Helping elderly parents with heating controls

[Needtosoundoffandbreathe]

My parents, in their 80s, are struggling with their heating controls. They've recently had the traditional pin circular timer on the fairly new boiler (it's maybe 2 years old) and separate wired in thermostat replaced with a digital controller and thermostat in one because they couldn't get the heating to do what they wanted it to. I had to go round at short notice at the weekend because the heating hadn't come on.

Well it wasn't on because the temperature in the house wasn't below the temperature the heating is set to come on at. They had the boiler on the incorrect setting too so it wasn't communicating with the controller. Anyway, I demonstrated correct setting and showed them how to manually put the heating on when they need it.

I've now realised there's a fundamental lack of understanding of how the thermostat works. Added to which, 21 or 22 degrees is not warm enough for them. I feel like I'm going mad because I've suggested turning up the setting to 24 or 25 degrees if they're not warm enough, but there's a reluctance to do this, which I think is because they're worried they'll get it wrong and either break it or get a huge gas bill. I'm going to have to go round again (50 mile round trip. I work full time in a demanding job and my sibling is 200 miles away) to change it. It's a two minute job.

Does anyone have any tips for how to deal with this? I think a large format display controller would be helpful as both were struggling to read the controls. Maybe they should get something like Hive and I can control the bloody thing from a distance? It's not even particularly cold yet.

If they can’t work their own boiler they definitely do have cognitive decline.

No they don't, the world has moved on massively in recent years and it's hard to keep up if you are elderly. That isn't cognitive decline. Not everyone has dementia!

However, I can't see why they can't just move the temperature up a bit? Could they ask a neighbour to help? I don't think Hive is the answer as they'd expect the OP to change it all the time for them.

I certainly wouldn't be going to sort it out for them a second time, but I have some sympathy as I had to do similar for my mum (in her late 80s) - not heating but broadband. She had to have a new router as her provider stopped providing the service, and she couldn't sort out how to reconnect all her devices to the new service. Fortunately she had enough data to keep her going until I got there.

If you get Hive installed you can download the ap onto your phone and control their heating from anywhere in the world.

@carbontesting8418 I agree. OP you say neither shows any sign of cognitive decline but this IS a sign.

I know you say your parents were never hot on tech, but changing the temp on a thermostat is not hard, and you also say the reason they changed to this system was because they couldn't make the heating work the way they wanted on the previous system either.

My mother stopped being able to work her very simple boiler controls quite early in her cognitive decline. She called the engineer out several times because the boiler 'was not working'. Actually, she just couldn't understand how to use it.

Regardless of whether they are cognitively impaired I would definitely recommend a Hive or similar because they aren't going to get any better at this.

I just set my mum’s for her and then if it needs changing, she has to wait until next time I’m there. You say they’ve got a fire they can use so they don’t really need to be changing the central heating on a daily basis.

I have the Hive app on my iPhone and actually turn the heating on or off, up or down from my workplace a few miles away. It cost a couple of hundred pound to set up but has been worth it. The only time it stopped working is when my router was faulty, as it usually relies on a WiFi connection.
So you could have the hive app on your phone linked to a hive controller in your parents’ home, set up by a local heating installation company (check reviews etc before employing them obvs); just tell your parents never to touch the controller but to text / phone you if they’re too cold - then turn the heating on/ up if / when required! You can also switch their hot water on & off. (Plus install smart lightbulbs etc etc…)

I do agree with pp re: cognitive decline and I don’t want to scare you but - at the start of her dementia journey one of the first signs was that my Nan stopped being able to use or learn new technologies.. unfortunately we all missed that early sign or made excuses for her, so as she lived alone and masked fairly well, things got much worse for her before she got appropriate help & treatment sadly. Now I feel very bad about the whole situation really looking back.
OR The other thing is that undiagnosed Neurodiversity such as Autism or underlying depression can cause people to have poor executive functioning & becoming easily overwhelmed with complex tasks such as managing with new technologies.

There is no cognitive decline and some of you should please back off with your armchair diagnoses of dementia and autism! Mum is pretty good with tech, but struggles to read small screens and has been managing things to try to fix it the best she can when something is new to her. She's been trying to figure things out, which I take as a good sign. Also the bloody manual is small!

It is not intuitive to change the thermostat. You cannot press a single button to do so. To manually override the system you have to press one button to enter the menu, then a different button to toggle to manual then a different button if you want to up the thermostat temperature temporarily.

And that's just the manual override. Changing the programmed settings is different. That's what I think we're going to have to do.

There is no need to be so defensive about it OP. A few of us have explained our own experiences with relatives who have the start of cognitive decline and suggested it as a possibility. Good luck with sorting it out.

Im only 48 and my new thermostat confuses me. Can you set it high so the heating comes on even when you'd think it wasn't needed and instruct them to control it by just turning the rads on or off as necessary?

I haven't been defensive: you're barking up the wrong tree! And so insistent you are right when you do not know either of my parents.

@Hohofortherobbers I am going to turn the thermostat setting up as clearly they need it be higher than 22 in order for them to feel warm. I think that should resolve things. When I went round, the rads were not stone cold so I did wonder if they had been on briefly, the system then reached temperature and they went off.

It's one thing to be told that normal room temperature is 20-21 degrees, but if are not warm at that temperature then it needs turning up.

A tablet sounds a good idea if your Mum struggles with tiny screens. It could have the HIVE app on it.

Depending on your Mum's ability with tech/the Internet, Age Concern offer IT lessons to people in their own homes. A relative is in her 90s and has had someone coming out each week to help her get online and it's been brilliant.
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/services/in-your-area/it-training/

I've been thinking she may find a tablet helpful. I think a remote app is the potential next step if we can't resolve this by cranking up the thermostat.

A Hive will do the trick to a point but be aware that if the WiFi goes down at any point it is likely to bump the Hive off-line and that will disconnect it from your phone. It will need a reset which will involve you jumping in the car and physically being on-site to re-establish the connection. It shouldn’t happen too often and Hives definitely have their advantages but they certainly aren’t perfect and I just wanted to flag their limitations…The same will be true for Tado though IME they seem to remember the WiFi connection better and it’s easier to reconnect. Tado is more expensive than Hive I think but would be my preference. Good luck! None of this is easy…

I am in 60s and different systems have different operating stuff . And I find the dials and numbers quite hard to read . Used to a manual system for most of my homes but only recently knew about separate thermostat controlling it . Previously used a timer or just switched on and off. Tech is great if it does what it is supposed to do but I do get frustrated when I do all the right steps and it doesn't comply . Often happens on apps for me

@Chelmewintrigued to know if you solved the remote issue as I’m having the same problem. @NeedtosoundoffandbreatheI spoke to a friend who is a gas engineer he’s recommended Hive but said he’ll have a look at nest. I’ve had too many calls to say it’s too hot / cold so remote access was the best solution. I’ll report back on success!

Hopefully just setting it to 25 or 26 is enough, having another thing to mess around with would be a nightmare
I've only ever had a room thermometer that then kicks the heating on when it drops below what I set it to. It's a dial. Usually in colder room like my hallway. Is that what they have/had before? Even im confused 😆

@mommybear1 Bought one of these from Amazon. Cheap. Simple and nice big buttons. Easy to connect to the tv too.
We did have to remove the input button and cover the hole with tape after 2 ‘callouts’ because they’d pressed the av button and got a blank screen so thought the TV was broken. 🫣
Edited as image not uploading. - it’s called seniors elderly big button universal extra large remote - currently £8.49. 👍

My Dad used to keep his flat thermostat on 26c. I'd go at the weekend to do his cleaning and used to have to strip down to a vest top.... I'd come out sweating like a pig. When in his last months of life, he had it running full choke 24/7.... his last gas bill was horrific.

Totally non tech 60 something here I can manage my hive fine it's easy to turn the temp up ours is set at 23 but I'm.known for upping it! Can't do with being cold . Also easy to turn it on when.its not at the set time . The previous control we inherited was impossible for me to use this hive is no problem. Good luck OP mastering the control was way easier than coping with a WhatsApp.video call and instructions from afar . I'm also pretty sure my cogs have not declined yet

PIL have increased their heating temp - the place is like an oven in winter. We all wear a T shirt under jumpers so we can remove the jumper when we get to theirs. They must have it set to 24/25. When they’re here at Christmas the rest of us are so warm we have to keep going out of the living room to cool down. And it’s not that they don’t wear enough clothes. MIL can be wearing a wool jumper with a cardigan over - while DH is in a T shirt, passing out.

This has only been the case for a few years - since their mid 70s.

I understand what you're saying op that your dad fundamentally misunderstands how boilers work, but at the absolute basic level he must under that "higher number = hotter" and "lower number = colder"? I think you might need to find a system with a easier control unit. Most of the ones Ive seen have big display with the current temp, and you just press a + or - button to set the required temp.

The fact they want the heating on now is telling. We're not at that stage yet and usually have a few weeks of it being on only in the mornings as we move through Autumn towards Winter. And we live higher up and have single glazing.

Apologies if this is a stupid question

Could they not just switch the heating on as and when it suits them?

That’s what my mum does. Often the thermostat doesn’t relate to when she feels cold. There’s a morning and evening timer in winter, but apart from that, she just switches it off and on as she sees fit.

Something like this? Press + for a higher temp