When do you let kids drop activites you know they like and are good but times becoming an issuse?

[lexcat]

Dd loves swimming and always has, tonight she swims with the club. Every week I have a battle but when she's their she's fine and afterwards has always enjoyed the swim.

She now want's to give up on the Sunday swim as it cuts into her weekend, I on the other don't want her to give up so easily. Plus I feel as soon as the evenings start drawing in dd will must more willing to go.

I don't want to push her to much but at the same time she's worked hard to get this far and does enjoy the swim when she's their, it's more to do with the timing.

I am the complete opposite. In the winter i drop swimming as it is cold and with the nights drawing in all we want to do is curl up by the fire. My DD did dancing for years but with all the other curricular things she does too she had to drop something as homework was becoming an issue.
When a child says they don't want to do something it is generally time to stop or just halt it for a while. We had it with the dancing even though she really enjoyed it once she was there.
Swimming is a very important thing to learn so can you change when she does it or ask why she doesn't like it? It could be another child in the class annoys her or the teacher shouts etc?

I don't have the energy to push them to do something optional.

Is Sunday night the only night she swims? Swimming is a safety thing in my mind, so I like to keep DC swimming once a week, but I wouldn't keep them in a competitive club against their will.

DD swims on wednesday but not with the club. Also does life saving once a week. I will add this is all dd's choice and dd wouldn't dream of giving them up.

Yet again this week dd didn't want to go swimming, wants to quit, but we get their and she's fine. By the end yet again was glad she went and no she don't want to quit. I do feel it just because it's at the weekend.

Oh she swims already on another day and does life saving! Well she should def give up her Sunday swim then plus it gives you the whole weekend to do what you want IE: go away if you fancy it.

Whether she enjoys it or not every week she complains, does she on Wednesdays too? If not then you have your answer imo [hsmile]

how old is she?

Bit different but we have recently gained DD's agreement to drop one of the 3 instruments she plays. She was very good (g5 distinction at 9y) but not outstandingly so and it wasn't her favourite activity. She would come out of lessons full of enthusiasm but wasn't truly happy to pratise as much as was expected.

What other activities does your daughter do? In DD's case looking at the whole picture something had to give and for various reasons that instrument was the obvious choice. It does feel very sad to let go of something DD had some talent for and got pleasure from but she needed time to just relax (although she doesn't recognise it herself!)

Personally I wouldn't push her, as its just added stress for you & missing the point that its meant to be a treat for her so to speak, also its obviously not a safety issue as she already swims, so IMO save yourself the money & the stress.

you don't say how old your DD is, but I've had similar problems in the past with my own DD over Dance classes, she loved it initially, very good at it I was told, they wanted her to train towards competition etc etc, but she soon got very bored of the same old routine every week, so it ended up with my practically dragging her there, always late, as she just wouldn't move, & me always stressed on talking to her about it one day, she was bored by it, liked to dance, LOVED the Summer school where they worked towards a show, but didn't see much point in doing the same thing week in week out, in her words "for no reason" ...obviously she needed to train longer for competition standard, but at her age (6/7 at the time) she just didn't understand that at all.

I've had conversations with friends with kids of similar ages, & those of older kids too, & in general it seems from that, that there's no point in pushing them, once they hit senior School they are more likely to keep at something they have a genuine interest in, so why stress yourself/waste money

Agree with the others - our DD (8)had been doing karate for 2 years and wanted to 'quit'. Various reasons, but she doesn't go at the moment and is much happier overall.

I have to kick start myself to get out of the hosue at times for sport and things like that but I feel good afterwards so I do understand your dd's reluctance. Sometimes you really don't feel like doing things.

I don't know really. Sport is important IMO and if she enjoys it once she is there and comes out happy, I think it is the idea of it which doesn't appeal.

My dd started saying last year when I asked her if it was all too much and if she wanted to drop something, that no, she liked everything but if she was going to drop something, whynot choir? Now she has said afew times and I started to listen and wonder why she is willing to drop it because whenever I see her afterwards, her eyes are glowing and she is buzzing and happy.

We had a chat and it seems that although she likes the girls, the teacher and the sociability of it, she finds the songs boring to sing because (in her words), they are all so slow. When I thought about it , it is true, the music is lovely but it isn't really dd, she is more of a wild, stormy, bouncy little thing so after the CHristmas concerts, I plan to let her stop until we find something a bit more in her line or stop altogether if we cannot find the right choir for her.

Could you stop for a bit - 3 months?

Thanks everyone, we've had two wet cold weekend and dd's friend has join her lesson and suddenly dd had a change of heart. Now I see part if it was she was swimming with the school and she hates school swimming that's stopped and suddenly dd wants to swim again. So must so we've changed one of her 1/2 hour so she can have the longer 1hour class (her choice).Plus dd thinking about doing another session which I'm not so sure about.