looking for an after school club for ds (5yrs)

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I don't think he's naturally sporty, he's trying rugby and while he likes running round, once they play a little gamehe doesn't like it. He's happy to do tasks (practising running, doing circuits etc) but isn't too bothered by the hustle and bustle of it all.

Dh says he doesn't want him to go to beavers / scouts

I don't want it to be swimming as I want it to be where he socialises and gets chance to meet and make new friends

What else could i try?

Try tennis - there are slower balls for younger children and it's very sociable without being too rough( if he didn't like the rugby)

Most clubs have trial sessions and lessons after school. It's the perfect age to start.

All you will need if he decides to take it up is a racquet. You can borrow one at the start and then buy one later ( about £15-20)

thanks, willlookat local sport centres, hadn't thought of that..

Not trying to be nosy but why does your DH not want him to do Beavers?
For socialisation and range of activities I think you will find the Scout movement hard to beat. It is also reasonably priced and if you select your group wisely you will get a lot for your money. The religious aspect can be off putting but the promises no longer need to feature a reference to serving God and I am unaware of any groups where church attendance is mandatory.
DS has just become a Scout and the range of activities on offer is mind-boggling :o

I would say beavers would probably be the best thing to try if you want something sociable and exactly as has been said the promises have all changed I believe, they certainly have on the brownie side of things.

our school do an after school multisports session for the younger ones, so they do lots of 'activity' rather than one particular sport, learning skills like kicking a ball and so on.

Judo?

Woodcraft? It is like Beavers but boys and girls and without the same christian base.

The woodcraft looks good, but nearest to us is still about 15 mile away

dh mentioned he went to school today to drop sunhats off and loads of kids were playing outside in the small reception area, a big group of kids playing together... and ds was playing by himself

i went to see the head about a child who seems to have honed in on ds being quiet and hitting him, and while the head is dealing with this, she mentioned how ds has an active imagination and likes to play by himself.

I'm torn, i think he is not loud and bolshy enough to join in the group as it is a really loud boy heavy year...he still doesn't really have a friend, and this hasn't improved,he is so cheery and sociable, and was in nursery...

bloody hell, i just don't know what to do and if i'm worrying too much

Have a look at St John ambulance badgers. 5-10 year olds, generally small groups and a mix of male and female

Another vote for Beavers here (although as a leader Im biased).

Allyfe, Beavers is for both boys and girls, and nobody should be overtly pushing Christianity either. Or any other faith. We might reflect on something or learn about others faiths, but religion doesnt play a big part.

Instead, we encourage all our Beavers to make friends, have fun and try new things. And that means making sure everybody is included.

I’m a Guide leader but would also vote for Beavers, the Christian element really shouldn’t be being pushed heavily at all, and he would get to try lots of different kinds of activities