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Ethical dilemmas

Would you tell someone her husband was a cheat?

5 replies

Eesha · 02/05/2017 08:50

A person I know through family introduced me to his new girlfriend. I knew he had always said to her he was separated. In fact, he got back together with his wife (so we thought) but saw them both though both women didn't know. This gf has now found out and on top of this found that he is also seeing an ex who knows the wife and whom he had an affair with before. I was thinking today how awful for the wife that he is playing them all but she is trying to keep her marriage together thinking he has maybe only had a quick fling but in reality it's much more. Technically I could anonymously say something but not sure I want to get involved.

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SmokeCloak · 02/05/2017 08:53

Stay out of it.

FrenchLavender · 02/05/2017 08:58

Unless she is a good friend of yours I would stay well away from all of it. There's a lot going on there, it seems some of your info has come third hand and may not be 100% accurate. She already knows her marriage is rocky, leave her to draw her own conclusions. If he's got three of them on the go it won't take long for the penny to drop.

SheldonsSpot · 02/05/2017 09:00

If you were going to say something, then anonymously is probably the nastiest most hurtful way you could do it.

PurplePen · 02/05/2017 09:42

All you actually know is that on a particular date, this man introduced 'Jane' to you as his girlfriend. So if you were to tell the wife anything, that's all you can tell her.

You don't know that he was still in a relationship at that time with his wife (hence you "so we thought" comment) and the rest it seems is second and third hand gossip information.

If you're going to tell her then stick to the facts (you met Jane who was introduced as his girlfriend on XX date), don't include all of the other stuff, and for fucks sake don't do it anonymously - that just makes you seem like a bit of a shit-stirrer.

Eesha · 02/05/2017 10:37

TBH I'm glad general consensus was to avoid. Before I thought these things happen but when he went back to ex and is now seeing her, I felt really bad for wife. Like you say, with three on the go, someone will find out

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