I know, family knows, the whole area knows. But he is happy and she is his first 'proper' girlfriend, and he is 35. He has money in trust, I don't know if she knows about it, I will not benefit in any way if he stays unmarried and dies, so no financial interest for me, but a huge moral dilemma. Trustees don't seem to be worried from the financial point, but I do worry about other aspects. Dh does not want to get involved.