6 year old daughter' s panic and refusal to go to her swimming lesson

[LizMary]

My daughter loves swimming and has had several blocks of swimming lessons. A new block starts and suddenly for no apparent reason she refuses to do it. We are at the pool ready to go and she provides lots of crazy irrational reasons, cries till she is hyperventilating and it all goes pear shaped for mum and daughter. We have had 2 further attempts, where she was nearly there but had a kind of panic at the last minute so it s not getting better. Clearly I need to give it a break and try again later but any advice on how to tackle.We can be stern, rationalise, be kind but ultimately she needs to go back to lessons at some point.

I think she may be embarrassed so going to a different venue might help

sounds like she is scared which is odd because you say she loves swimming. I think you had best leave it for a while. Could you swim with her, or just get in the pool over summer perhaps on holiday? Is it something to do with putting her head unter water, being totally submerged - is it that she doesn't like?

When I was 5yo I begged to go to ballet classes. Finally got to go, and... I got bullied and then refused to go back -- only I wouldnt' tell my mother why. Seems so silly now, but I was ashamed that I couldn't stand up for myself, and I couldn't explain all that.

Not saying OP's DD is being bullied, but it's probably worth while to get to the bottom of it. Something she can't easily talk about. I doubt very much that it's about swimming itself.

I find whenever DS behaves in a similar way it is because the last lesson was a bit difficult and he feels he is struggling a bit. I now know this and speak to the teacher who gives him some help/reassurance and it seems to sort itself out with this...

Yy cece, my ds is exactly the same.

Can you give her a break from lessons for a bit - would she go for just a splasharound session with you maybe? Or maybe see if she wants to bring a friend along after school/in the hols, to just play in the water.

Has the teacher told her off at all? I know my friend's dc (same class as ds) used to play up a bit, messing around and stuff in lessons and their teacher told her off (not shouty, just firm, and as my friend admitted it's more than she's used to...), she had to be bribed to come the following week!

My DD (6) was the same when she had a new teacher. She can swim but refused to go in the pool. She dived in at the end of the first lesson with me at the other end holding the towel for her to get out and was fine the following lesson. I think it was more to do with the change of people. She is fine now.

Why does she need to go back to lessons?

Have you let her miss the lessons when she behaves like this? If you can it could well be an attention seeking/control issue.

My DD(5 at the time) did this. I think she found the venue overwhelming (it was very noisy) and coupled with starting school it all became a bit much for her. I agreed to switch to a venue with a small (and much warmer) teaching pool and also switched her to lessons at the same time as her cousin. This really helped and she has carried on swimming there even though she is no longer in the teaching pool and no longer in lessons with her cousin.

Maybe you should go more in your spare time with your daughter too get more confident.. I did remember when I was in school and had a swimming lesson I'd be nervous all day becausse I hated it there isnt any worse!

Ashlee x

Did something happen at her last lesson, my dd loved her swimming lessons and then all of sudden didn't want to go. It turned out in the previous lesson she had done a tumble turn for the first time and the water had gone up her nose. I had a word with the teacher who was great and explained to her what she needed to do to avoid the water going up her nose and she was fine.