you have the nervous wait now , but I'd just say that whilst I've met some unbelievable reactions , as have you & Showtime I'm now finding the majority of doctors , even consultants , have migrated to the the other end of the aggressive - solicitous continuum .( btw , sorry for my wailings all week- how on earth did you persevere with contactin new GP after my bletherings)

I made two make or break appts as soon as I crawled from nestbox , meaning have 3 sobmaking ones in next fortnight - felt pushed into it by events, and am still seeking clarification as to whether demon woman has messed it all up by getting in touch with another hcp , against my wishes ..

Have also just realised that my new GP wasn't just urging me to go private for "first few appts if possble" to see a fancy pants specialist , but wasmeaning I wouldn't be seeing one of the more standard onest on nhs through his surgery at all so I wouldn't eat into his budget

Will be good to finally get these matters resolved though , and get onto the proper appts . Sorry , me me me X 1000 ...

< sets up veggie barbecue and picnic so we can all loaf after hard day >
< Irish folk musician set up in far corner of cybergarden to play us comforting airs of brave venturers >

Thinking of you , AfternoonD , though I doubt you'll have chance to post

< returns to graciously bestow posting holiday upon poor discombobulated Nilgiri >