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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Original poster

Toddler ballet - no parents allowed?!

33 replies

MumblesAndMutters · 15/08/2021 10:38

DD is 2+, I’m looking for her to do a class that involves movement on the weekend. She really enjoyed a community centre type toddler dance class over the summer, but the teacher moved away and it’s stopped.

The local dance school offers various preschool level classes however they say from 2.5 they don’t allow parents into the class. Is this standard? I’m not hugely comfortable with this, not least in case she feels a bit lost or needs the loo or whatever. Reluctant to send her. Is this a “serious dance school” thing?

OP posts:
Orangesandlemons82 · 15/08/2021 10:41

My daughter started with a ballet school at around 2 years old. I was allowed to watch the first one but after that had to just drop her off. I always took her to the toilet when we arrived and it was ok, but did initially have similar worries to you.

00100001 · 15/08/2021 10:46

It's because parents interfere and the kids behave much better without then there.

ExtremelyDisorganised · 15/08/2021 10:49

There often isn't enough space in the dance studio, they distract the children and it takes longer to get everyone in and out between classes if all the parents are in there too.

frenchnovice · 15/08/2021 10:50

It's pretty standard I would say.

LivingNextDoorToNorma · 15/08/2021 10:53

I danced right through my childhood and then taught at the school for a while in my late teens. This was always the case. Children tended to participate more and behave better without their parents there. To be honest the studios I danced in wouldn’t have been big enough for parents to stand and watch anyway.

Original poster
MumblesAndMutters · 15/08/2021 10:57

That’s reassuring, thank you! And presumably works better since it’s a widely done thing.

OP posts:
MonkeyPuddle · 15/08/2021 10:58

Same thing happens at my DS’s gymnastics class. Sometimes some parents peek through the door and the kids go all excited and start messing about, model behaviour when parents aren’t looking!

bestbefore · 15/08/2021 11:09

It might be a hang up from covid restrictions to, the lady I know who runs a dance school say the class is much better without parents there..!

clary · 15/08/2021 11:13

Standard IME. DD danced from age 3 to age 18, don't think I ever saw her during class. There would be so many people in the room if parents were allowed. And maybe they are afraid of comments and interference? ( not you of course OP)

Seeline · 15/08/2021 11:15

My DD has been dancing 15 years and that was the set up for her first class too. We could stay for the first lesson, after that we could wait in another room if we wanted or just drop off. They had an assistant teacher to help with loo runs, shoe changes etc. Every term they had a watch week where parents were invited to stay and it was chaos compared to the normal lessons (you could hear the lesson if you waited in the adjoining room). I can quite understand why they ran lessons in this way!

MoonlightWanderer · 15/08/2021 11:17

I think it is common but not necessarily a good thing given all the abuse allegations surrounding dance and gymnastics. People always ask why didn’t the parents better protect their kids, but in most cases parents were banned from watching or attending. I wouldn’t be comfortable with this.

aerosocks · 15/08/2021 11:17

I seem to remember there having been dozens of threads before, all asking the same question, and all receiving the same answer. It is totally normal for parents to not sit in the classes and watch.

Original poster
MumblesAndMutters · 15/08/2021 11:23

Really helpful again. We’re a non-dance family but DH’s immediate thought was the same as above - they’ll behave better without parents. Mine was more in the vein of wanting to protect the PFB. We’ll give the class a go in the autumn.

To the parents of dancers - was it ballet you started with, or tap? I’m after the easier one for DD, initially.

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 15/08/2021 11:24

Yes it’s standard

My dd did ballet at 2. She was fine if no parents were in the class, but if it was showing week, and we were there, she would keep running back to me. A lot of the toddlers did

frenchnovice · 15/08/2021 11:29

I would start with whichever you think dd woukd enjoy most. my dd started ballet and hated it. After a while I found a new school and she started tap.....she was gong round the house "tapping " anyway. she loved it. .and later asked to do ballet. ..6 years on still loves both!

SpamIAm · 15/08/2021 11:29

I spoke to a mum at a different class who took her 18 month old to a ballet class and was told she couldn't stay with her. Needless to say they didn't return!

I wouldn't at 2 personally. We did Tiny Toes which allows parents until they move up to the Twirlers class around 3.5-4.

I'm certainly not from a dance background but my understanding is they should start with ballet as that's the foundation of all dance. I've never seen anywhere offer anything else for that age!

TheVolturi · 15/08/2021 11:30

My 4 year old is keen to start ballet and this puts me off tbh!

frenchnovice · 15/08/2021 11:30

My dd was 6 when she stated though. .A lot later than most other kids I would say

Kaleidmoscope · 15/08/2021 11:36

If she's only little, definitely ballet, it's the foundation for everything and for age 2-3 will be run as a fun class with actions etc so they have fun learning about moving to music.

Plus re tap - the noise - dear God, the noise. Once they're older they can control it a bit but at that age it would just be stomping about madly. I would advise you thinking very carefully about whether you want that being 'practised' in your house!!

clary · 15/08/2021 11:37

@MumblesAndMutters

Really helpful again. We’re a non-dance family but DH’s immediate thought was the same as above - they’ll behave better without parents. Mine was more in the vein of wanting to protect the PFB. We’ll give the class a go in the autumn.

To the parents of dancers - was it ballet you started with, or tap? I’m after the easier one for DD, initially.

DD started with ballet, tap and modern. She dropped tap when she was about 12-13 as it was getting difficult (her words!) and she wasn't enjoying it, but kept going with the other two.

You can always tell a dancer by the way they hold themselves.

00100001 · 15/08/2021 11:39

@MoonlightWanderer

I think it is common but not necessarily a good thing given all the abuse allegations surrounding dance and gymnastics. People always ask why didn’t the parents better protect their kids, but in most cases parents were banned from watching or attending. I wouldn’t be comfortable with this.
Then don't send your kid to the lessons.

The same could be said for schools, youth groups etc. You are presumably comfortable sending kids to rainbows/beavers/school/childminder etc?

How is it different?

aerosocks · 15/08/2021 11:42

@MoonlightWanderer

I think it is common but not necessarily a good thing given all the abuse allegations surrounding dance and gymnastics. People always ask why didn’t the parents better protect their kids, but in most cases parents were banned from watching or attending. I wouldn’t be comfortable with this.
With that age group, there are always at least two staff in the class, and they will be fully DBS checked. And I'd say that unlike gymnastics, 99.99% of dance teachers at local schools are female.

It's no different from a nursery school really.

Kaleidmoscope · 15/08/2021 11:48

Also just to add to my note above - mine started ballet at 4, then picked up tap at 7 (the dance school doesn't offer it before that age) then added jazz and lyrical a few years after that - so there seemed to be quite a set progression through the different styles at that dance school. But of course there are other ways of doing things and for some kids tap or jazz is what they love from the get go and ballet doesn't get a look in! I hope you and your dd find something she loves, I've got 3 happy dancers and it's lovely!

Lemonsyellow · 15/08/2021 11:49

My child is a professional dancer. She started dance lessons at eight and a half. She’s only ever done ballet.

Seeline · 15/08/2021 12:23

Mine did a class with 30 mins ballet, 15 mins tap at 2 years. Although it has to be said little of it was really recognisable as such 😆 lots of skipping, moving to music and getting shoes to make a noise.

She started separate lessons at 4, took up modern as well at around 7. She's 17 now and still does tap and jazz just for fun.