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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Original poster

DD doesn't want me to go to a meeting at class

19 replies

KatyMac · 03/10/2012 07:41

Because I will make a fuss (true) & get upset (true) & I'm embarrassing (possibly true - she is nearly 15)

It's about her conditional place at the school & what she needs to work on.

Should I let her go by herself?

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SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 03/10/2012 10:50

Yes you do sound embarrassing! Why would you get upset and make a fuss?

AMumInScotland · 03/10/2012 10:56

Do you trust her to take this seriously? To listen to what she is told, ask appropriate questions, come away with a clear idea of what she needs to do?

If so, and if you going along wouldn't improve any of that significantly, then I'd say let her go on her own.

She's quite a mature and motivated child from what I can recall of you mentioning things before, so I think you should let her do it her own way, and show that you trust her.

SheelaNeGig · 03/10/2012 11:00

Can you negotiate acceptable questions and promise not to weep or swear?

Original poster
KatyMac · 03/10/2012 11:01

I am, because I think the school have treated her badly and that she should give up.

I think she can do it; I hope she can do it

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AMumInScotland · 03/10/2012 11:11

Then I think you should let her go alone. She knows that if she gets fed up, you'll support her leaving. But she isn't choosing to do that (yet) so she needs to talk it through with the school and reach her own conclusions.

It's tricky when you think they're making the wrong decision, but if this was her dream then only she can decide that it's not working out.

Original poster
KatyMac · 03/10/2012 11:30

I guess, she has offered to take someone else's mum or her teacher; I wonder if they will go with that

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Original poster
KatyMac · 03/10/2012 19:40

She is going by herself

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BeckAndCall · 04/10/2012 06:42

Is this her ballroom school, Katy?

She can always go on her own and then if you think she didn't get all the information she needed, then you can follow up.

She may have been badly treated, it's a cutthroat kind of business in the dance world, as we both know, but I'd suggest staying calm - what's done is done and you can't change the principal's mind by shouting or get upset (I'm guessing this is a partners issue?)

(I was 'gettingalifenow' before name changing a while back, so we've chatted before)

Original poster
KatyMac · 04/10/2012 07:42

It's Ballet school; they keep saying if she works hard they will move her up. Then they tell her she has worked hard but they won't move her up 'this time' & they've done it 5 or 6 times over the last year

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BeckAndCall · 04/10/2012 08:50

But do your classes not go with grades - or is she passed the grades stage now? If she's phased the exam, does she not move up?

Original poster
KatyMac · 04/10/2012 18:03

This is a CAT & it's ungraded work.

It's the falseness of it that annoys me; if they said 'You are staying where you are' I wouldn't be happy but I'd understand - but the false promises? That's cruel

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NatashaBee · 04/10/2012 18:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
KatyMac · 04/10/2012 20:14

Actually she has written one herself - I only added 1 word!!

She is turning into her mother!!!

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Original poster
KatyMac · 06/10/2012 19:16

She has been given 4 targets (not very SMART imo, but....)

  1. Improve her turnout over her whole leg
  2. Sit with the rest of the class at break/snack times
  3. Improve her enthusiasm & confidence
  4. Improve her leg flexibility

So we have no time scales (well "over the year") & nothing very specific

I think 2 is unfair she is up to 4 yrs older than then & she reads/does GCSE work at break times & 3 is just astounding, as she embodied those words!!

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RedHelenB · 15/10/2012 10:42

Turnout is crucial in ballet as is flexibility. I would imagine the others have been doing ballet for longer & so there will be the need to "catch up"/ Not sure about 2, maybe they feel that she could learn some tips from them?

Original poster
KatyMac · 15/10/2012 22:42

Thanks RedHelenB, I think it's difficult if you are working on your GCSEs to be socialising with children doing their SATs on anything but a very superficial level

I sent in a letter and they have taken my letter as 'grievances' rather than the concerns they were

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RedHelenB · 16/10/2012 08:16

I know at my dds dance classes the "hanging around" time is often spent practising, getting people to show how to etc & maybe that is why they want more socialising? Maybe they are concerned she is feeling a bit discouraged with beinbg the eldest?

RedHelenB · 16/10/2012 08:19

Plus being older she could probably help them too. All age groups socialise at dd's dancing & the little ones love the big ones helping them & showing an interest in them.

Original poster
KatyMac · 17/10/2012 21:53

She's been doing that for a year & she is a bit fed up now

Ah well they arranged an interview 'to come & chat' for me at less than 24hrs notice; I was away & so I didn't even get the email until 2 days later.......so I am not flavour of the month I guess

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