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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Original poster

DD (5) does not want to do ANY extra curricular activities...

16 replies

complexo · 15/05/2012 13:37

Before when I did not have money she was younger and would throw herself at everything.
Now that I can afford she simply does not want to do any activity at all.
So far we tried capoeira/karate/ballet/street dance/tap dance/gymnastics...
She is still doing swimming after much debate and just because daddy said if she doesn't go to swimming lessons he won't take her to swim with him.
The only reason we push her on this is because we see swimming as a life skill.
It makes me a bit sad because when I was a child I wanted to do so many activities and my parents couldn't be bothered...I ended up doing some stuff once I was a teenager and could go all by myself but never took anything seriously and wasn't confident enough.
The other problem is that we both work full time and doesn't drive so we hae to choose activities that are close enough to us and are after 6 or weekends so I do feel guilty I don't have the time to find the right thing....

She is a happy and active girl who loves school and outdoors, so I really should chill out and let her be, shouldn't I?

OP posts:
pianomama · 15/05/2012 14:17

I think you should :)

WhereMyMilk · 15/05/2012 14:22

Leave her be. DS (just 6) also only does swimming. He'd get out of that too if he could.

DD was the same at that age. And to be fair, I think with school and all that that entails, unless they really want to do something then I'd let them be. I really hate when parents push their DC to do actinides every day. It stops them being able to entertain themselves for a start. If your DD is otherwise happy and has friends, let her lead.

DD now 8 does brownies, swimming, French club and violin. Wish she'd stop thinking of stuff she wants to do now:o

WhereMyMilk · 15/05/2012 14:23

Activities, not actinides obviously:)

Get0rfMoiLand · 15/05/2012 14:23

Yes - just chill out. In infants school they are often very tired anyway at first, and school is enough. She may well take an interest in things next term. Just let her dictate the pace.

And don't feel guilty about having to schedule activities around your working - there will be plenty of things to choose from as she gets older, it doesn't matter in the scheme of things if she misses out on something (because it is scheduled straight after school) now.

gymboywalton · 15/05/2012 14:23

she is 5!!!

my eight year old does piano lessons and a drama club. he also loves playing out on his bike/scooter, reading, playing with his toys etc
they need time to be children

kilmuir · 15/05/2012 14:25

Good grief. Swimming yes i agree with you, but otherwise back off. Save that money for later!

meditrina · 15/05/2012 14:26

My reaction is lucky, lucky you.

Ferrying children to activities can rapidly become a PITA, and not having to do it should be seen as a blessing.

She'll find activities she wants to do, when she's ready to do them. It's worth making suggestions, so she has some idea of some possibilities. But stay chilled until she's actually keen on something.

Violetroses · 15/05/2012 14:27

She's only five! My 5-year-old DS only does tennis on Mondays, and that's certainly enough for him.

She probably wants to spend time after school relaxing and being with you - not being organised in yet another activity. Reception is full-on, and she needs time out at the end of the day. There's years and years to come and doubtless she'll be wanting you to pay for all sorts of classes in the future. Save up for then!

COCKadoodledooo · 15/05/2012 14:39

Our school actively discourage after school activities in reception age children, which seems sensible to me. Enjoy it while you can!

DowagersHump · 15/05/2012 14:42

Yep, chill out :) DS does swimming, that's all. I feel a bit sorry for the kids in his class who do something after school every single day. I suspect that's more about the parents than the kids :(

DeWe · 16/05/2012 12:10

If she's not worried then leave her.
But you could suggest she does one activity a term. If she likes it she can continue, but maybe she could try football next term, ballet the term after, cricket, gym, tennis, craft, drama....
If she enjoys one then she can choose to continue it on. But the assumption is that she will only do it for one term unless she asks to keep going. That way she won't feel under any pressure to do it.

ZZZenAgain · 17/05/2012 10:40

"So far we tried capoeira/karate/ballet/street dance/tap dance/gymnastics...
She is still doing swimming "

When you say you have tried these activities, do you mean you have suggested them or she has actually been there and had a trial lesson? I think at 5 it really can be quite intimidating to go somewhere where you don't know the teachers/instructors and other children, to figure out where things are and what to do. Perhaps if she has actually had a go at all these things, it was too overwhelming. She is really very small. To do one organised activity for a certain time and get used to the people and the activity itself, to get better at it is one thing but to try a great deal of different situations/activities might be a bit too much - even for us adults. She will find things that interest her with time. I would leave it for now. I don't think a 5 year really needs to do anything at all in terms of organised activities so I really wouldn't worry about her missing out at this stage.

ragged · 17/05/2012 11:31

do not stress, I would only push swimming at that age & that's a MAYBE.
DD did nothing at 5, and (literally) up to 10 things a week at 8yo, back down to 4-5 items now at age 10. Which is Sane, thank goodness.

Original poster
complexo · 19/05/2012 09:58

She is enjoying swimming now and I suspect it is to do with the fact that she made a friend and it is daddy's task to take her so she gets to spend quality time with him whit out me around. She never had problems with water anyway. The other activities she tried over a period of time, some she went for few terms than gave up others she done trials only. I really wish she would enjoy karate as I think it would give her confidence to deal with bullying in the future (not that I think she will kick people's arses but at least don't feel so intimidated knowing she can defend herself if she needs to). I'm now waiting for girl guiding people to point us to the nearest Rainbow Group to put her name down on the list, I think it is he kind of thing she would like, as she loves to make friends and complain that at the classes she does not have time to play with other children and has to do what the teachers tells her to.

OP posts:
motherinferior · 19/05/2012 10:03

I think you're taking it at the right pace. And don't worry, lots of us have to schedule our children around work - it's fine, and mine (now 8 and 11) seem to have picked up quite a lot of other things along the way!

Loonybun · 19/05/2012 10:06

..... And?? :)

My dd is nearly 9. She went through a spell of disco dancing but now she doesn't want to do anything. I don't think it matters at all. Life is exhausting enough with friendships and school etc.

Save the money you would have spent and spend it on a nice day out for all of you :)

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