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Calling Maddie 04!

275 replies

NanaNina · 23/02/2011 15:16

Hi Maddie - hope you don't think I'm stalking you but you left 2 sad faces (well I think that's what they were) a while ago and no text. Just wondering how you are - hope you're feeling better than me as I am having a ghastly time at the moment. Can you come back and let me know?

OP posts:
NanaNina · 03/06/2011 20:45

Oh Maddie, so very very sorry you are still feeling so awful, but glad that you told your CPN how you were feeling, and I don't think it hurt at all that you were crying all through. At least your CPN can see for herself the state that you are in. To be honest love the CPN couldn't say much more about your wishing to be dead, only about it affecting your children etc.

I truly do understand Maddie how you don't want to hurt your children or OH but how you can't stop thinking about it - I have felt this so many times myself and have "written" letters in my head to my kids and DP and close friends. There is actually a thread at the moment called "How many times do you think about suicide" and the number of posts is growing by the day. I felt some relief in being able to talk about it, and my "chosen" method. It is surprising how many people think or have thought of suicide as a way out of the pain. I think mental health illness is the only illness that makes us want out of it.

Given that your CPN now knows about your suicidal thoughts I would have thought she would be referring you to a psychiatrist. Would you be willing to go into hospital, because it seems to me that this would be the best thing at the moment. I have been an inpatient twice, once 15 years ago, and once last Easter (in for 3 months both times) and it is quite boring, but the thing is it means you don't have to think about doign anything - and for you it might mean help with your eating disorder. I wonder if not eating is making you feel so weak Maddie.

It's all very well for the CPN to say "hang on till next week" and in reality what other option do you have. When I am having really bad days friends text me and say "hang on in there" and I think "that's all very well but what other option is there" because I am one of those people who have thought of various ways of committing suicide but at the same time don't think I would have the courage to do it. I would if I had no family or friends.

Have you ever seen a consultant psychiatrist Maddie, because if not, it's high time that you did. He/she may be able to add something to your meds or even ECT as a last resort, which I am told is very effective for people whose depression doesn't respond to ADs

Maddie you haven't lost every bit of who you are, but I understand completely how you feel that this is the case, because I have spent hours crying "this is not who I am" and grieving for the real me. There is still Maddie underneath this awful black cloud that is wrapped around you and making you feel like an alien, like you don't belong on this planet. Sorry that might not be how you feel, but for me the most scary part of depression is the feeling of being an alien on the planet - I am under a big black cloud and everyone else is bathed in sunshine. I know it's not true because many people hide their problems but it's what the depression says to me.

Keep posting Maddie and look after your lovely self.....with much love NNxx

OP posts:
maddie04 · 05/06/2011 01:49

Not been referred to a psychiatrist NN and yes if hospital was going to take this feeling away I would go into hospital but would that even work?

Thank you NN for your lovely words I just want you to know that you are such a lovely person and have helped me so much, more than you could ever imagine.
Maddie xxxxxxxxxxxxx

bipolarchick · 05/06/2011 02:47

Ive told and told my care coordinator how im feeling what im planning, even told him im stockpiling meds and how many Lithium tablets I need to kill myself.

He didnt even bother to tell my gp so ive managed to put in another repeat script and have now got enough Lithium (google tells me I need 134)

I however do have a pycharist and I know what his reaction will be when I tell him this....

Maddie please reach out, ask your cpn for a pycharist or the crisis team.

natsyloo · 05/06/2011 08:29

Hi Maddie, I would definitely ask about referral to a psychiatrist and discuss options with your CPN so that you don't feel like you're constantly hanging on for the next visit. Part of getting well is having a support plan that is appropriate for the situation you're in.

It always helps to write things down if you feel too stressed to have the conversation with your CPN.

Thinking of you xxx

MadamMemoo · 05/06/2011 20:34

Maddie, how are you doing? Bit worried about you after one of your posts on another thread. Xx

NanaNina · 05/06/2011 22:14

Hello Maddie - thank you for saying such lovely things about me, you don't know how that helps me too, when I am feeling I am worthless and hopeless. But at the moment, you are the one needing more help and support than you are getting. I presume it was your GP that got you allocated to a CPN and really that just doesn't seem enough for the way you are at the moment.....you really do need a referral to a consultant psychiatrist, who can diagnose and decide on the best course of treatment. Whatever you are on now is not helping is it love. What are you on by the way.

Look Maddie - please tell your CPN this coming Thursday that you want a referral to a psychiatrist, and if she is unwilling to refer you, then go to your GP and ask him/her. If you are too low to be able to face fighting for yourself which might be the case, can you ask your OH to be there when the CPN comes or make you an appt at the GP and go with you, to lay it on the line how much you are suffering.

The NHS are usually reluctant to admit people to inpatient care as it's expensive (and everything is about money these days isn't it) and it isn't a magic cure by any means. Not sure about your part of the country, but here in the Midlands they try to keep people in their own home. My friend was very ill and wanted to go into hospital but the CPN was visiting daily, rather than admitting her. All it does really is that you don't have to think about anything - mind even getting up and getting showered was a big effort for me and I used to sit sobbing and chewing my fingers (like a child) for most of the mornings. The nurses don't really talk to you abot how you are feeling - they just say "oh well you might be better tomorrow" or something like that.

It is only conslt psychiatrists that can admit to hospital. It really isn't fair to you Maddie to just have a weekly visit from a CPN who just tells you to "hold on till her next visit" - it's difficult cus I don't really know what sort of person you are - whether you can be assertive enough to tell the CPN or GP that you need a referral to a psych. Mind when we are feeling so low, we can't fight for ourselves can we. I am usually quite an assertive person but when depression hits me I am a quivering wreck and scared stiff of doctors and psychiatrists, and constantly saying I'm sorry and I'm ashamed of how I am etc etc etc. Damn this illness. When the bad days come, I am scared of the door knocking or the phone ringing.

Maddie you too are a lovely, caring person - that comes through so clearly in your posts; you often mention that you are sorry for not asking about others, and only a caring person would think like that........when we are really really low, it is as much as we can do to get through hour by hour, never mind asking how other people are.

Sending you love Maddie and I am here to hold your hand (even if only in cyberspace) for as long as it takes. Love NNxxx

OP posts:
natsyloo · 07/06/2011 10:54

Maddie, we're all here. You need to talk to someone about how bad you feel - call Samaritans if you're really keen for urgent support chick. 08457 90 90 90.

You're worth so much (more than you can poss imagine at the moment I think). Write it down to get it out of your head and then make sure your CPN knows how bad you feel and that you need more support right now.

Big un mumsnetty hugs to everyone on the thread.

xx

NanaNina · 07/06/2011 12:36

Hi Maddie (and Natsy) me too wondering how you are and like Natsy says we are still here for you - sorry to keep nagging you but it sounds like you need a referral to a pyschiatrist at the very least. Will you ask CPN about this on Thursday.

Incidentally why do people say "un mumsnetty hugs" - are we not allowed to give "cyber hugs"

Sending love as usual to you Maddie and a big cyber hug! NNxx

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NanaNina · 07/06/2011 19:41

Just popping by Maddie to see how you are and whether things are any better or not................much love NNxx

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MadamMemoo · 07/06/2011 21:58

Bit worried about Maddie. Text her but no reply and she hasn't been on here today.

maddie04 · 08/06/2011 01:30

Hey NN, Natsy and MadamMemoo

I am seeing my cpn tomorrow and she wants my OH to sit in with us so bang goes my cover, i will let you all know how i get on, you are all so lovely
Im struggling to hold on but i will see what tomorrow brings
Love to you all xx

MadamMemoo · 08/06/2011 09:42

Hope it goes well today, don't worry about anything, just be honest with her.
Hang on in there xxx

kizzie · 08/06/2011 14:38

Hi Maddie - hope its goes well with CPN. For what its worth I think its good that DH will be there x

natsyloo · 08/06/2011 17:35

Let us know how you get on Maddie - we're thinking of you xx

maddie04 · 08/06/2011 21:24

Hi everyone xx
My cpn came out today and she spoke with my OH just informing him of whats been going on.
I just feel like I just cant trust anyone right now, they just want to add someone else into my care change my meds and talk more.
Had enough!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you to everyone who has helped me on here xxxxx

madmouse · 08/06/2011 23:03

Maddie please give them a chance to help you and don't do anything irreversable - your kids need you even though you can't see it right now xx

maddie04 · 08/06/2011 23:15

Im so sorry I have tried and its in my head to get the hell out of this shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mummylin2495 · 09/06/2011 00:44

I dont know what i can say to help but just wanted you to know that someone has seen your post.Please call someone to help you,even your local hospital .Your family need you.

Isthreetoomany · 09/06/2011 01:03

Maddie - I understand from your previous posts that one of your problems is that you eat very very little. If you are starving yourself then you will not be in any fit state of mind to make any kind of irreversible decision like this.
I have had anorexia and I understand it is all about control and I can see that it must feel so difficult if you feel that your control is being taken away by your CPN speaking to your husband and making changes to your care plan that you do not want. But please hold on as your children need you far more than you may realise now x

MadamMemoo · 09/06/2011 11:06

Maddie, I had to try lots of different meds before they found the right ones. Please let them help you. This next medication might be the one that helps, the one that stops you from feeling so ill.

You have to realise that it's not really you who wants to kill yourself. It's the illness making you think it's the only option. It's like a bad spirit that gets in you head and messes with your thoughts.

Think about it. Do you really truly want to leave your children to grow up with no mummy? What you really want is for the hurt you feel to stop and at the moment you think that suicide is the only way that's going to happen but it's not, the other option is to take your medication and talk to the people who are trying to help you. I know you don't believe me but you will get better darling xx

MadamMemoo · 09/06/2011 11:09

Maddie, you have my number, you know you can contact me any time, even if it's the middle of the night. Xx

natsyloo · 09/06/2011 13:38

Maddie - this is your illness speaking, I promise you. You are poorly and you need help.

Your children really need you, they love you and you are such a fundamental part of their lives. Make them your reason for getting through this until you can see things more clearly.

We're here - we're listening and we want you to get in touch.

You can do this xxx

NanaNina · 09/06/2011 17:26

Maddie, can only really echo what everyone is saying on here. Did you mean that the CPN was telling your OH what has been going on - I would have thought it should be the other way round - your OH telling the CPN have poorly you are and how you are not eating.

Who else are they adding into your care - is it someone to help more with the children or more support for you. Whichever it is Maddie, you need to let it happen, and as others have said, a change of meds might (just might) make you feel better.

I truly know why you want to give up the fight Maddie and understand it as I have felt like that so many times this past 18 months. I know everyone is talking about your children and i also know that you think they would be better off without you but this is not the case. They are very young, and you must be a very young woman yourself and there will be an end to this torment Maddie. I know it's hard to believe that now, but it will end, and the real Maddie will start to come peeking through (may take a while, but it will happen) bit by bit.............sending you love and thinking of you, so please keep posting............love NNxxxxxxxx

OP posts:
maddie04 · 09/06/2011 20:37

hi nananina just wanted to let you all know im safe im in hospital as i tried to end it all i will be back soon when feeling better love to you all x x x

TheOriginalFAB · 09/06/2011 20:38

Oh maddie Sad.